Seattle Grace Preparatory High School
by xiao chan
Summary: FINISHED AU: Meredith Grey is just like any other teenager in high school: struggling to understand her mother, trying to pass Biology, making friends, and falling in love with the most unattainable guy at Seattle Grace Prep.
1. First Day and First Impressions

**Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I no own so you no sue.**

**Chapter 1**

"Remember, if the teacher doesn't assign seats, sit in the front to get the best advantage out of the class," my mother reminded me as she handed my lunch. "I'm paying good money to send you to that school and I want you to learn all you can."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I've gone to school before. This isn't any different."

She gave me a stern look. "This is high school now, Meredith. You're not a child anymore; you're a young adult. These are the most important years of your adolescent life and I don't want you to waste them. You will be strong young woman with a successful career and high school is the chance to build strong foundations. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied, almost automatically. If I just agreed, she'd stop sooner.

"Good." She gave me a stiff hug and opened the front door to let me out. "Have a good day at school."

With a deep breath, I stepped out of my house and began to walk to my new high school, Seattle Grace Prepatory. It was a private school, boasting a student body made of six hundred of the nation's brightest students. It was a very selective school, but luckily my mother, Ellis Grey, was an alumni and valedictorian for the class of 1979. Not to mention, my entrance exam scores were truly exemplary and placed me in the ninety-sixth percentile. They also managed to lower the tuition cost from an appalling $10,000 a year to only an alarming $6,000.

I lived ten minutes away from the school on foot (two minutes by car) and since I left an hour before the first bell rang, I had plenty of time to tour the school and gather my bearings before the school began to get very crowded.

Despite my reassurances to my mother, I felt a little apprehensive as I walked through the heavy oak doors for the first time. I clutched the books in my arms, as if they were some emotional anchor that kept me weighted to my sanity. The school itself wasn't very big compared to most other schools, but for a freshman who came from an even smaller elementary school, the long hallways and the modern artwork framed on all the walls could have scared anyone to death. Breathing in slowly to calm my erratic heartbeat, I pulled out the information from one of the pockets in my backpack and tried to navigate my way through the halls.

After finding my locker, wrestling with the lock, and arranging all the books in order of period, I pulled out my schedule and started to memorize it. I didn't want to look like most freshmen, with their noses, buried in their schedule and wandering around the building. After I memorized the schedule, I memorized the map and placed in my mind where all my classes were so I wouldn't have to pull it out again. I was so busy trying to prepare myself for the day, that I didn't realize that more students were coming in.

"Whoops!" I felt someone roughly bump into me, slamming me against my locker. "Sorry about that."

I looked up into the pair of bluest eyes I had ever seen in my life. I could almost feel the ground fall out from underneath me and the breath fly out of my lungs (well, partly because he had just slammed me against a locker).

"That's okay," I managed to reply breathlessly. The guy smiled at me and it vaguely registered in my mind that I should watch out for him. I hadn't seen anyone else yet, but I was willing to bet that he was easily the most beautiful guy in the school with wavy black hair with a shadow of stubble covering chin and cheeks, and a very white smile.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern tainting his voice. My throat closed up, so all I could manage to do was nod.

At that moment, a tall, equally handsome boy walked up behind my assailant. "Geez, Derek! Terrorizing the freshmen already!"

The two of them laughed as I was still uncomfortably pressed against the locker. "I'm not terrorizing her! You pushed me." He turned back to me. "Sorry again. My name's Derek Shepherd, by the way. What's yours?"

"I'm Meredith Grey," I replied hoarsely.

Derek flashed his blinding white smile. "Nice to meet you."

I nodded again.

He realized he still had me up against my locker, so he moved and gestured to his friend. "This idiot is the reason I bumped into you. His name is Mark Sloane."

Mark smiled and offered me his hand. I took it and managed a very small smile. "Nice to meet you," he said, almost seductively.

"Well, we'll see you around, Meredith. Good luck at Seattle Grace!" Derek called as he and Mark began to make their way down the hallway.

"Thanks," I muttered under my breath. After watching them round the corner, I caught a glimpse of my watch. I decided to test my memory before classes started and run through my schedule by finding all my classrooms.

* * *

"Welcome to your first semester of ninth grade Biology," Dr. Bailey said briskly as she passed copies of our syllabus down the rows. "My name is Dr. Miranda Bailey, but you will call me Dr. Bailey. Of course, some of you might have already heard several of my former students refer to me as 'the Nazi'."

The guy sitting in front of me with short, mousy brown hair looked like he was going to puke out of nervousness. I could see little droplets of sweat trickle down his neck.

"I will begin every class period by calling roll," she announced to us as she pulled out her clipboard and a pen. "Margaret Adams!"

"Here."

She continued down the list and paused for some time right in the middle. "Meredith Grey?"

"Here," I said. She eyed me curiously.

"Are you related to Ellis Grey?"

"I'm her daughter."

Dr. Bailey nodded and continued with the rest of roll. After checking off all our names, she went through the rules and procedures of her class with us. She was just as I expected; very exacting and a perfectionist. She warned us at the very beginning that it would be a very difficult class, but she had confidence that we would live up to her expectations. Before class ended, she gave us the reading assignment and we all carefully copied it down in our planners the school had issued us.

I walked out of the classroom with the sweaty boy who sat in front of me. His name, according to the class roster, was George O'Malley.

"Wow, she sounds really tough," he said nervously.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I have a feeling that she wasn't lying when she said her class was difficult."

"Me too," he nodded. "I'm George O'Malley. What's your name?"

"Meredith Grey. Nice to meet you."

"You too." We shook hands as we continued down the hallway. George seemed like a really nice boy with a sweet face and kind, green eyes. I got the impression that he was eager to please and eager to learn. He reminded a little of a puppy.

"What class do you have next?" he asked.

"English pre AP with Mrs. Byrum. What about you?"

"Geography with Mr. Nemeth. I heard he's difficult too."

I smiled at him sympathetically. "I don't have him until next semester. You have a really tough schedule."

He sighed and hung his head. "Story of my life. I'll see you around, Meredith."

I waved. "Bye, George."

We parted ways and I walked off to English class feeling slightly less anxious. I had just made my first friend.

When I walked into the classroom, I was greeted by a very stern, short teacher with a furrowed brow and thin lips. "What's your name?" she asked solemnly.

"Meredith Grey," I supplied.

She referred to her seating chart and pointed to the desk in the very front of the room. Without another word, I set down my backpack next to my seat and watched her place the others that walked into her classroom. Not even two seconds before the bell rang, a boy came skidding through the doorway with a wild look in his eye.

"You're late," Mrs. Byrum informed him.

"I'm sorry," he replied smoothly. "I couldn't find my classroom."

"That's no excuse. Being tardy is unacceptable. Go to the deans' office and get a pass."

"Aw, come on!" the boy shouted. "It's the first day of school, and I'm a freshman! Cut me some slack, will ya?"

She narrowed her eyes and the boy grumbled off into the hallway without another word. After he left, Mrs. Byrum turned to the class and informed us explicitly that under no circumstances would she accept tardiness without a pass from another teacher or faculty member. "You shouldn't even bother walking into my classroom late. If you know you'll be late, go to the deans' office and get a pass."

When the boy came back, she looked down at the name on her pass. "Welcome to freshman English pre Advanced Placement, Mr. Karev. Please take the seat next to Ms. Kavanaugh."

My morning classes proceeded much in the same fashion. The only other notable event was when our Geography teacher, Mr. Edgehill, paired us off so we could get to know one another. I was paired with a girl named Isobel Stevens.

"But _please_ do _not_ call me Isobel," she shuddered. "I hate that name. Just call me Izzie."

I smiled. "Okay."

Izzie was a very pretty girl; she had long, platinum blonde hair and big, shadowy brown eyes. Even on her first day, guys were starting to eye her hungrily. I told her and she just rolled her eyes. "Guys are pigs, Meredith. I'm here to learn, not to date."

By the time lunch rolled around, I found a table with George and Izzie. We passed the time swapping our lunch items and exchanging first day horror stories.

"I haven't been to biology yet, but I have Dr. Bailey too. Is she really a Nazi?"

"Oh man," George exclaimed. "I thought lasers were going to come out of her eyes and burn my skin to a crisp. She was so scary!"

I laughed at Izzie's terrified expression. "George is exaggerating."

"I am not!" he shouted. "She's scary! She could eat me!"

Izzie and I laughed. After we finished eating, we played rock paper scissors to see who would throw out the garbage. I lost.

On my way to the garbage can, someone slammed into me for the second time that day. Time seemed to suspend as I felt myself hurtle towards the ground, but before I landed, someone grabbed hold of my arm.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Meredith." I recognized the voice and felt a blush fire up in my face. Looking up, I watched as an apologetic smile spread across Derek's shadowed cheeks. "I keep bumping into you."

I managed a very weak chuckle. "Let me guess…Mark pushed you again?"

"Ah geez. The girl knows me too well," Mark said from behind Derek. He too had an equally wide smile aimed at me. "But you, my dear, are incorrect. Before you get the wrong impression of my friend, you should know that he is inalterably clumsy."

I watched Derek briefly grimace at Mark, then turn his attention back to me. "I'm really sorry, again. I'll try not to keep falling on you."

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks."

He laughed, and my spine tingled at the sound. "I'll see you around then."

I nodded. "Yeah. See you."

Derek let go of my arm and waved as he walked out of the cafeteria with Mark close by his side. Trying to ignore the curious stares of underclassmen and upperclassmen alike, I quickly threw away our trash and walked back to my table.

"Omigosh, did Derek Shepherd just bump into you?" Izzie whispered urgently.

"Um, I guess," I said uncomfortably. "He bumped into me this morning, too. Well, more like he slammed me against a locker."

"No way!" Izzie squealed. George gave her a weird look, but she ignored him.

"What's the big deal?" he asked grudgingly. "What's so special about him?"

"Omigosh, Derek Shepherd and Mark Sloane are not only best friends, but _the_ most popular senior guys at Seattle Grace. Not to mention they're the brightest and most promising. The fact that they talked to a freshman, much less _Meredith_ is a _huge_ deal."

"Hey," I protested indignantly, but Izzie ignored me.

"I can't believe it! You know the two most popular guys in school! Can you imagine how many parties that can get us invited to?"

"I thought you said you were here to learn, not to date."

Izzie shrugged. "I am here to learn. But an important part of high school is socialization, and I want to get the most out of this place as I can."

I had two more classes after lunch: Geometry honors and Latin. I shared both of them with an abrasive Asian American girl named Cristina Yang. When Mrs. Rodriguez asked us the definition of Geometry, she punched the air with her arm and spouted off the memorized definition from the book before the teacher got a chance to call on her.

"Thank you, Ms. Yang. I'm glad you got the chance to read your books over the summer."

She nodded briskly and proceeded to answer every single question Mrs. Rodriguez directed at the class without allowing any of us to answer.

When we got to Latin, Mr. Pactor placed the two of us together and when he called on me to answer one of his questions, Cristina gave me a glare of utmost loathing. When he turned around to write something on the board, she hissed quickly at me, "I'm onto your game, Grey, and it's not going to work."

Needless to say, she answered the rest of his questions before I could by never raising her hand.

The end of the day found me at my locker, gathering all the books I needed for my homework that night. On the walk home, I reflected on the events of the past day and concluded, with satisfaction, that my first day of high school had been a success.

**A/N - I'm not sure where I came up with this idea. I just liked the concept and decided to write it down. Please review and tell me if you liked it, because otherwise updating would be a waste of my time and yours.**


	2. Whaddya say, Grey?

**A/N - I'm loving the positive feedback so far! It's been great, and I've definitely decided to continue. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

I came home to an empty house and with mixed feelings. I wasn't sure if I liked the fact that my mother wasn't home after my first day of high school: on one hand, she wasn't there to ask me how my day went. On the other hand…she wasn't there to ask me how my day went.

After checking the answering machine to make sure there were no messages, I made a beeline to my room and changed out of my uniform. Then I finished my homework, fixed myself some dinner, and pulled out, _The Great Gatsby_ and started reading. Right as I was starting to get into the story, the phone rang. Slightly irritated, I picked up my phone and pressed the talk button.

"Hi, this is Cristina Yang. Is Meredith there?"

I wanted to say no and tell her that she had the wrong number, but my curiosity got the better of me. "This is Meredith. Hi, Cristina."

"Hi," she said shortly. "Um, I just called to ask about the Latin homework."

"Oh, sure thing," I said. I rummaged through my backpack, looking for my planner. I figured someone like Cristina would be more organized than that.

"I usually write these things down," she said quickly, as if she had read my mind through the telephone. "It's just that I can't find my planner."

I nodded, but realized she couldn't see me over the phone. "I believe you. Mr. Pactor wanted us to read from page three to ten."

"Thanks, Meredith." A short pause ensued when we couldn't find anything else to say.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Cristina," I said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Bye." And we hung up on awkward terms. After thinking about the weird conversation, I decided to put it out of my mind and go back to my book. Cristina probably wasn't the kind of girl that dwelled on weird moments of the day. She probably also wasn't the kind of girl that would want me to talk about her moment of imperfection, so I decided not to even acknowledge it the next day.

As the next few weeks passed, I gradually settled into a routine at Seattle Grace. George and I would eat the homemade blueberry muffins Izzie brought with her in the mornings and we would go over our homework and study together for any quizzes and tests we had that day. With the exception of language, we were all taking the same classes. The rotating schedule got some taking used to, but eventually we realized that the order of the classes changed everyday. It was a little confusing the first week, but we eventually got the hang of it.

During the first week of school, Mrs. Byrum paired us up for a group project on whichever novel we chose to read over the summer. Alex Karev and I both read _Lord of the Flies_, so she paired us together.

We talked about the book for a little while, threw ideas back and forth, and started putting some of them on paper. After we were finished discussing the book, we started talking about ourselves.

"Yeah, I'm basically here on full scholarship," he informed me. "I just got really lucky on the entrance exams, though. I made it in the ninety-eighth percentile."

I gave a low whistle. "Impressive."

He nodded. "What about you?"

"My mom's an alum. And I scored in the ninety-sixth percentile, so I got a four thousand dollar scholarship."

"But you can afford to pay the rest can't you? The Nazi was telling us that if we were having any trouble with Biology that we should come and see you. She said you're mom's some hot shot surgeon."

I nodded, but didn't say much on the subject. My mother was a subject I generally avoided, even with Izzie and George.

Several moments of silence ensued after his statement. Then, he asked, "Hey, you know Izzie Stevens, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

He shrugged. "Does she have a boyfriend?"

I laughed. "No, but forget it, Alex. She's not looking for one."

He had the grace to look disheartened for a moment. Then he raised his eyebrows playfully and asked, "What about you?"

Derek Shepherd didn't bump into me anymore after that first day. Shortly after receiving some unwanted attention and publicity over our obvious acquaintance, I was soon informed that he had a girlfriend. Izzie pointed her out to me one day.

"Her name's Addison Montgomery," she told me. "She and Derek have been going out since sophomore year."

I couldn't help but be struck by how gorgeous she was. She was one of the few blessed with a curvy frame that actually made the horrible Seattle Grace plaid look fashionable. She also possessed long legs that went on forever, creamy ivory skin, beautiful bright green eyes and thick, shiny red hair. Her classic features and effortless elegance made her easily identifiable in a crowd, and whenever Derek and Addison were seen walking down the hall together, you couldn't help but realize that the two of them fit perfectly together. Like puzzle pieces.

"Don't worry, though," Izzie reassured me. "You are way prettier than she is."

I snorted. "Whatever. And besides, it doesn't matter. I don't even like him."

Izzie nodded like she understood something I didn't. "Uh-huh."

Things never changed between Cristina and me. She remained as much a know-it-all as ever, and I remained silent to her efforts to try and cut me down. She seemed to make it her mission to show me up in every class, and though I had to keep reminding her that in no way did I consider our respective scholastic performances a competition, she still stubbornly held onto the fact that I was her rival, and that I was bent on dethroning her from her position of intellectual superiority.

During the second week of school, Preston Burke returned to Seattle Grace. Apparently he had studied abroad junior year and came back to finish his education in the United States. His anticipated arrival caused a stir among the students, especially Derek and Mark's group. According to Izzie, the four of them (Derek, Mark, Addison, and Burke) were something equivalent to gods of the school. After a year of absence, Burke's return to his American friends was an event looked forward to with a great deal of enthusiasm.

"Mark and Derek are supposed to be throwing a huge welcome back party for him," Izzy told George and me one day during lunch. We were barely listening; instead we were absorbed in our game of Skittle hockey. So far, I was winning.

"Izzie, where do you learn all this stuff?" George asked in amazement. I took the opportunity to increase my lead. "Freshmen aren't supposed to know these things."

She smiled smugly and straightened her shoulders. "I have connections."

For the next few days, all anyone could talk about, (even the freshmen, who weren't invited) was Burke's homecoming party. Those who were invited lorded it over all the rest of us who weren't. A lot of the freshmen didn't really care, but Izzie was one of those few who still held onto the hope that she might be invited.

"Forget it, Izzie," George said exasperatedly after she expressed her hopes of being invited to the two of us for the millionth time. "You're a freshman. You're not getting invited to a _senior_ party."

"But _George_, we have connections!" she exclaimed. "Meredith _knows_ Derek and Mark! They have to invite her, and when they do, we'll just tag along."

George and I exchanged glances, but said nothing to Izzie. It was better for her to hold onto her delusional dreams and have them smashed by the realization that we weren't getting invited than for us to tell her so.

One day, Alex and I were in the library working on our _Lord of the Flies_ project when Mark Sloane came up to the two of us.

"Hey, Grey. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

I glanced at Alex, but he was only watching Mark in awe. "No, you're not."

He flashed a seductive smile. "Great. Well, as you've probably heard, Derek and I throwing this huge party for our friend. It's by invite only, and I'd really like for you to be there."

A blush fired up in my cheeks, but I tried to ignore it. "Um…I don't know…"

"Aw, come on Grey. What are you worried about?"

"Well, I wouldn't really know anyone there," I explained. "I mean, it's really nice of you guys to invite me, but I don't really know you or any of your friends."

"You can bring someone with you, if that'll make you feel better," Mark encouraged. "The party's going to be awesome, and it'd be a shame if you missed out."

Reluctantly, I nodded. "Okay. I'll be there."

Mark smiled again and wrote the address on the corner of my notebook. "That's where the party's going to be. It starts at seven this Saturday, so dress to impress. Oh, and to show that you're invited, you have to wear a gold star on your right hand. Remember, your right hand, okay?"

I nodded and with one last wave, he walked away.

When he was gone, Alex turned to me with a look of complete wonder on his face. "You know Mark Sloane? Well enough to get invited to the party of the _year_?"

I shrugged uncomfortably. "Not really. He just pushed Derek Shepherd into me on the first day. It wasn't that big a deal."

He let out a long breath. "Obviously not. You got invited to Burke's homecoming party! Freshmen don't get invited to senior parties."

"Look, let's just get back to our project. We have to present in two days," I reminded him. I didn't want him to know that the invitation was as disconcerting to me as it was to him.

"Fine, fine." We turned back to our books for a moment, and then he asked, "Hey, can I come with you?"

When I got home that day, I found my mother sitting at the kitchen table, silently sipping her cup of tea. "Hello, Meredith," she said pleasantly. "How was your day at school today?"

Surprised that she was in such a good mood, I told her. "It was good. I got a lot of work done for my English project." I paused for a little while, then added, "And I got invited to go to a party this weekend."

I expected her to say, no, but surprisingly, she smiled and said, "That's wonderful. When is it? Do you need to go shopping for something to wear?"

That was when I realized that there was something _severely_ wrong with this picture. My mother didn't offer to take me shopping for my own middle school graduation, much less a _party_. "Are you okay, mom?" I asked suspiciously.

"I'm fine," she reassured me. "I had a wonderful day, and it's good to hear that you're making friends. After you finish your homework, I can take you to the mall if you like."

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I think I have something to wear."

She smiled. "Okay. Tell me if you change your mind."

I nodded and made my way up the stairs to my room. My mother's temporary cheerfulness was incredibly unnerving, but I vowed not to think anymore about it. Instead, I needed to call Izzie and tell her about the invitation. I picked up the phone and dialed her number as quickly as I could.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey, Izzie, it's Meredith."

"Oh, hi Meredith. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing…" we chatted for a little while about inconsequential things. After a short silence, I told her, "Well, um, I called to tell you that I got invited to Burke's homecoming party."

There was a short pause before screams of, "OMIGOSH! I KNEW IT, I TOTALLY KNEW YOU'D GET INVITED!" The screaming continued on for several more moments and I had to hold the phone away from my ear to keep the use of my eardrums. When she finally stopped, she demanded that I tell her every single sordid little detail of my conversation with Mark Sloane and to leave nothing out.

When I got to the part when he said that I could take someone with me if it would make me feel more comfortable, Izzie squealed again, but for a shorter period of time. "You're taking me, right? That's why you called, Meredith, you have to take me!"

"Of course I'm taking you," I said exasperatedly. "George wouldn't want to go and I can't think of anyone else I could take."

After I finished the story, Izzie sighed in bliss. "Oh man! I can't believe I'm going to the party of the year! This is going to be so exciting! You have to come over and we can decide what we'll wear, and we'll do each other's hair and make up and everything! It'll be so much fun!"

"I dunno, Izzie," I began. "My mom might not…" I trailed off for a moment. If she was willing to let me go to the party today, who's to say that she wouldn't let me go over to a friend's house to get ready for it? "Hang on. Let me go ask her."

I ran down the stairs and poked my head into the kitchen. "Hey, Mom? Can I go over to my friend's house before the party to get ready?"

My mother looked up at me and smiled. "Sure. Will her parents give you a ride to the party, or do I need to?"

"Her parents can drive us."

"Okay then. I'll pick the two of you up then, and I'll drive her home. You can tell her parents that."

Surprised at my mother's agreeableness on the whole subject, I told her thank you and ran back up to my bedroom to tell Izzie the good news.

"Great," she exclaimed. "Okay, so I'll tell my parents. I'll see you tomorrow, Mer."

"Bye, Izzie."

The next day at school, it seemed like everyone found out that a freshman had been invited to Burke's homecoming party. They also knew that I was permitted to bring one person with me. Just as I had predicted, George didn't really care; he told us to have fun and to tell him all about it later, which we promised we would. Everyone else, though, was begging me to take them with me. Even Cristina Yang said something about it.

"So I heard you got invited to that big party some of the seniors are hosting," she said, trying and failing to be nonchalant. I nodded in reply and nothing else was said.

By the end of the day, I was fed up with all the offers, bribes and hopes from different people asking me to bring them with me. I just wanted Saturday to come as quickly as possible so it would be over with and I could be the invisible little freshman once again.

**A/N - This chapter was a little slow, but I had to put in a few details. The pace will definitely pick up next chapter, I promise. )**

**Several of you had questions about the pairings. I'm not going to tell you guys outright, because it makes the story that much better. I will, however, answer your questions/suggestions to the best of my abilities without giving anything away.**

**tylerhiltongrupie53 - Don't worry, I don't plan on adding anything that cliche. ) I do like your suggestions, but they're not exactly what I had in mind for this story.**

**greysaddict4life - I decided to make the attendings seniors and the interns freshmen because I wanted to keep that weird little age gap between them. I know it's kind of weird for freshmen and seniors to be dating and all, but the experience/age gap causes this really great tension. I think it adds dynamics to the respective charactes.**

**If you guys have any other questions/suggestions, please feel free to ask them in a review!**


	3. Party Hearty

**A/N - I was planning on posting this on Friday, but since it's Valentine's day...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!**

**Chapter 3**

Friday morning found me sitting on the bench in the secluded memorial garden. Hardly anyone came here, which was the exact reason I was there. I had to get away from all the people and all the attention.

"Now what's a girl as popular as you doing all alone in the memorial garden?" I heard someone ask. I looked up and found a heavyset custodian with hedge trimmers in his gloved hands.

"What makes you think I'm popular?" I asked. "I'm just a freshman."

"Seriously? Sweetie, I may just be a janitor, but I'm not stupid. I've watched everyone ask you about some big party some of the seniors are throwing and apparently you're the only freshman they invited. Your popularity levels have gone through the roof."

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Great. Just what I wanted."

He took the seat next to me and set the hedge trimmers on the grass next to him. "I personally don't get why you're complaining. I would have killed to get invited to at least one cool party in high school. People were too busy calling me a fag to invite me to anything. I'm Joe, by the way." He held out his hand, sans the glove and I shook it.

"I'm Meredith." After letting out a long breath, I told him, "I guess I should be grateful that I got invited, but I never wanted any of this. I don't like the attention."

Joe nodded. "That's understandable. So are you going or not?"

I shrugged. It seemed somewhat comical that I was telling him all of these things when I wouldn't even tell Izzie or George, but I had the feeling that he wouldn't tell anyone. He had one of those faces, the ones you knew you could trust. "I'm going, but only because my friend wants me to take her."

"Well I hope you have fun anyways. I'm vicariously reliving my high school years through you kids, you know."

I laughed. "I'll do it for you, Joe."

He smiled back. "Thanks."

The rest of the day didn't seem so bad after that. Everyone seemed to accept the fact that I was taking Izzie, so they stopped asking me about it. George was happier about this than I was, though; since he was friends with me, people thought he was a connection to the party. Needless to say, he was sick of the attention too.

"I am not your secretary!" he screamed one time at lunch. "If you get invited to another party in the future, Mer, I'll kill you."

Ever since I got invited to the party, things between Cristina and I were starting to get less tense. She called me twice more for the homework assignment and she actually answered me when I asked her a question in class. I wasn't sure if it was because she was picking up on my "popularity vibes" as Joe called them or something else, but it was nice not to be considered her enemy.

The night of the party, my mom dropped me off at Izzie's. "I'm coming to pick you girls up at twelve o'clock, okay? No exceptions." I nodded and told her thank you as she drove off. Her puzzlingly cheerful mood, though not as potent as the first day, managed to last throughout the week, leaving her disconcertingly agreeable.

Before I even rang the doorbell, Izzie threw open the door, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me in. "Finally! I need your opinion on what I should wear. Come with me to my room."

After making a brief introduction with her parents, she hauled me to her room and gestured to her bed. Neatly laid out were three separate outfits: one was a light pink sweater set with a darker pink and white pleated skirt, a white, long-sleeved button-down blouse with a vest and dark dress pants, and a turquoise colored top with a square neckline paired with a pair of skinny jeans.

"Which one should I wear? I can't decide!" she wailed hysterically.

"Calm down," I soothed. I looked at the outfits a little longer and started placing different tops with different bottoms. Mark said dress to impress, so I said, "Wear the dress pangs with the turquoise top."

She sighed in relief. "Thank you so much, Mer. I was freaking out there for a moment." Taking her clothes, she walked out of her room and down the hallway into what I assumed was the bathroom so she could change.

While she was gone, I took the opportunity to look around her room. She was meticulously clean, almost to a fault. Her bed was made with hospital corners; the items on her dresser were carefully arranged, all her jewelry in their boxes and all her makeup placed in order of application. The carpet looked freshly vacuumed, because the vacuum lines were still there. As I waited for her to come back from the bathroom, I decided to hang up her clothes. Luckily, I realized that her closet was color coordinated (by order of the rainbow) and managed to put her clothes away.

She came back from the bathroom looking amazing. "What do you think?" she asked as she twirled.

"You look really pretty," I said approvingly. "What about me?"

Izzie looked me up and down and gave me an I-don't-know-where-to-begin look. "Well, the color you chose is nice…"

"But…?" I prompted her. I'd rather she tell me straight up right then and there that I looked like crap before we left for the party only to have a million seniors there laugh at me.

"It's all wrong, Mer," she blurted out. "It's frumpy and…ugh, it just doesn't suit you." Without another word, she crossed the floor to her closet and pulled out a dress in the same shade of pink I had on. "Here, try this on and…" she pulled out a magenta/red bolero cardigan. "You're a little smaller than me, but it should still look fine. The bathroom's at the end of the hall on the left."

I held Izzie's selections in my outstretched arms. I wasn't really much of a dress girl, especially since this one was sparkly and form-fitting, but it was worth a shot. I didn't want to look horrible tonight.

I quickly slipped the skirt over my head, pulled the cardigan on and returned to her room with my clothes over my arms. "What about now?"

Izzie was at her mirror applying some eyeliner when she turned to look at me. "Seriously, Mer, that is so much better, I can't even _begin_ to explain."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. "It feels too low cut…and it's too sparkly," I added as I frowned at my reflection in Izzie's full length mirror.

"No, you look great. Do not even _consider_ changing."

"But this feels so much more formal than what you're wearing."

She snorted. "I make this _look_ like it's formal, Mer. Don't worry about it."

After she finished her makeup, she turned her beautifying skills on me. We had basically the same coloring, so a lot of her make up worked for me. By the time she was finished, she turned me to face the mirror and I couldn't help but gasp. "Wow, Izzie…" I murmured. "You're amazing."

She smirked. "I know."

She said my hair was perfect as it was, so she brushed through my curls a couple of times and she declared herself perfect. "Okay, we're hot and sexy. Let's go."

Izzie bounded down the stairs while I struggled for a little while. I wasn't quite as used to wearing heels as she was. After receiving a well meant lecture from both of Izzie's parents, we piled up into Mr. Stevens' car and he drove us to Derek's place.

After ten minutes, his house swam into view and took my breath away. He didn't live in a neighborhood, because his house was way too big. He lived in a mansion nestled in the forest on the edge of a lake complete with a long, circular driveway with a fountain in the middle, huge, old-fashioned, wrought iron lanterns, and balconies jutting out of the side.

Izzie grabbed my hand as Mr. Stevens pulled into the driveway. I squeezed her hand reassuringly, but inside I was just as nervous as she was. This party could quite possibly make or break our high school careers; it was only natural to be nervous.

"Okay, girls," Mr. Stevens said as he stopped the car. "Have fun, and remember what we told you."

We nodded hurriedly and slipped out of the car. As Mr. Stevens' car drove off, I pulled out a sheet of star stickers and stuck one on Izzie's right hand, then mine. "Ready?" I asked her. Her face was shining in nervous excitement and she seemed to glow in anticipation.

"Now or never."

With borrowed confidence, we strode up to the front doors of the house and flashed our starred hands to the security guard. He nodded and gestured for us to come in. The sight that greeted our eyes practically floored us.

Thousands of teenagers, dressed in nice clothes, were milling around the house sipping glasses of fizzy champagne and talking with each other. Mark spotted the two of us and smiled. "Hey, Grey! Over here!"

I took Izzie's hand and led her to where Mark, Derek, Addison, and a boy I had never met before stood. "Grey, I'd like you to meet Preston Burke, the man whose honor we are throwing this party."

Izzie and I smiled at him. He was a very tall, imposing man, but he currently wore a gentle smile. "Hello," we greeted as we shook his outstretched hand.

"It's nice to meet you," he informed us. "How do my friends know you?"

"We're freshmen at Seattle Grace," Izzie informed him.

"Yeah, Derek slammed Meredith against a locker on the first day," Addison teased as she playfully winked at me. "I heard all about it, and I would just like to apologize for my boyfriend's bad manners."

"It wasn't _deliberate_," Derek sighed exasperatedly. "And I wouldn't have slammed her against the locker if Mark wasn't pushing me."

"Hey, I'm not to blame for the second time," Mark pointed out with his hands raised in defense. "That was all on you, dude."

Burke raised his eyebrows but smiled. "I'm glad to see that nothing's changed since I left. What else has happened?"

Izzie and I listened as the old friends reminisced and discussed the latest gossip at Seattle Grace. In return, Burke regaled us with stories about France and we listened in fascination. Izzie and I asked questions every so often and he answered them with such affability and easiness, that our nervousness slowly ebbed away.

After they ran out of stories, Derek asked Addison to dance with him and she agreed. As they made their way to the ballroom, Burke asked Izzie and Mark asked me. After shooting each other loaded glances, we graciously accepted their hands and let them lead us to the ballroom.

"So how are you liking the party so far?" Mark asked as he took one hand in his and wrapped the other around my waist.

"It's a lot more different than I thought it would be," I confessed. "I thought it would be a booze fest with people spooning on the couches and making out and stuff."

Mark grimaced. "You've been watching too many teen flicks, Grey. Besides," he added with a wink. "Derek's parents are here. That's why it was invite only."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you risked inviting two naïve little freshmen?"

His hand tightened around my waist and he flashed me that same seductive smile as he did the first day of school. "It paid off, didn't it?"

My cheeks fired up again as I looked down. "Why are you paying so much attention, to me, Mark?" I asked him bluntly. Mark Sloane wasn't the kind of senior that would pay attention to a freshman.

"You intrigue me, Grey," he whispered softly in a way that made me shiver. "The first time I saw you, I knew you were different from any other girl I'd ever met."

I brought my gaze up and looked him straight in the eyes. "Do you really mean that? Because I get the impression that you've pulled that line on a lot of girls before."

His eyes were serious as he replied, "I mean it, Grey. That's why I invited you tonight, because you're special to me, and I want to know why."

The sincerity in his words couldn't be contested. I knew he meant them, and that should have made me happy…right?

I rested my head against his chest and tried to savor the moment. A million girls would kill for chance like this; I should be living it up.

I spent the rest of the night at Mark's side. He introduced me to his friends and we chatted about inconsequential things. Everyone took note of the fact that his hand rarely left the small of my back. When Izzie saw this, she raised her eyebrows at me and I widened my eyes back at her, as if to say, "Later."

Surprisingly enough, I had a good time. I didn't think I would, especially since I hardly knew anyone there, but Mark had a lot to do with it. Right before my mom came to pick us up, he asked me if he could call me sometime. I shyly consented and he gave me a warm hug before handing us in the car.

"Who was that?" my mother asked curiously as Mark walked away.

"That was Mark. He was the one who invited us."

My mother nodded and drove off. She asked us about the party all the way home; Izzy answered most of the questions. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to listen to the two of them.

When we got to Izzie's house, she gave me a big hug and thanked me again for taking her with me. "It was so much fun, Mer," she gushed. "Seriously, I can't thank you enough."

I smiled back. "Anytime. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded and I watched as she walked into her house.

The next morning, I called Izzie just as I promised and the first words out of her mouth were, "What is going on between you and Mark Sloane?"

I sighed. I had expected this, but that still didn't mean I had an answer. "I don't know," I confessed. "He told me last night that I was special to him, and he wanted to know why. That's why he invited me."

Izzie squealed. "Seriously? Omigosh, Mer! That is so awesome! He totally likes you!"

"Thank you," I said dryly. "Thank you, Izzie Stevens, for pointing that out to me. I never could have guessed."

"So how do _you_ feel about him?" she asked.

I paused for a moment. How _did_ I feel about him? Whenever he looked at me, I felt shy, but that's what all the movies and romance novels said I should feel like. And he was really nice, and he paid me a lot of compliments last night. If anything, I was truly touched by his kindness to Izzie and myself, since we didn't know anyone. Not to mention, he's one of the hottest guys in school.

"I like him," I told her. "He's so sweet and really thoughtful. How could I not?"

**A/N - Just because you _think _you know the shippage, doesn't mean that you really do. Please keep in mind people that we're only on chapter three, and I do believe this story is under the category of _drama_. **

**So now that we've got that squared away, let's play a game of Simon Says! Simon says...hit the review button and leave me a nice, long review!**


	4. I Don't Like My Mother

**A/N - OMIGOSH, YOU ALL SAW GREY'S LAST THURSDAY, RIGHT? AHH!**

**Haha, sorry. On with the story.**

**Chapter 4**

The Monday after the party found everyone talking about one of two things: Preston Burke's return, and Mark Sloane's obvious interest in me. It was then when I realized the truth of Izzie's words; Derek, Addison, Mark and Burke _were_ the gods of Seattle Grace, and everything revolved around the four of them.

On Burke's first official day back, countless people went up to greet him and whether he knew them or not, he greeted them back with a warm smile and a wave. It didn't take much to realize why he was so well liked.

Not many of the freshmen really cared about Preston Burke or my "relationship" with Mark Sloane, but the upperclassmen did and even some of the sophomores were interested. Several people I didn't even know stopped in the hallway to talk to me and ask me about Mark while I tried to muddle through the conversation as best as I could until Izzie or George would grab me by the hand and lead me to my next class.

Alex asked me about the party and I told him about it, leaving out the parts about Mark and me. It didn't matter because he asked, "So what's this I hear about you and Mark Sloane going out?" I blushed and replied that it wasn't any of his business, so he just smiled complacently and went back to his work.

For lunch that day, Mark sat with Izzie, George and me. I thought it would have been a little awkward, but it was more pleasant than I expected. He participated in our daily Skittle hockey match, and since we had an even number, we split up into teams. Luckily, Mark had quick reflexes and I had long fingers, making us the perfect team. We ended up winning seven to three. Before the lunch bell rang, he asked if his friends could sit at our table with us for lunch the next day. George didn't seem to mind and Izzie was more than ecstatic, so I told him yes.

During Geometry, Cristina took a big step in getting over her huge God complex—she told me she didn't understand something. Albeit, she was blushing the whole time and insisting she wasn't an idiot, but she said it nonetheless.

"I just…I just don't understand it," she blurted out. "I need help."

I was only too happy to help her if it meant that she wouldn't keep trying to show me up during class. I tried to explain it to her the best I could, but she still wasn't getting it. "Tell you what," I told her two minutes before the bell was set to go off. "Why don't you come and sit with me at lunch tomorrow and I'll help you out, okay?"

She flashed a very brief smile and nodded. "Okay." Then her expression turned from grateful to menacing in less than a second. "But if you tell anyone that I don't get this, so help me God—"

I laughed. "Don't worry about it, Cristina. I won't tell anyone, I promise." Satisfied with my response, she gathered her books and walked out of the classroom.

True to his promise, Mark called me on my cell phone that night. I was glad we were talking on the phone so he couldn't see me blush.

"So I called to ask if you wanted to go to the movies with me this weekend," he said very casually. "Just you and me, none of my pesky friends or anything."

I chuckled. "Your friends are nice, they're not pesky. You, on the other hand…" 

"Hey, I resent that."

The time I had spent with him got me to loosen up. I wasn't so shy around him anymore, which was a good thing, especially if we were going to start doing this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

"So whaddya say, Grey?"

I thought about it for a little while. "Sure, Mark. I'd love to go to the movies with you."

I could practically hear him smile on the other end of the phone. "Awesome. I'll pick you up. How does the four fifteen showing of _Music and Lyrics_ sound?"

"Sounds great. I can't wait."

"Neither can I." We said a few more goodbyes, and then finally hung up.

I was supposed to melt when he said that, right? Well then how come I didn't?

* * *

"Wait, you invited dark and twisty girl to sit with us?" Izzie asked incredulously. "Seriously?" 

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I invited _Cristina_ to sit with us. And you know, she's really not that bad, once you get to know her."

"But you haven't," George reminded me, in more disbelief than Izzie. "She told me to shove my head up my ass when I asked her what page we were supposed to be on in Geography."

"Well then maybe you should have been paying attention," I chided lightly. Instead they stared at me doubtfully. "Look," I began in exasperation. "She won't talk to you guys, okay? She'll only talk to me."

"Mer, you seem to be forgetting that _Mark_ and his _friends_ are coming to eat with us today too," Izzie reminded me. "Do you _really_ want dark and twisty girl to be associating with them, especially since Mark is _this close_," she placed her finger and her thumb and inch apart, "to asking you out?"

"Oh, about that," I said, grateful for the easy opening she gave me. "He asked me to the movies last night and I told him yes."

This successfully distracted them from my asking Cristina Yang to eat with us. Both their eyes widened until their eyeballs threatened to pop out of their sockets. "Seriously?" Izzie shrieked. "He asked you to go out with him?"

"He asked me to a movie, not to 'go out'," I clarified. "There's a difference."

"Oh, but Mer, it always starts with a movie," Izzie explained giddily. "Then it turns into a dinner, then it turns into dating, then he proposes, and then you get married and then you live together forever!"

This startled George. "Seriously?" he asked in fright.

But Izzie wasn't paying attention to him. "Omigosh, Meredith, this is so exciting!"

Luckily, the bell rang before she could gush on about it any further.

Since it was a Tuesday, I had Geometry before lunch, giving me a chance to talk to Cristina beforehand. "So, you're still going to sit with us, right?"

She looked up with a strange expression on her face. "Look, if it's weird for you or your friends, I get it. You don't have to beat around the bush or anything, you just need to be a bitch and tell me that you don't want me there, okay?"

I glared at her. Why did everyone choose today to of all days to be difficult? "Would you stop being so defensive? I want you to be there, so chill out." I took a deep breath. "You just can't be a bitch to my friends, okay? They're already scared of you."

I could've sworn she almost smiled. "Fine," she muttered as she rolled her eyes.

After Geometry, I took Cristina with me to my locker so I could grab my lunch, then doubled back to the commons. Izzie and George were already sitting at our usual table, watching Cristina warily. "Hey guys," I said, ignoring the looks they were shooting me. "You already know Cristina, right?"

"Yeah," George said, trying to be nice. "You're in my Geography class, aren't you?"

"Uh, yeah," Cristina said uncomfortably. "I hope you guys don't mind or anything."

"No, we don't," Izzie replied cautiously. I let out a sigh of breath that I didn't know I'd been holding in. Now that I knew that both sides were going to attempt to be nice, I sat down and pulled out my Geometry book.

As I was explaining some of the proofs from last night to Cristina, Mark and his friends approached. "Hey, Grey," he said with a brilliant smile.

I smiled back. "Hey, Mark. Pull up a seat." I gestured to the girl sitting next to me. "This is Cristina Yang, by the way."

He turned his smile to her. "Nice to meet you. These are my friends, Derek, Addison, and Burke."

She nodded and gave that weird little awkward smile (you know the one, where you tuck your lips in and pull at the corners) and looked back down at her Geometry homework.

As I was explaining the concepts to Cristina, the others managed to get on a debate about euthanasia. After a while, I could tell Cristina wasn't paying attention anymore, and was instead focused on the senior sitting directly across from her.

"Under no circumstances is euthanasia an acceptable choice," Burke argued. "Everyone deserves the chance to life, even if the chances of recovery are slim."

"So are you saying that a vegetable shouldn't be taken off of life support?" Cristina asked incredulously. "Even if it was costing a lot of money to keep this person alive when it could be spent on something else more practical?"

He stared at Cristina in equal surprise. "When we start replacing our human compassion with practicality, we start losing our humanity all together."

"What if that person was suffering?" Cristina challenged. "What if that person was suffering, and you were only increasing their suffering by keeping them alive?"

"What if they recovered?" he contested.

"The chances are slim to none of a person recovering from being a vegetable. I'm pretty sure it's never happened before."

"But the chance is still there."

She snorted. "It would take more than anything medicine has to offer. Only God can do something like that, and last time I checked, he hasn't picked up a scalpel lately."

"Some people still have their faith."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well more power to them." She turned her eyes back to her Geometry work, but Burke wasn't going to leave it at that.

"What if it was your mother?" he asked. "What if your mother was lying in a vegetative state with little to no chance of ever recovering. What would you do?"

"I don't like my mother," she replied simply.

Burke tried again. "Okay then, what if it was your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend."

They stared at each other a little while longer until Cristina returned back to our Geometry work, but I could see a small hint of a smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

After lunch ended, Mark walked me to my locker. "That was weird."

"Yeah," I replied with a smile. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. Cristina's kind of abrasive…and yeah. She doesn't do well around people."

He laughed and pecked me on the cheek. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" And before I could ask him what that was all about, he ran off to class.

"Did McSteamy just kiss you on the cheek?" Cristina asked curiously as I walked into the classroom.

"What?" I asked in bewilderment, in part of the kiss and also in part of the weird nickname. "Did you just call Mark McSteamy?"

"Yeah," she replied. "And Derek's McDreamy. Fits, doesn't it?"

She had a point.

* * *

My mother had returned to her usual self after the first frightening week. I couldn't quite tell if I was more relieved or disappointed. 

"How was school?" she asked briskly as I walked into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Fine," I replied. This, as any adolescent would know, is the standard teenage response. However, the standard teenage response was not good enough for my mother.

"Just fine?" she asked with raised eyebrows. "I'm paying six thousand dollars a year and your days are just 'fine'?"

I sighed. "Alex and I presented our English project today," I began dully. "Mrs. Byrum said it was very well researched and she liked it. I asked her what we got on it, but she said she'll hand back the presentation report after she was finished grading everyone else's. Mrs. Rodriguez handed our Geometry quizzes back today and I was one of the only two in the class that got a hundred on it, and Dr. Bailey told us that were going to start dissections next week."

My mother, apparently satisfied, went back to her tea and newspaper. "Good."

I ran up the stairs to my bedroom and sighed. The relationship between my mother and me had always been complicated. Ever since my father left, she had grown colder, more distant. Even though I was five at the time, I could still sense the difference. I remembered she yelled at him a lot, and I used to think it was my fault he left, and that maybe if I was a better daughter and listened to my mommy more he would come back and visit. He never came back, but some part of me still hoped deep down that he would come back.

Wiping away the thoughts of my less than satisfactory parents, I focused on the kiss Mark gave me before he ran off to class. Could a peck on the cheek be considered a first kiss? Was it even considered a kiss? This was the sort of thing Izzie would know, but she said she wouldn't be home until six o'clock that night because she had volleyball practice or something athletic. I couldn't really talk about it with George because George was a boy. I thought maybe Addison might sympathize, but I didn't know her that well. The only person who I could possibly turn to was Cristina, and since things were starting to get a little friendly between the two of us, I decided to give it a shot. Besides, she owed me.

After searching the school directory for her number, I picked up my phone and dialed. It rang three times before someone picked up. "Hello?"

"Um, hello. This is Meredith Grey; may I please speak with Cristina?"

"Are you her friend?" the voice on the other end asked suspiciously.

"Yes…?" I trailed off. I wasn't sure if Cristina would like that.

"Oh, wonderful! I'll go get her!" I heard shuffling and then a cry of, "CRISTINA! YOUR FRIEND MEREDITH IS ON THE PHONE! SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!"

Then I heard huge thumping noises, as if someone was pounding down a set of stairs. "Hello?" a grumpy voice asked on the other end of the phone.

"Um, hi, Cristina…" I trailed off. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Hi, Meredith. Hold on," she told me. I could hear her running up the stairs and then a door slam. "What do you need?"

"Well…I was hoping we could just talk."

"Talk?" she asked incredulously. "Seriously? You want to talk to me?" She thought about it for a little while, then said, "Okay. But in no way does this mean I'm going to let you copy my homework or cheat on tests and quizzes when you forget to study."

I chuckled. "No problem."

**A/N - Many of you were so adamant against the possibility of this story being MerMark! Haha, well if you read carefully, I gave a little hint. I'm sure most of you will get it ;)**

**CSI3Lyra - Omigosh, Mama Grey? That made me laugh for five minutes straight. And you might be right ;) You never know. And I'm totally happy that you noticed Joe! I was so proud of msyelf, you know, making Joe a janitor and all and I was _so_ hoping that someone would comment on it...but they didn't. Congrats for you! And I really appreciate the cookies by the way, therefore you get a fortune cookie in return! Yay.**

**Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! Please keep it up!**


	5. Accidental Double Date

**Chapter 5**

The week flew by quickly. Before I knew it, Cristina and Izzie were both over at my house, helping me get ready for my movie date with Mark. Luckily, my mother was on one of her thirty hour shifts at the hospital, so she didn't know about my date or the fact that my friends were here.

It was strange. I never would have thought Cristina and Izzie would be friends and there were moments when certainly they didn't act like it, but you could tell that Izzie admired Cristina's boldness and Cristina respected Izzie's compassion.

"What about this?" Cristina asked as she pulled out a blue long-sleeved, v-neck shirt. "You just wear this and a pair of jeans. Put your hair up." It was obvious that she was a little uncomfortable about all of this, but she was trying.

Izzie shook her head in disgust. "No, that's way too casual," she said as she pulled out a halter top and a denim mini-skirt. "You should wear this."

I looked at the outfit in horror. "There is no way I am wearing that. Those don't even belong to me!"

"So?" Izzie asked innocently. "They're mine, but you should wear them. They're better than the clothes you have here anyways."

"Hey!" I protested indignantly.

"Uh, I know you mean well _Barbie_," Cristina spat in a withering tone, "but news flash: Mer doesn't have any boobs to pull that off."

"Hey!"

"That's what _tissues_ are for," Izzie shot back while rolling her eyes, as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

"I am _not_ stuffing my bra," I declared firmly. "And I happen to think that Cristina has a good point. I like what she chose, so that is what I will wear."

Izzie rolled her eyes again. "Fine, whatever you say."

After I changed, Cristina put my hair up while Izzie did my makeup. They were doing the last touches when the doorbell rang.

"Omigosh!" Izzie cried out in excitement. She nearly poked my eye out, she was so excited. "Omigosh that's him! He's here!"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Thank you, thank you so much for that. We never would have guessed." After adding one more hair pin, she grabbed Izzie and rushed out of my room.

While Izzie and Cristina were downstairs greeting Mark, I was in my room, gathering my things and putting them in my purse. I tried to calm myself down for several moments when I realized…I was already calm. When I was ready to leave my room, I walked to the top of my staircase and (after counting ten seconds in my head like Izzie taught me) began my slow descent.

Mark must have heard me because the moment I climbed down my first step, he looked up and gave me that debonair smile. "Wow, Mer. You look really great."

I smiled back at him. "Thank you."

Cristina and Izzie looked back and forth between the two of us, miniscule grins playing on their lips. "Well we're gonna go. You two have a good time, okay?" Izzie said as the two of them slipped out of the house.

When they were gone, Mark turned back to me and offered his hand in a very gentlemanlike fashion. "Are we ready to leave?"

I nodded and tucked my small hand into his wide, strong one. "Yes sir."

I wasn't completely sure of what to expect on our date. George told me stories that his older brothers told him and I've seen enough awkward teenage movies to know what usually happens in a darkened theater. I also knew myself well enough to know that I was _not_ ready for that stage.

And Mark, being the sweet guy that he was, expected nothing from me. Instead he held my hand and let my arm take up most of the armrest space. He even paid for my ticket and my Dr. Pepper. I caught him watching me out of the corner of his eye every so often, to see if I was laughing at the same parts he thought was funny. He seemed so eager to please, to make sure that my needs and preferences were accommodated, that I smiled back at him every time I caught him staring at me. It was sweet.

"So," Mark began as we walked out of the movie theater. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

I grinned at him. "If you thought it was going to be so terrible, then why did you suggest it?"

"Because everyone knows that romantic comedies are the best first date movies."

"Oh really?" I asked playfully. The flirting thing was starting to get easier. "How do you figure that?"

"Common knowledge," he replied simply. "Hey, can you stay out a little longer and eat dinner with me, or will your friends miss you?"

My rumbling stomach answered for me. "Dinner it is then," he said with a big grin. "I know the perfect place too."

We got into his car and in less than four minutes, we were pulling into the parking lot of a retro fifties diner. The rotating sign sticking out of the ceiling read Eddie's Eats with a picture of a grinning face outlined in hot pink neon. Waitresses ventured out into the already dark lot on roller skates, balancing trays of burgers and milkshakes in their arms. The interior reminded me of _Happy Days_ and _Grease_ with sparkling red leather covering the barstools and gleaming, sea foam green countertops and cozy booths tucked next to the huge windows. The tile was a black and white checkered pattern, and an old-fashioned jukebox blared Elvis music to the nostalgic patrons.

"Wow…" I sighed in awe as our waitress led us to a booth in the corner. "This place is amazing."

"Just wait 'til you taste the food," Mark told me, the excitement of pleasing me written all over his face. "The burgers are probably a thousand calories per bite, but they're the best on the west coast."

I laughed delightedly as our waitress handed us our menus. "I can't wait."

Mark, being a regular, knew what he wanted, but he gave me time to look over my menu. I examined the pictures of the food and read the descriptions, feeling the emptiness in my stomach slowly deepen. I was starving by the time I read through everything and I still couldn't decide.

Our waitress, clad in saddle oxfords and a sky blue poodle skirt walked up to our table with her little notepad and pencil. "Hi, my name is Alexis and I'll be your waitress for this evening. Are you ready to order?"

"Mark!" someone shouted from the entrance of the restaurant. We turned around to find the source of the noise and saw Derek and Addison approaching our booth. Mark looked annoyed. "Hey, I didn't know you were going to be here! Why are you sitting at a booth alone?"

I cleared my throat and Derek jumped while Addison snickered. "Oh," he said when he saw me. "Ooohhh," he dragged out when he realized why we were here.

"Why don't you sit with us?" I asked politely, since Mark was obviously unwilling to issue the invitation.

"Really?" Addison asked carefully. "You wouldn't mind?"

Mark and I exchanged a look. I could tell he was upset, but I gave him a soothing smile and replied, "Not at all. The more the merrier." The waitress went off to retrieve more menus when she realized our party was growing.

Derek shot me a grin and all of a sudden I found it harder to breathe. "Thanks." He took the empty seat next to Mark and Addison sat next to me.

"So where did you guys come from?" Mark asked, a good deal more dejected in demeanor than he was a few moments ago.

"Matt Busch's party," Addison replied as she elegantly swept her beautiful red hair behind her shoulder. "I didn't really feel like going, but Derek insisted we put in an appearance."

"Uh, correction," Derek protested. "_You_ were the one who wanted to go, not me. I just wanted to go out to dinner or something." Then he turned to Mark. "Where did you guys come from?"

"A movie," Mark replied shortly.

"Oh really?" Addison asked. "Which one did you see?"

"_Music and Lyrics_," I replied. She turned to me with a grin.

"Oh, I wanted to see that movie! I fell in love with Hugh Grant after I saw _Sense and Sensibility_." She turned to Derek. "Let's go see it tomorrow."

"Was it any good?" he asked his friend.

"It wasn't half bad," Mark admitted. He turned and smiled at me. "Grey enjoyed it."

I shyly smiled back into his smoldering gaze. I was slowly adjusting to flirting with him when we were alone, but being coy in public was going to take some getting used to.

Addison grinned at the two of us. She was about to say something, but the waitress came back. After we placed our orders, Addison declared that she needed to go powder her nose. "Why don't you come with me, Meredith?"

"Oh, um, sure I guess," I replied uncertainly. She climbed out of the seat first and led the way to the woman's restroom.

As soon as the door swung shut behind us, she turned to me with a wide grin. "So, you and Mark, huh?"

I shrugged uncomfortably. Talking about Mark and myself was different with my friends, but I hardly knew Addison.

"Oh come on, you can tell me, Meredith," she coaxed as she pulled a dainty little compact mirror from her purse. "Are you two going out?"

I shrugged again. "I don't know. We never talked about it. Our first date was tonight."

She sighed contentedly. "Oh, first dates…I remember my first date with Derek. I was so nervous." She finished patting her nose and turned to me. "He was the most popular guy in school, and he decided to ask _me_ out!" A dreamy, reminiscent look passed over her face. "I was so excited, I can't even begin to tell you."

I nodded. "That's kind of how I feel," I confessed, "except a whole lot shier."

"It's only natural. You're supposed to feel anxiety for the first date."

"Were you nervous on your first date with Derek?"

She snorted. "Nervous? I was petrified." She caught my look of skepticism and laughed. "Oh Meredith, before Derek and I started dating, I was a social nobody. I didn't have any friends and I ate my lunches in the bathroom. Derek was my first real high school friend."

I watched her as she reapplied her lipstick. I couldn't imagine someone as beautiful and friendly as Addison Montgomery being friendless at all. She gave off that air of supreme confidence, as if absolutely nothing could faze her. It was startling to realize that she could be so human.

"Just for the record," she said as she put her makeup away, "I've never seen Mark act like this around another girl before, much less a _freshman_. Don't get me wrong," she said quickly when she spotted the redness on my cheeks, "I have nothing against him going out with a freshman or anything. It's just really weird to see. He doesn't pay attention to anyone younger than him by a year, and when he does it's usually on a bet or a dare or something. I've never seen him so considerate with anyone before."

We emerged from the bathroom, she with a freshly applied face, and me with a bright blush blanketing my cheeks. Mark raised his eyebrows at me, as if to ask me what was wrong. Instead I gave him the warmest smile I could. It never really struck me until my conversation with Addison how special it was to be Mark Sloane's favorite.

"What were you girls talking about in there?" Derek asked curiously.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Addison taunted. I chuckled and immediately felt proud. Not many freshmen at Seattle Grace could boast about having a private conversation with Addison Montgomery.

"Yes, I would like to know," Mark said, the merest hint of a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "I'd especially like to know what has Grey turning so red."

I blushed even harder but stuck my tongue out at him. "I don't turn red," I declared, trying to salvage what little dignity I had left. "I turn pink."

"Whatever color it is," Mark said with a wink. "It's cute."

At that point, our food came. I ordered a cheeseburger because Mark said they were so good, and when I saw it, I started salivating. The burger itself was bigger than my head and was dripping juice that would probably skin twenty years off my life expectancy…but at that point I just didn't care.

"I'm probably going to feel really guilty about this tomorrow when I step on my scale," I said aloud as I sliced the burger in half, so the eating process would be less overwhelming.

Derek gave me a look. "Oh my gosh. What is it with girls thinking they're dramatically overweight or something? You're skin and bones, Mer."

My heart skipped a beat when he used my nickname, but I tried not to let it get to me.

"Yeah, really Meredith," Addison agreed. "If anyone here at this table could use the nutrition, it's you. I, on the other hand…"

Derek and Mark groaned as I reassured Addison that in no way, shape, or form could she be considered fat or overweight. "Seriously, Addison, you're just curvy. A lot of girls I know would kill for those curves."

The burger turned out to be just as delicious as Mark promised and then some. The moment I bit into it, I felt the juices dribbling down my chin and I knew that I found heaven. When I finally finished the burger, Mark insisted that I order one of the milkshakes.

"No really, Mark, I'm so full I think I might burst."

"But you have to try the milkshakes on your first trip," he argued. "It's a must." And before I could protest any further, Mark ordered a chocolate milkshake and we split it between the two of us. I blushed the entire time and I felt Addison nudging me gently in the side with her elbow.

After the meal was over, we parted from each other's company with warm goodbyes and promises to call one another. On the ride home, Mark apologized for the interruption of our date, but I told him I didn't mind. I had a pleasant time, after all. When we reached my front door, he took my hands in his and smiled into my eyes. "I was wondering, Grey…if it's not too weird or anything, I'd really like for you to be my girlfriend."

I pretended to think for a minute. "Would me agreeing to be your girlfriend mean that I get to share more milkshakes with you?"

He grinned as he brought his face closer to mine and our foreheads touched. "You bet." And with that, he bent his head until our lips met.

**A/N - I left more hints. I hope you guys will pick up on them.**

**Please review!**


	6. Be Careful

**Chapter 6**

"So lemme get this straight," Izzie said slowly. "He asked you to be his girlfriend, you said yes, and then you kissed."

"Yes," I confirmed.

"Niiice," she commented, drawing out her syllables. "How was the kiss?"

I paused to think about my answer. How was the kiss, really? "It was nice," I replied carefully. And in all honesty, it was. His lips were soft and still tasted like chocolate from the milkshake we shared. He held me carefully and gently, as if I was something precious, something that could easily be shattered.

"Just nice?" she groaned. "Come on, Mer, you're leaving me out in the cold. Give me more details than that, God."

I laughed. "There's not much to say. I can't really describe it that well."

"Fine," she huffed. "What else happened on your date?"

"The movie part was really nice. And then we went to dinner at a restaurant called Eddie's Eats. It's a really cool, retro style fifties diner. The burgers there are huge."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, anything else?" she urged impatiently.

"Um, Addison and Derek showed up while we were there," I added, somewhat of an afterthought. "I invited them to sit with us, so it kind of turned into a double date."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you invited McDreamy and McWife to sit with you two in the middle of your date? God, Mer, you don't _do_ that."

"McWife?" I asked in confusion. "Where did you get that?"

"Cristina came up with it because they're attached at the hip and it stuck. But that's not the point," she continued. "You invited the two of them to sit with you guys on your date. On your _first_ date. That's just not done."

"I didn't want to be rude or anything," I protested. "And besides, it was nice. Addison and I went to the bathroom to powder our noses or whatever and we just talked about boys and high school and stuff. She's really sweet."

"Whether or not McWife is nice is not the point. The point is that Mark wanted a private day with you and you invite his best friend and his girlfriend. How did he feel about the whole thing?"

"He looked kind of disappointed, but he didn't really say anything."

Izzie shook her head in disbelief. "God, Mer, you're so weird."

For the next week, I don't think my blush subsided once. By the time Monday rolled around, everyone seemed to know that Mark and I were going out, and those who didn't know were clued in by the fact that he accompanied me to all my classes and held my hand as we walked down the hall.

Lunch was always an interesting affair. When Burke and Cristina weren't arguing about some new political issue, Izzie was throwing food at George, or Derek and Addison were arguing playfully. Mark and I watched our friends in amusement as he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

By Thursday, the constant gossip following wherever I went was starting to get annoying. I showed up to school early that day and sat in the memorial garden again. Not long after, Joe accompanied me again and I let all my frustrations off my chest while he listened sympathetically.

"And Izzie won't leave me alone about inviting Addison and Derek to eat with us," I exploded as an afterthought. "I mean, I know in hindsight, I shouldn't have done it, but come on! I was just trying to be nice!"

Joe nodded. "I understand the feeling. You were in an awkward place, but I have to wonder: did you really invite them to sit with you to be nice, or for another reason?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, think about it; if you were having such a great time, then wouldn't you want some alone time with Mark too? Are you sure you weren't feeling the slightest bit weird or something, and you invited them to sort of dispel the awkwardness?"

"No," I said automatically. But a corner in my heart tugged at me, doubted my words.

Joe just watched me and nodded like he knew better. "Okay. Well, just making sure. If you ask me, the two of you are really cute together."

Everyone said that, and I was close to believing it.

* * *

"Okay," George trailed off, glancing down at the manual. "Where do we start the incision?" 

"We cut the skin this way," I said, drawing a line down the frog's torso with my gloved finger. "Then we cut across underneath his throat and another cut parallel to that right above his hip."

He nodded and handed me the scalpel. "You do it. You're the surgeon's daughter."

I sighed and took the scalpel from him. "You know, just because my mother's a surgeon doesn't mean that I'm good with this," I said as I made the incisions. "I've never even touched a scalpel before this."

"Well you're doing a pretty damn good job from what I can tell," Dr. Bailey said. She was making her way around the room, watching the pairs dissect their respective frogs. "Some have already managed to mutilate their frogs' organs, just from making the first incision. Good job, Grey."

When she left, George roughly shook my shoulder. "George, don't do that!" I almost shouted. "I have something sharp and pointy in my hand, I could hurt you."

"Sorry," he whispered excitedly. "Bailey just complimented you! Man, I'm so glad I paired up with you, this is gonna be the easiest A I've ever gotten!"

I continued to dissect our frog while George just hovered around my shoulder and pointed out various, random organs. I hardly listened to him, because I was lost in a separate world. I was stuck in a part of my mind that was difficult to get out of; I was completely absorbed in fascination. My movements were purposeful, and my mind was clear. Nothing could interrupt this moment.

"Hello? Mer? Mer! Earth to Meredith!" George waved his arm in front of my eyes. I started, and stared at him.

"What?"

He grinned. "Dude, you were like, on another planet. Are you sure you've never cut up dead frogs before? Because there was a weird sort of gleam or something in your eye…"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, George. What comes next?"

* * *

When I got home, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her tea and reading the paper. "How was your day?" she asked briskly. 

"Good," I replied vaguely. "We dissected a frog in biology today."

She hummed her acknowledgement and went back to her newspaper.

I hesitated for a moment. My mother and I never really had anything in common that we could talk about it. The hours she spent in the hospital meant I was raised by a variety of passing, acne-ridden teenagers and whatever happened to be on the television that night. We were so different, that I gave up on finding something in common with her. Well, now I found something. I found a strange fascination and fondness for dissections, and I wanted to know if she felt the same way I did today whenever she was in the operating room.

"Mom?" I asked tentatively. "Did you ever dissect a frog?"

She snorted. "Of course, Meredith. I'm a surgeon, what do you expect?" She glanced up from her paper and took a long sip from her tea. "Why do you ask?"

I took a deep breath. "Well, today, when we were dissecting, I felt this strange sort of…trance. Like I was all alone in a roomful of people, and it was just me and the frog. It was fascinating and mesmerizing and…it was incredible. Is that what surgery is like?"

She set down her newspaper and gave me the coldest glare in the world. I immediately regretted her asking.

"No, Meredith, that is _not_ what surgery is like," she nearly spat. "Surgery is a constant adrenaline rush, a hustle to remember what they taught you in medical school and a race with time. Every moment of everyday is spent trying to find new ways of saving a patient efficiently, effectively, and before their heart gives up. It doesn't matter how exhausted or how tired you are; their life is in your hands."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"Honestly, Meredith, where do you come up with things like that?" she all but screamed. "'Surgery as a trance'? That's ridiculous! Think rationally for once! Think beyond your damn feelings and examine a situation logically! You'll never be successful if you continue to think with your heart instead of your head!"

The tears began to well up in the back of my eyes, but I refused to cry in front of my mother. "Okay. I was just wondering." And before I burst into tears, I ran up the stairs, into my bedroom and threw myself onto my bed. The tears fell before I even hit the pillows.

* * *

"So I heard you completely zoned out in the middle of Biology," Mark teased me playfully the next day. The scene between my mother and me was still a fresh wound, but I tried not to let it show. 

"Yeah," I replied with a weak chuckle. "I guess I shouldn't be a surgeon then, huh? Me zoning out with sharp objects in my hands…"

Mark laughed and kissed my cheek. "Potentially dangerous."

I chuckled and turned my head to kiss him back.

We were truly inseparable for the first two weeks of our relationship. He ate lunch with me, I met him at his locker between classes, and he walked me everywhere I went. When I asked him if he was ever late to class, he laughed and said he could charm his way out of punishment if he tried hard enough. Then he flashed me one of his patented "McSteamy smiles" (named by Cristina) and I believed him wholeheartedly.

Everyone seemed really happy about our relationship, especially Addison.

"I've never seen him this happy, Mer," she told me enthusiastically at lunch while the boys were still in the lunch line. "Seriously, you're probably the best thing that's ever happened to him."

Derek, on the other hand, was a little more wary. We were sitting on a bench alone one day after school; he was waiting for Addison because she had a club meeting or something, and I was waiting for Mark because he had football practice.

"So…" he trailed off, unsure of where to start. "You and Mark, huh?"

I nodded. What did he want me to say?

He watched me thoughtfully with those same blue eyes that scared me on my first day of school. "I've never seen him like someone as much as he likes you."

I blushed and looked down. Somehow it was different when Derek said it; it made me feel strange and a little disappointed for some reason.

"Be careful with him, okay?" he warned me. "He likes you a lot, and you're different than the other girls he's dated. I think you two will last."

The last part sounded uncertain…as if he was trying to convince himself instead of just making a statement.

"I will," I promised. "I like him a lot too."

"Good," he nodded. "Good."

We were remained silent until Mark showed up, sweaty and smiling. "Hey, Derek. Hey Grey." And he flashed me that special smile he reserved just for me. I got off the bench and wrapped my arm around his waist as he did the same. "What are you still doing here, dude?"

"Waiting for Addison," he replied, watching the two of us with scrutiny. I tightened my grip around Mark's waist and he looked down at me with another smile.

"Okay. See you tomorrow then," and without another word, he whipped me around and took me to his car to give me a ride home.

"You don't need to do that," I told him. "You know I don't live that far away."

"But I want to," he informed me as he opened the passenger door to his red Jetta. "And you're my girlfriend. It's my duty as a boyfriend to act as the chauffeur."

I grinned at him. "Okay. Just this once."

* * *

"Hey, Mer?" 

"Yeah, Cristina?"

She hesitated before continuing. "We're friends, right?"

"That is an acceptable term for what we are, yes," I replied. "Why? Do you want to tell me something?"

"Sort of."

I waited for a little while. When she didn't say anything, I prompted, "Well? What is it you want to tell me?"

"Hold on," she snapped back. "I'm trying to figure out how to say it." I heard her take a deep breath over the phone.

"Are you planning on telling me sometime this year?"

"Mer, quit pressuring me! This is weird okay? I'm doing the best I can." She took a few more breaths, attempting to steady herself. It sounded like she was getting ready to do some yoga or something.

"Okay," she began carefully. "You know Preston Burke?"

"Oh, you mean the tall, imposing black man we sit with during lunch? The one you always seem to get in a fight with? Yes, I know him."

"Quit being a smart ass," she growled. Then she took another breath. "Okay. What I'm about to tell you cannot leave this conversation, okay? You can't tell anyone: not Mark, not Izzie, not George, _no one_."

"Okay…" I trailed off. Why was she making such a big deal about this?

"Alright," one more breath, "I like Burke."

The silence helped her words to sink in. When I finally understood that she was serious and she wasn't joking, I burst out into laughter. "It's not funny!" she wailed on the other end, but I could hear the snickers in her voice. In all reality, it was really funny; I mean, come on: Cristina and Burke together? Seriously? Not in a million years.

**A/N - So I just thought I'd let you guys know (for those of you who don't check my profile) that I've actually finished writing this story. This story is twenty-one chapters, each six pages long on Microsoft Word with a four page Epilogue. But I go through a really thorough editing process (which doesn't make any sense 'cause I end up finding more errors after I update anyways) so I'll probably only be posting this story every week. Most likely Wednesday mornings. Just to give you guys a heads up. Maybe sooner if I'm in a good mood...or if you guys review a lot. -hint-hint-**

**AFan17 - Yay! You got them all! You get a snickerdoodle!**

**Francis - I actually did think about doing that, but then I thought it was a little too _She's All That_ for my taste. So no, there is no bet.**

**Cupido - When you said that, I thought, ohmigosh! Doctor references in the chapter six! And I was excited.**

**CSI3Lyra - Haha...well I didn't want to be too subtle. I guess they were too obvious then. Oh well. And don't worry, there will be no "stealing". There's sooo much more than stealing, but I can't say anything more than that. So you'll just have to wait. Oh, and thanks for the chocolate cake. :) You get a snickerdoodle.**


	7. Fine

**A/N - In honor of spring break, I decided to forego the arduous editing process and put this up. WHOO HOO, IT'S SPRING BREAK!**

**Chapter 7**

"So you are never going to guess what Burke told me last night," Mark declared as he walked me to my locker before school started.

"What?" I asked.

He grinned mischievously. "Apparently, he likes Cristina."

I choked on the laughter I struggled to contain. "Seriously?"

He chuckled. "Seriously."

"Oh my gosh, that's so weird…Cristina told me she liked him."

We stared at each other, then started laughing uncontrollably. It took us five minutes to calm down a little, but we couldn't look at each other afterwards, or else we would have burst into more uncontainable laughter.

"You know what this means, right?" he asked me.

I nodded. "We have to get them together. But how?"

He winked and kissed me on the cheek before the bell rang. "Leave it to me. I'll take care of it."

* * *

"So, girls," Addison greeted us as she sat down at the table. As usual, the boys were waiting in the long lunch line. "Have you picked out your homecoming dresses yet?" 

I looked up puzzlingly. "Homecoming dresses? Already?"

"Never too early," Addison said briskly as she bit into her sandwich. "I was planning on going dress shopping this weekend. I'll take you guys with me if you want."

"Really?" Izzie asked in excitement. "That would be great because I have no clue what to look for."

"No problem." She turned to me. "What about you Mer? Wanna come with?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"What about you, Cristina?"

She mumbled something incoherent.

"Cristina, you're going to have to speak up."

"I'm not going," she muttered, a little louder. "I don't want to go."

"Oh come on, Cristina," Izzie coaxed. "You _have_ to go to homecoming! It's part of being a teenager and living the high school experience!"

Cristina glared at her. "Okay, Barbie, could you shut up for one day about living the high school experience? Good lord! I'm not going because I don't have a date. And besides, it's a waste of perfectly good study time."

Addison rolled her eyes. "Seriously? You're not going because you don't have a date? Going with your friends is so much more fun! Don't let male stupidity get in the way of an amazing night."

"At least come dress shopping with us," I persuaded. "Please?"

She glanced at me and immediately looked away. "God, Mer, I hate it when you do the stupid puppy dog thing." I pulled my lip lower and she sighed. "Fine. As long as I get a ride, I'll go."

I turned back to my lunch happily. "Oh, and while we're out, Mer, I'll take you to go garter supply shopping." She must have understood the confused look on my face because she laughed and explained, "We have this weird tradition at Seattle Grace. When guys and girls go to homecoming with each other, they exchange mums and garters. Guys get garters, girls get mums. They're basically these huge, fake chrysanthemums attached to a cardboard circle on the back and loads of ribbons stapled to them. People decorate the ribbons with glitter, letters, bells, whistles, plastic charms, rabbits' feet…they also decorate the flowers with teddy bears and stuff. It's a really weird tradition but they're a lot of fun to make and a lot of fun to wear."

I looked at her uncertainly. "I have to make one of those mum things for Mark?" When she nodded, I asked, "Are you making one for Derek?"

She grinned. "Of course. I'm trying to outdo myself this year because the one I made for him last year was _huge_."

"What did you make that was huge?" Derek asked as he set his tray down next to her. The rest of the boys followed him and took their usual seats.

"Your garter last year," Addison explained. "I was just telling the rest of the girls about them."

All of the guys (minus George) gave a loud, simultaneous groan. "Crap, I forgot," Derek muttered. "I have to go shopping this weekend."

Addison smiled sweetly. "Don't forget, white and silver this year. We're seniors."

He stuck her tongue out at her while I turned to Mark. "Do I make you a white and silver garter too?"

He nodded unhappily. "Yeah…" He took a look at my curious face and explained, "I'm not a fan of the whole mum/garter thing. Garters get to be a pain at the end of the day, especially if they're big because they're sagging off your shoulder."

"And then you have to pin them to your sleeve," Burke added. "And you can't take it off either because then your date gets offended."

"I think they're fun," Addison declared.

"That's just because you like shiny things," Derek smiled at her.

We let the subject drop after that. Afterwards we started discussing homecoming rumors: who was asking who, who wasn't going, who was going to win the game, etc.

The last ten minutes of every lunch period were reserved for the daily skittle hockey battle. Today, however, the regular tension between Burke and Cristina was even more strained.

"Hey, Yang," he said with a smirk. "Five bucks that says my team wins."

She looked him straight in the eye. "You're on."

We split up into two teams: Addison, Derek, Burke, and Izzie on one time while Mark, George, Cristina and I were on the other. This game was even more intense than usual; Cristina and Burke hogged the Skittle most of the time, and whenever someone else attempted to make a shot, either Burke or Cristina was egging his or her teammate on. When I missed a save, she yelled at me for not having my head in the game.

By the time the bell rang, the score was at a tie: ten to ten.

"Cough it up, Burke," Cristina said, a self-satisfied smirk gracing her lips.

He shook his head. "No, you didn't win."

"Uh, I believe your exact words were, 'five bucks that says my team wins'. Your team did not win, your team tied. Therefore, your five bucks lied, and now belong to me."

"Hey, hey, not so fast," Burke said with his hands raised up in the air, palms facing forward. "We can't just leave this battle at a tie. We have to have a sudden death. It doesn't have to be Skittle hockey. You can pick another game if you like and let me beat you at that."

She glared at him. "Fine. Hot dog eating contest, tomorrow during lunch. Six sausages each, buns and all."

"You're on."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine," she said as she turned abruptly on her heel and walked away. Burke did the same, only in the opposite direction.

I glanced at Mark from the corner of my eye and struggled to keep my mouth clamped shut over the giggles threatening to escape.

The next day, the eight of us all rushed to get to the cafeteria. Burke and Cristina were eager to get the competition underway and the rest of us were eager to watch.

"Burke's gonna win, no doubt," George proclaimed. Strangely enough, he'd taken an unnatural liking to the senior.

"What makes you say that?" Izzie asked.

"He's got a bigger mouth," he explained. "He can fit more food in there."

"But Yang's Asian," Derek countered. "Asians are good at hot dog contests."

The two of them emerged from the lunch line and slammed their respective trays on the table. "Are you ready, Cristina?" Burke asked in a dead calm that would have unnerved a lesser woman.

"I haven't had anything to eat in the past twelve hours, I'm more than ready," she replied dangerously.

Without taking their eyes off each other, they limbered up; Cristina cracked her knuckles while Burke rotated his head, stretching out his back and neck muscles.

"Are you guys ready?" Mark asked.

"I was born ready," they both replied simultaneously. Mark and I glanced at each other again and hid our secret smiles.

"Ready…" Izzie called, not taking her eyes off her watch. "Set…go!"

They both attacked their hot dogs the moment the words escaped her lips. Burke decided to take them on whole while Cristina stuffed the sausages in her mouth first.

"Wow…" Addison watched in sheer fascination. "This is disgusting."

"No kidding," Derek added. "But I can't bring myself to look away."

After Cristina finished the sausages, she took her bottle of water and poured some of it over the hot dog buns and began stuffing that in her mouth as well. Burke was on his last hot dog. It didn't look like Cristina was going to make it, but—

"Ha!" she shouted in victory as she jumped up with her hands in the air, chewing furiously. "I did it, I win!"

"Hey, no!" Burke shouted in anger. "You're still chewing! You're supposed to have swallowed it _all_!"

"No, we never said that!"

"Then this doesn't count," Burke declared. "We should have set the rules before we went through with the game."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"We'll just use today's Skittle hockey game to break the tie," he told her. She nodded her agreement and the rest of us shot each other weary glances.

"You know, at the rate they're going, they're gonna end up spending more money on the bet than it's actually worth," Derek muttered as he stood up to go to the vending machines. It was his turn to get the Skittles today.

I'm sure you can probably guess the outcome of that Skittle hockey match.

"Actually, Derek, at the rate they're going, when someone finally wins those five dollars, it won't be worth anything," Addison said as she stood up to throw away the trash while the rest of us picked the Skittles off the floor.

* * *

"So what was your big plan?" I asked as Mark walked me home from school. I told him he didn't have to, but as usual he didn't listen. 

"Big plan for what?" he asked.

"Big plan for getting Cristina and Burke together," I reminded him teasingly.

"Oh, right," he remembered. "I was planning on trying to convince Burke to ask her to homecoming."

I nodded. "Sounds good."

Mark walked me to my front door and held my hands in much the same fashion as he had after our first date. "Do you mind if I walk you to school tomorrow?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "How?"

"I'll just drive here in the morning and leave my car here. Then I can walk you to school and back afterwards."

I smiled at him. "You don't have to," I told him, already knowing his answer.

"But I want to," he said returning my smile with his own special one. Right as he was leaning down to kiss me, I heard the front door creak open.

"Meredith?" my mother asked in surprise. The two of us jumped.

"Mom!" I cried in equal surprise. "Um, this is Mark. The guy from the party that walked Izzie and me to the car, remember?"

Despite the slight shock on his face, he managed to wipe most of it away and put on his most winning smile. "Hello, Ms. Grey. It's nice to meet you."

Surprisingly, my mom smiled back and shook the hand he offered. "It's nice to meet you Mark…?"

"Sloane," he supplied readily. "I was just walking Meredith home, if you don't mind."

"Oh, no, not at all. Thank you, for taking care of her."

"No problem. I was also hoping to walk her to school tomorrow, if that's alright with you."

She nodded. "That would be fine."

He smiled again at her and turned his smile to me and squeezed my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

I waved goodbye to him and turned to my mother, bracing myself for her anger. Instead, she just shook her head. "Boys are trouble, Meredith. You think you know them, but they tell you something that changes your world." She sighed. "I know you well enough to know that you won't listen to a word I say and that you will do how you please, but please…just be careful around him."

**A/N - I just want you guys to know that for the next few chapters (especially the homecoming bits) I am completely drawing from experience. I'm pretty sure that Seattle doesn't have the tradition of mums/garters, but I wanted to add it in beacause a good writer draws on his or her experience, and here in Texas, the tradition of mums/garters is practically sacred and almost more important than the actual game. If you don't know what a mum or garter looks like, I put a link up on my profile with a picture of it, so if my description isn't enough you can look at the link. Or you could just go to Google image search and search for homecoming mum. If you have any questions about homecoming traditions as portrayed in this story, feel free to ask them and I'll answer to the best of my abilities. (FYI, garters look the same as mums, only they're traditionally smaller and worn on the arm)**

**I love this chapter because of the whole Cristina/Burke interaction. I had so much fun writing this. But I LOVE next chapter so much more. I'm so excited, I can't even begin to explain. Chapter eight is quite possbibly my favorite chapter. So, if you guys review, I'll post it sooner. : )**


	8. Those Freaking Roses

**A/N - I'm going out of town for the next few days, so I'm going to post this chapter now in hopes that I come home to an inbox full of reviews. And ****I am so excited for this chapter because after you read this, it will be _painfully_ obvious as to what the pairings are. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

"So she just told you to be careful?" Cristina asked. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," I replied. "I mean, how weird is that? She's so uptight about things, and now she's giving me the go ahead to go out with Mark?" Of all my friends, I confided only in Cristina about my mother. Something about her dark and twisty-ness just comforted me, and I needed the comfort.

"I get why you're weirded out, but I wouldn't complain about if I were you," she replied over the phone. "You're mom OK'd your relationship with McSteamy, you should be happy."

"I guess…" I replied. "But then again, it wasn't really an okay or a go ahead for that matter…more like a warning or something."

"Yeah, whatever," she dismissed any further discussion of the topic. "Help me think of a game that I can beat Burke at."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "I don't think Burke's the kind of guy that likes the elementary school girl. You know, the harder you hit the more you like him. He's not into that."

I could hear her growl over the phone. "This isn't about showing him I don't like him, Meredith," she told me irritably. "This is about showing him that he can't push me around just because he's a senior and I'm a freshman."

"But he hasn't pushed you around," I pointed out.

"Meredith! Are you on my side or not?" she demanded.

"I'm not on anyone's side," I replied gently. "I just want to watch how this train wreck plays out."

* * *

"Meredith!" I heard Izzie shout from outside. "Come on, let's go!" 

After adjusting my shirt and grabbing my purse, I ran down the stairs and out the door, taking the time to lock it before I ran towards Addison's car. "Okay," I said as I slid in the backseat. "I'm in, let's go."

Cristina was wedged between Izzie and me, an arrangement she was clearly unhappy with. I glanced in the front passenger's seat and saw Addison grinning at me. "Hey, Meredith. We're just going to hit a few of my favorite stores and if we don't find anything there, we'll go to the mall. I just have to find my dress today, otherwise my mother will fee the need to go dress shopping with me, and I do _not_ want that." She shivered involuntarily.

I nodded. "Wait, if you're in the passenger's seat then who's driving?"

"I am," I heard a gloomy voice. I turned and found Derek's dark head leaning against the head rest.

"Yeah, my car had to get taken in for maintenance," Addison explained. "So Derek agreed to drive us, didn't you?"

I saw him roll his eyes at me in the rearview mirror. "Yeah right. More like you twisted my arm behind my back and threatened to make my garter bigger than my head if I didn't."

Addison shrugged. "Agreed, coerced…same difference."

"Good to know that there's so much love between the two of you," Cristina muttered under her breath.

We discussed what kind of dresses we were looking for until we pulled into the parking lot right in front of a store called Bright Lights. "This is my favorite store," Addison informed us as she opened the door and got out. "The dresses here are so beautiful."

Shopping with Addison and Izzie was unlike any shopping experience I had ever had. They grabbed anything and everything, threw it in my arms and shoved me into a dressing room before I could protest. I felt like I had tried on the entire store by the time we left, and we emerged with nothing.

"What was the point in making me try on all those clothes if we weren't going to buy them?" I asked crossly as I got back into the car. They hadn't even bought anything for themselves.

"We were trying to figure out your aesthetic," Izzie explained. "Every girl has an aesthetic. Mine is bright and cheerful."

"And mine is darker and sophisticated," Addison added. "We're trying to figure out what would look good on you."

"So have you figured it out yet? Or do I still have to try on a bunch of crap I'm not going to buy?"

Derek chuckled, and my cheeks reddened a bit. It was hard to stay mad at his girlfriend when he was laughing like that.

"We're getting there," Izzie said.

We went through two more stores before they finally figured out my aesthetic: "dramatic elegance" was what Addison called it.

We entered the mall finally knowing what we were all looking for. Cristina decided she would help me because the other two didn't really need help and Derek wandered around the stores aimlessly, waiting for us to finish.

The first few stores we went into didn't really have anything we were looking for, but I did see Cristina eyeing a dress. I took note of it and planned to tell Mark about it later, after his plan to get Burke to ask Cristina to homecoming was finished.

At the next store, both Izzie and Addison found their dresses. Izzie's was a pale pink color with thin spaghetti straps and a straight, square neckline with a little v cut right where here cleavage would show. The bodice was embroidered in the same pale pink color as the rest of the dress with little patterns of flowers and winding vines. The skirt of the gown was made of a thin, chiffon material with sweeping ruffles.

Addison's was less gaudy, but still looked stunning on her. Derek wasn't allowed to see it, so she asked us our opinion when she stepped out of the dressing room. It was a wine red, floor length number made of silk. It was incredibly simple and sweet, with a wide, v-neckline that reached out to the tops of her shoulders and dipped in the back to reveal her lovely, pale skin.

The last store we hit was where we found my dress. It was a gold halter dress with a plunging neckline and an empire waist. The bodice was made of silk with stripes of darker gold silk running across my stomach and stopping right above my hips. On the bottom stripe, there was a ribbon of the same dark gold silk tied into a little bow with a crystal glued in the center. The skirt was made of several layers of chiffon, differing in shades of gold and length. The front of the skirt revealed the length of my legs and floated around my calves and knees.

I liked the dress a lot, but was a little apprehensive as I emerged from the dressing room. "So?" I asked tentatively while I gave a little twirl. "What do you think?"

Izzie grinned from ear to ear. Cristina smiled broadly, a feat I never thought possible. Addison nodded approvingly. "I like it. What do you think, Derek?"

I turned to him and felt my face fire up under his gaze. His voice got quiet all of a sudden and he was looking at me with those blue eyes that took my breath away on my first day of school. "You look beautiful," he said quietly.

I finally tore my eyes away from him and smiled at my friends, trying to shake off the feeling that he was still staring at me. "Well, I think I found it then."

"Great," Derek declared behind me. "While you girls finish up here, I'm going outside to start the car." Only when he left the store was I finally able to breathe properly again.

As we walked out of the mall, Addison smacked the palm of her hand against her head. "Oh my gosh! I totally forgot about shoes!"

* * *

"So how's the Burke/Cristina thing coming along?" I asked Mark over the phone, the wireless receiver cradled between my ear and my shoulder. I was trying to make it up the stairs with a plate of pizza and a glass of water whiled trying not to spill everything. 

"It's coming along nicely," he answered. "I've almost got him convinced. What are you doing? It sounds like you're concentrating really hard or something."

"You can't see it, but I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now," I said with a slight lisp because I actually was sticking my tongue out.

He started laughing. "Oh, I forgot to ask. How did the dress shopping thing go on Saturday?"

"It went well," I replied. "I just felt really bad about dragging Derek along."

"Yeah, I heard about that. He said it was the worst Saturday of his life, and that included the time he licked a flagpole in the middle of winter on a bet when he was eight."

I laughed. "Like _A Christmas Story_?"

He laughed with me. "Exactly like that. In fact, I have the distinct memory of being the one to triple dog dare him."

I laughed even harder. "Oh, you're horrible."

I could almost hear him pout over the phone. "But you still like me, right?"

My smile softened, even though he couldn't see. "Yes. Yes I do."

* * *

The next day at school a gigantic banner was draped between the two lampposts guarding the entrance to the student parking lot. It looked professionally done with roses in the background and white calligraphic letters spelling out, "Addison, will you go to homecoming with me?" I saw Derek standing underneath the sign with a bouquet of pink roses in his arms. 

Mark, who had been walking me to school for the past week, smiled when he saw his friend. "Ah, finally! He asked her."

I frowned. "Wait, they're going out. Isn't it assumed that they're already going with each other? Why did he have to ask?"

"Well because girls like being asked," he replied simply.

I asked Joe the same question before school started. "At Seattle Grace, we make this huge deal about homecoming. You know, the whole mum/garter thing, student council going all out planning homecoming week and the dance. The guys also make a big deal about asking the girls. Even if a couple is already going out, it's assumed that the guy is going to ask anyways, and the more popular the couple is, the bigger and more extravagantly he has to ask her."

"Seriously?" I asked in surprise. "Does that mean Mark's going to ask me too?"

He nodded. "And he's probably going to make a huge production of it too. Like Derek and his banner."

For the next several weeks, guys were asking girls to left and right. Girls were spotted carrying flowers in their arms while all their friends stopped them and asked excitedly who had asked. Guys were seen hi-fiving each other, discussing plans conspiratorially with each other, and walking around with flowers for part of the day. Everything was so frenzied between both boys and girls about this homecoming thing that it honestly shocked me. It happened to Izzie three weeks before the event in question. When I got to Geography, I spotted the flowers on her desk and asked excitedly, "Who?"

She smiled and replied. "George. He just walks up to me in the middle of English and asks me to go with him. When I told him yes, he whips these," she gestured to the lovely white roses sitting on her desk, "and hands them to me."

"That's so sweet!" I exclaimed sincerely.

She nodded. "I know. Of course, we discussed it and everything; we're just going as friends and nothing more because if you ask me, I think he's got a crush on someone else."

We had to cut our gossip short because Mr. Edgehill walked in and started class.

I started to get a little more nervous as the days lagged on. Homecoming was getting ever closer and Burke had yet to ask Cristina. Not to mention, Mark hadn't asked me yet. I wouldn't have minded if he didn't; in fact, I would have preferred if he didn't, but it was expected. And he was supposed to make a big deal about it too.

One day at lunch, Addison came back from the vending machine with a bag of opened M&Ms. "They ran out of Skittles, so we'll just have to use these instead."

We nodded as Cristina and Burke began psyching themselves up. But the seniors didn't look quite as nonchalant as they usually were during the Skittle hockey match. They were all glancing at each other quickly, almost conspiratorially.

"What's going on?" I asked Mark when Derek, Addison, and Burke all glanced at each other for the fifth time.

He winked at me and I suddenly understood. "Nothing."

Burke pulled out the first M&M and sent it flying across the table. Mark let it whiz past him and fall to the ground.

"Mark!" Cristina growled in frustration. She glanced down at the M&M on the floor. "Why did you—why is there a W on the M&M?"

Another one was sent over our end of the table. It was blue with an I. Twenty-seven more M&Ms came flying over the end, all with different letters printed on them, the last one with a question mark. Cristina arranged them all in the order they came, until they spelled out: will you go to homecoming with me? She looked up and Burke was holding a bouquet of dark red roses in his hands.

You could have cut the tension with a knife. Everyone at the table held their breath, waiting to hear her reply.

"I don't have a dress," she said very matter-of-factly.

"You've got time," he replied with equal coolness.

She stared at him a little while longer. Then she said, "Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

The bell rang. Cristina picked up all her M&Ms off the floor and took the roses Burke offered her. "Thank you," she told him, not as a gesture of gratitude, but as a statement of fact.

"You're welcome." Then the two of them walked off in different directions, leaving the rest of us there to throw away our trash.

"That was weird," I told Mark as he walked me to my locker.

"Yeah, I thought so too."

"How did he get all those letters put on those M&Ms?"

"He knows a guy that works at the M&M factory in Las Vegas," Mark explained. "Not to mention he's loaded, so he got them specially made and shipped here."

I stared at Mark. "Wow. That is amazing."

He shrugged. "He always said he was rich for a reason."

**A/N - Okay...so now you know who likes who, right? At least I hope you do. From now on, the chapters get a lot more interesting. ;) By the way, I based the girls' homecoming dresses off of actual dresses, so if my descriptions aren't enough and you want to see what they really look like, I put links on my profile page as to what they look like. They're right undrneath the mum link. Oh, and before I forget, Izzie and George won't end up together; I just couldn't think of anyone else they could have gone with because I didn't really want to write Alex or Callie into these homecoming plans. Izzie and George together was just convenient.**

**merlovsder - I'm pretty sure the mum/garter tradition is only in Texas, but my friend said her cousin did them in New Jersey, so I'm not entirely sure. Every out of state person I talk to says they've never heard of them before, so I think she was lying.**

**CSI3Lyra - You're getting me fat from all these goodies! By all means, continue sending them. :)**


	9. Fear not, fair maiden!

**Chapter 9**

"Mer, you have to do me a favor," Cristina pleaded with me during Latin.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "What exactly is the favor?"

"You have to go dress shopping with me this weekend," she declared, clasping her hands together in front of her. "Please? I went dress shopping with you, you totally owe me!"

"Chill out," I laughed. "I was going to say yes, geez."

She smiled a full, genuine smile. "Thank you."

"You know, I saw you eyeing a dress when we were at Windsor," I told her with a small smile. "Maybe we should go back there."

She nodded, but didn't reply. She was obviously embarrassed that I had noticed, so I let the subject drop.

* * *

"Oh, Cristina," I breathed. "It's beautiful." 

She turned around hesitantly. "Are you sure? You don't think it's too dark do you? Or too tight? Or too—"

I shook my head emphatically. She tried the dress that she was looking at when we were at the mall and it was absolutely amazing on her. It was made of navy blue silk with wide straps that clung to her shoulder and dipped into a square neckline right above her bust. It had an empire waist and a seam running along the bottom that gave volume to her skirt.

"It looks really good on you. Don't even think of buying another dress!"

After we bought our dresses, we went looking for shoes. Cristina bought a pair of black stilettos and I bought a pair of gold sandals that were impossible to walk in.

"You know we're probably just going to end up taking these off by the time we get to the dance, right?" I told her as we went to the cash register to pay for our shoes.

"Yeah," she replied. "But that's what being a girl is all about."

Cristina's mom came to pick us up and drove us to the nearest craft store to buy things for our dates' garters. We looked at all the different designs and began to feel a little overwhelmed.

"We're supposed to _make_ these?" Cristina asked in wonder as she plucked at one of the sparkly creations pinned to the wall. "Seriously? We're supposed to _make_ _these_? And they're supposed to _wear_ them?"

I shook my head and shrugged. "It's tradition."

"I'm still trying to get past the fact that we have to _make_ these."

Just to be safe, we bought some of everything, and Mrs. Yang drove us to her house so we could attempt to put them together. After staring at our supplies for over an hour, we started attempting to put them together.

"Okay…so we have to glue the…ribbons first?" I asked as I started cutting them.

"Yeah…" Cristina trailed off. She started gluing some streamers on a piece of circular cardboard that was supposed to go on the back of the flower.

It took us a little while to get them assembled, but after a while we had some fun. Cristina put a rabbit's foot on hers, and I strung the garter with some of the Christmas lights I found. The last touch was the elastic garter that went on the back.

When we were finished, we heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" Cristina shouted.

"How is it coming along?" Mrs. Yang asked. "Ooh, those look nice!"

"Thanks," Cristina replied shortly. I could tell she was trying not to snap at her mother. I could understand why she didn't like her very much; she was the kind of mother that wanted her children to turn out the way _she_ wanted. She was a pageant mom. "What do you want?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see how you girls were coming along. Do you need anything?"

"No, we're fine."

"Okay," she sounded a little disappointed. "Well give me a holler if you need anything!"

When she left the room, Cristina gave me an exasperated look. "Mothers."

I smiled at her wryly. "Don't I know it."

Mrs. Yang insisted that I eat lunch with them before she dropped me off. Cristina was cringing in her seat most of the time while her mother asked rather embarrassing questions about high school.

"Give me the low down," Mrs. Yang insisted. "The four-one-one, whatever you cool cats call it."

"Um, sure thing, Mrs. Yang," I replied as I tried not to laugh. If I laughed, Cristina never would have forgiven me. I then proceeded to answer all her questions, being very careful to leave out any mention of Burke and Cristina together. Just in case.

When she dropped me off, Cristina shot me a grateful glance. "Thank you for coming with me today. And for putting up with my mom. It's a lot to ask, I know."

"No problem. You helped me, so it was my turn." I winked at her. "Just try not to give Burke too much hell on Monday, okay?"

She sighed. "I'll try. But the bet's still on."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course. Whatever."

* * *

The next morning, Mark came to walk me to school as usual. The moment we crossed the street and stepped onto the school grounds, someone dressed in a gigantic bear suit grabbed me from behind, one arm around my waist, the other hand clamped over my mouth. He dragged me off to the side of the student parking lot and held me close against him. 

"Hey!" Mark shouted as he ran after my captor. "What are you doing?"

The man in the bear suit merely grunted in reply, picked me up, and ran off with me. I was too stunned to say anything.

My face lit aflame as my captor fled with me in his arms. It might just have been the fur covered suit, but there was a sort of heat emanating from him and his touch felt intense and electric. Despite the warmth, I shivered unconsciously at the sparks shooting between the two of us, which only caused the bear-man to hold me closer.

He stopped when we got to the baseball field. He set me on the bench in the dugout and stood on the pitcher's mound, as if he were waiting for something. Sure enough, Mark entered the baseball field with his arms and legs wrapped in tin foil and a plastic knight's helmet haphazardly jammed over his head, brandishing a plastic sword as he went. "Ye beast! Leave the maiden be!"

Bear-man just lifted his leg sumo wrestler style and growled.

"Fear not, fair lady! I shall save thee from yon furry captor!" And with this brave declaration, he set his sword forward and rushed at bear-man.

A huge crowd came into the baseball field to watch. Someone must have tipped them off as they all crowded in around the fences. Some were shouting encouragements, some were laughing their heads off, and some were shaking their heads, as if to say, "I can't believe they're doing this." I spotted Izzie's giggling face in the crowd and George standing next to her, watching in amusement and laughing every so often. A few feet away stood Cristina who was smiling at the theatrics of the two on the pitcher's mound.

"I shall protect the fair maiden from monsters like you!" Mark screamed.

The bear growled back and started swinging at him with his long, furry arms. Mark parried with his flimsy sword, but it was no use. The bear-man overpowered him and tackled him to the ground, swiping at him with imaginary claws.

As the battle raged on, I slowly climbed out of the dugout and made my way closer to the pitcher's mound. Mark's helmet was ripped off in the heat of the fight and the foil was barely clinging to his sleeves. "I…can't…" he huffed theatrically. "I…have…failed."

Bear-man got off of him as Mark feigned his own death. "Dearest Meredith, I have failed you," he gasped. "But please, answer me one question before I am carried off by the angels of heaven." He whipped out a single rose from his scabbard and held it out to me. "Will you go to homecoming with me?"

I couldn't help but smile. He set all this up just to ask me to homecoming? "Of course," I replied as I took the rose from his quivering hands. The moment I took the rose from his hand, his arm went limp and he died.

The entire crowd started cheering when they realized what happened. Mark sprang up and took me in his arms to plant a kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, the last of the tin foil fell away from his limbs and I laughed. "Some knight you are," I teased. "Your armor can't even stay on."

"Shut up," he replied with a smile as he kissed me again.

When we pulled away for the second time, Derek, still in the bear suit but without the mask, approached me with the rest of the roses. "Here you go, fair maiden," he smiled. "He couldn't fit the whole bouquet in the sheath, so he opted for one."

I smiled back. "Thank you. You two were really convincing, by the way."

They both laughed. "We better be, we rehearsed for an hour this morning," Mark informed me.

The warning bell sounded and the crowd dispersed. Derek went off to change out of his costume and into his regular uniform, leaving Mark and me in the baseball field, walking slowly hand-in-hand towards the building.

* * *

"That was amazing," Izzie exclaimed when we got to Geography. "The way he asked you was so like him! He's your knight in shining…whatever, and he tried to save you from a monster! Granted, he did die…" 

I laughed. "Yeah, it was pretty funny."

"And then he just took you in his arms and kissed you!" Izzie sighed contentedly. "Man, I wish I had a boyfriend that would do that. I would give anything to be in your shoes."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Whatever happened to what you told me on the first day of school? You said you were here to learn, not to date."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm not here to date. But I wouldn't mind having a steady boyfriend that I can depend on. God, I'm so jealous."

The compliments and congratulations continued throughout the day. I was shy, as usual, whenever anyone mentioned Mark and me together, but I was also pleased. I liked having Mark as a boyfriend, and I liked that fact that we already knew we were going to homecoming together. It was nice; I didn't have to wonder, not like the rest of the female population at Seattle Grace.

When lunch rolled around, the eight of us sat down together, laughing over this morning's production.

"You guys are stupid," Addison declared with a smile on her face. She hadn't been there, but everyone filled her in on the details, and Derek was sure to inject the parts when he "overpowered Mark with his claws of death and his sheer brute strength". Addison just laughed harder when he told her this.

"Hey, it was your boyfriend's idea," Mark accused.

Derek grimaced at him. "Whatever. That was all on you."

"Where did you get the bear costume?" George asked.

"I own it," Burke told him. Cristina and I exchanged glances, then quickly looked away to avoid snickering. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

"What's so funny?" he asked, a little annoyed.

Cristina looked him straight in the eye. "Why do you own a bear costume?"

"I played Papa Bear in my little brother's performance of _The Three Little Bears_. They couldn't find a kid tall enough, so Jeffrey asked me."

Cristina smiled again and this time it reached her eyes. "That's cool."

"We have a video if you want to see it," Mark interjected. He put on a deep, gruff voice and growled, "Who ate my porridge? Who sat in my chair? WHO SLEPT IN MY BED?"

Burke shot Mark a look while the rest of us laughed. "Did he really sound like that?" George asked through the laughter.

"When he wasn't tripping," Derek replied, a great big grin spread across his shadowed cheeks. "Right in the middle of the play, he tripped over baby bear's broken chair."

"It was scattered all over the place!" he cried out in his defense. The rest of us burst out laughing.

"Oh, and remember the time when he forgot his line?" Addison choked out in between giggles. "You couldn't even remember how to say, 'Mother Bear! I think someone broke into our house!' Remember?"

It brought on a fresh wave of giggles from us all and he chuckled with us. It was a great part about being friends with them; everything was so easy-going and laidback. All were friends, none were enemies.

"Yeah, well that's nothing compared to the time when Derek had to buy Addison some tampons, remember?" Burke managed to gasp through his laughter.

"You had to buy Addison tampons?" I asked him in wonderment, tears of mirth streaming down my face.

"Yeah," he grumbled. "She was having her period and apparently she was leaking," the girls at the table started cackling hysterically, "and she begged me to go for her because she refused to leave the house."

"He made us go with him," Mark added. "And you know everything that happens in the sitcoms when the guy is buying tampons for his girlfriend?"

"It was just like that, only a million times worse," Burke finished.

"How so?" George asked.

"Well, we get to the aisle and it's almost a mile long," Burke began. "And there are so many different kinds too, like absorbent, with wings, pearls, strawberry scented…it was weird."

"So we told Derek to call Addison and ask what kind she wanted, but she was taking a nap and she can sleep through World War III, so naturally she wasn't answering her phone." Mark continued.

"And we didn't want to come back in case we got the wrong kind or anything," Derek added, on the verge of laughter.

"So we bought one of everything," Mark finished. "The cash register girl looked like she was about to have an aneurism.

Cristina, Izzie and I exchanged glances and burst out in laughter. Addison grinned. "I didn't have to buy tampons for a year after that."

Derek smiled too. "And I never had to buy her tampons again."

**A/N - You guys were freaking out about Mark not asking Meredith. It made me laugh. And I'd just like to say for the record, that Derek's banner from last chapter and the bear suit man from this chapter all happened at my school. We, like Seattle Grace Prep, make a big deal out of everything, so I decided to base the askings on actual, real life events. And how all the girls walk around with roses, yeah, that's true too. It makes the girls that don't get asked feel like crap.**

**CSI3Lyra - Mmmm...chocolate...**

**ilovegreysanatomy - Mark and Addison aren't really central to the story. This story focuses mainly on the conflict between Meredith, Mark, and Derek.**

**merbelle007 - Omigosh, your review had me cracking up. "It's pretty much the worst tradition ever." XD Seriously, I was rolling on the floor. I personally don't mind mums myself (until they rip huge wholes in my favorite t-shirts). They just distract me in the middle of class with all the shiny stuff.**

**cupido - The mum/garter thing is only in Texas. They probably don't make such a big deal out of homecoming anywhere else, but Texans are a bunch of drama queens. We could give those pansies in the OC a run for their money.**

**greypilgrim26 - Oh, something's gonna happen, alright. Probably not what you expect, but something's DEFINITELY gonna happen. -evil grin-**

**smilexbrighter93 - I'm from north Texas. The metropolitan area.**


	10. Thinglets

**A/N - Haha, yes, bear suit man actually did happen, but instead of kidnapping her, he just attacked her car. The guy asking her to homecoming tried to fight bear suit man off, but he ended up dying. Sadly. And then one year, during the spring musical, two of the actors staged this choreographed sword fight right before the show for a girl sitting in the front row. And with an almighty thrust of his sword, the guy doing the actual asking throws the other guy off, whips out a bouquet of roses and asks the girl to prom right then and there in front of a huge audience. It was really corny, but funny at the same time.**

**But anyways, on with the story...**

**Chapter 10**

The next several weeks at Seattle Grace Prep were some of the most hectic of my life. It seemed as if everyone was going crazy with homecoming plans. Rumors of who was eating with whom for dinner before the dance, who wasn't invited to eat where, and so-and-so was stealing her best friend's dress idea were flying around the school with unparalleled fury. The stress of all the planning was starting to getting to people. Izzie was starting to snap at everyone more than was necessary and even George didn't smile as often as he used to.

Addison was starting to show the strain as well. She was part of the student council, and it was the duty of the student council to plan the dance. Everyday at lunch, she brought a catalog with her of different balloon colors, spray paints, and flowers, not to mention résumés of hopeful photographers that wanted to take pictures of the event. Everyday she asked our opinions on what we thought would be the best color for the walls, and after telling her what we thought would look good very nicely and helpfully, she shook her head, called us stupid, and decided how she wanted the walls to be on her own.

Mark's football practices started getting longer and longer. Addison informed me that he was an important part of the team, and we were playing our archrivals, the Seattle Bay High Seahawks that night, and it was absolutely imperative that we win.

"They scheduled us to play them on their homecoming last year," Addison explained, "which was a huge slap to the face."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you schedule teams that are generally easier to win against on your homecoming," she continued. "You know, to make sure that you can't lose. It's a school pride thing."

"Okay," I nodded like I understood.

"And since they scheduled us and they ended up winning, we have to win this game to get them back."

The only people in the school who seemed unaffected were the teachers, who held no qualms whatsoever in assigning as much homework as they could. Almost every single night was devoted to getting my mountain of homework done before I went to bed. I had no time to call anyone, not even my boyfriend. No one really took it personally, except for Izzie. She liked talking while she did her work, and I didn't. It generally drove me insane when I tried to do my homework with her yapping away on the phone, so I stopped calling after a while.

In the end, all I could really do was hope that homecoming was worth all the hype.

* * *

"Okay, so where do you guys want to eat for homecoming dinner?" Addison asked as we all sat down to lunch the next day. 

"Where did we eat last year?" Burke asked.

"The Blue Umbrella," she replied, referring to the notebook in her lap.

"I liked that place," Derek commented. "They had good breadsticks."

"Um, let's not," Mark said sheepishly. "That place brings back bad memories."

"Why?" George asked curiously, but Addison gave a loud cough, signaling him to drop it. But everyone knows that doesn't work.

"I…um…well…" he struggled as Derek watched him in amusement. "It's a funny story, really…"

"Laura didn't seem to think so," Derek said with a smirk. His friend shot him a dirty look, but it was too late.

"Who's Laura?" I accused.

Burke and Derek struggled to hide their smiles while Addison excused herself from the table. I had a feeling that his explanation was going to be more than interesting.

"Um, well Laura was my homecoming date last year," he began, a little nervously. His cuteness would have been endearing if I hadn't already been so weary.

"And…?" I prompted.

"And…the waitress was flirting with me."

"Tell her what else happened, Mark," Derek encouraged as the complacent smirk spread across his face.

He sighed. "Okay, fine. The waitress was flirting with me and I thought she was hot, so I sort of…flirted back. Laura didn't like it, so she was a little upset during dinner. Then I went to the bathroom right before we left, and the waitress followed me. We ended up making out right in front of the men's room…and Laura caught us."

My mouth compressed in a thin line. "You went to homecoming dinner and you made out with the _waitress_," I summarized slowly and clearly. "What happened after that?"

He turned incredibly red. "Laura never talked to me again and I started going out with the waitress."

I was silent for a few moments as I absorbed the story. Mark was watching me apprehensively, waiting in anxiety for my reaction. "I'm disappointed in you, Mark," I said softly.

His face fell and he took my hands in his. "Meredith, you gotta believe me. It was a total mistake! I know that what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry. But I'd _never_ do something like that to you! I swear it!"

I examined his eager expression carefully. He seemed so set on my knowing that he would never do anything to hurt anyone like that, most especially me. It was all in his eyes. He changed. He changed, and he wanted me to know that. But what really convinced me was the way he called me Meredith; he didn't call me Grey, like he normally did. No, he called me Meredith. My full name.

"All right then," I said, looking him straight in the eyes. I wasn't totally convinced, but I was willing to give him the chance to prove it. "We won't go to the Blue Umbrella."

* * *

"You know, I saw the look on your face," Derek said. We were sitting on the brick wall surrounding the school, waiting for our respective significant others. 

I glanced at him with a curious expression. "What look?" I asked.

"That untrusting look," he replied. "When Mark told you about Laura and the waitress at lunch today. You didn't look like you trusted him."

I sighed. "That's because I didn't."

"Then why did you say okay?"

I didn't answer him immediately. Instead, I traced patterns in the dirt with the toe of my shoe, contemplating the answer. Finally after a few minutes, I replied, "Because he said my name like he was sorry."

"He's good at that, you know." I looked at him, surprise written on my face. "At making it sound like he's sorry. He's good at it."

"I don't understand. What are you trying to say?"

He sighed. "I'm trying to say, be careful, Mer, okay? He's known for charming his way out of anything."

"I thought you said he really liked me."

"He does," Derek quickly amended. "But he's still Mark. No pretty freshman, no matter how special or different is going to change that."

I knew that I really shouldn't have gotten upset or anything; he _was_ just trying to help out, after all. I knew it…but I didn't feel it.

"What are you trying to insinuate, Derek?" I asked, my voice dangerously low.

"I'm not trying to insinuate anything," he argued. "I'm just trying to tell you to be careful. I know some girls have superhero complexes or whatever. They think that they can save their boyfriend from being a badass or something, but Mark will always be that way. You can't change him, no matter how much you want to."

"Who said anything about changing him?" I asked angrily. "I don't want to change him. Mark will be Mark, and I know there's nothing I can do about that."

He sighed. "Meredith, he was a playboy the moment he hit adolescence. He's never slowed down until he met you, okay? I just don't know how long this change is going to last, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

I glared at him. "Why the hell do you care, Derek? It's none of your business."

I could tell he was starting to get exasperated. "Look, I consider you my friend, okay? And I don't like it when my friends get hurt. I'm just saying that you should look out for yourself. Mark is a good guy, but sometimes he's not the greatest boyfriend on the planet."

I got off the wall and walked off. I couldn't talk about it with him anymore. I just couldn't. Derek was the last person on earth I would tell about my relationship with Mark, mainly because the two of them were best friends.

Not to mention, he had these eyes that made me feel and say things that I didn't want to feel or say. And that scared me.

The moment I got home, I grabbed the phone and called Cristina. She knew immediately from my distressed tone that I was in serious need of a friend.

"What happened?" she asked, and I began to relate to her the content of the conversation I shared with Derek after school.

She listened very carefully and paused for a while after I finished the story. "I'm not really used to interacting with people and stuff, but I dunno, Mer…maybe he was just being nice. You know, telling you to look after yourself and stuff. Isn't that the kind of things friends say to one another?"

I sighed. "Yes, but it was just the _way_ he said it, you know? I guess you would have had to be there to understand, but he said it like he was my parent or something."

"Isn't that a good thing? Honestly, Mer, why is this bothering you so much?"

"Because!" I exclaimed, as if it were an adequate answer to the question. "He shouldn't be worrying about me like that! And when he does…it just makes me feel weird."

"Whatever, Mer," Cristina muttered. I couldn't see her, but I could practically hear her roll her eyes. "You're weird."

* * *

The next day at school, I was especially careful to avoid him. I didn't see him much during the day anyways, just at lunch, but during that time, I made sure I didn't glance his way once. I had the slightest suspicion that he was watching me, but I didn't care to look back. I hated that he looked at me with such concern. It wasn't his right. 

"Did you and Derek get in a fight or something?" Mark asked me as he walked me to my locker after lunch.

"What makes you think that?" I asked shortly, not looking at him.

"Well, you refused to look at him the entire time, for one," he began, "and the rest of the time, he kept looking at you like he wanted to tell you something. Like he was sorry."

I sighed. "We sort of got into a little thing. Not even really a thing. More like a thinglet."

I brought my gaze to Mark's face and couldn't help but smile at the curious look. His eyebrows were lifted in bewilderment, and his mouth was twisted in a smirk. "Okay then…what was discussed in this thinglet?"

I bit my lip as a battle raged in my head. One part of me argued that I needed to tell him; I couldn't _not_ tell him; he was my boyfriend for crying out loud! All those magazines on the newsstands in front of the cash register at grocery stores keep telling me that communication in a relationship is absolutely key. But the other side of me screamed at me to keep my mouth shut.

The former won.

"Yesterday, I was sitting on the wall right in front of the school, waiting for you, and Derek was waiting for Addison with me. Then he told me that he saw the look on my face after you told me about Laura and the waitress."

Mark winced at the reference, but said nothing, waiting for me to continue my story.

"He said it looked like I didn't trust you to keep your promise. And I guess a part of me doesn't, but I'm willing to give you a chance, so don't worry," I added quickly as I saw him open his mouth to protest. "I don't trust you completely, but give me time and I will," I said gently as I brought the palm of my hand against his face. He smiled back at me and kissed me fleetingly on the lips.

"Go on. What else happened?"

"I told him that, and he told me to be careful. He said that ever since you hit puberty you had always been a player or something like that and no freshman, no matter how pretty or different or special was going to change that."

He sighed. "Is that what this is about?" He took my hands in his much like he had yesterday when he told me he would never hurt me the way he hurt Laura. "Meredith, I know you don't trust me, but I also know that you're giving me a chance. A chance I probably don't deserve, but you're giving me a chance anyways. I don't deserve anyone nearly as amazing, perfect, sweet, or beautiful as you, but by some miracle, I have you. But Derek's wrong. You _have_ changed me. I've changed because I want to show you that there's more to me than my past." He kissed me gently on the lips as I closed my eyes. "I love you. And I will do anything to get you to love me too."

The bell rang and we parted in hasty terms, but not before giving me one last kiss. I didn't really recognize it though, as I rushed through the halls to get to my class. When I got into Latin, Cristina took one look at me and said, "Uh-oh. What happened?"

"McSteamy just said he loved me," I said softly as I slid into my seat, still in shock. I was facing straight forward, staring at the blackboard but not really seeing anything. I was too preoccupied to think of anything else.

I vaguely registered Cristina sputtering her shock. "Mc-McSteamy told you he LOVED YOU?" she all but shouted.

I shrugged.

"Oh my god," Cristina muttered. "McSteamy loves you. What happened?"

I told her how the whole scene played out while facing her, but not really seeing anything. I was floating in a trancelike state, unable to really focus on anything, and instead allowing the words to pour out of my mouth. When I was finished, she asked, "Do you love him back?"

I shrugged, returning my hazy focus to Mr. Pactor, who was writing something on the board. I faintly heard her mutter, "Oh," and "I get it," but I didn't bother to ask her what exactly she got. Some deep, dormant voice in the back of my mind said that it was important, but I shoved it away and chalked her epiphany up to an academic understanding of the concepts written on the board.

Then she said something that sounded an awful lot like, "You like McDreamy."

I didn't really notice it then. I was too confused to hear, say, or understand anything. I was still too focused (or unfocussed, rather) on the fact that Mark loved me. But in hindsight, I think I did hear her. I just refused to acknowledge the truth of her words.

**A/N - Uh-oh. Mer likes McDreamy, but McSteamy loves her. Dun dun dun...**

**mcobsessed - Nah, I'm not from a small town. Just a small school.**

**xoxMartini-Kissesxox - Yeah, I agree. Roses are kinda cliche.**

**smilexbrighter93 - Really? That's awesome. I go to school in Fort Worth.**

**CSI3Lyra - Haha, no, neither bear suit man nor banner guy asked me to homecoming. But my sophomore year, this guy (we were both in Band by the way) left a huge bouquet of roses in the bell of my horn and put up signs everywhere. Then he asked me straight up and gave me more roses. And I agree, roses are cliche, but they're also a little sweet sometimes. And no, I never did have Christmas lights on my mum, but I had a string of really loud jingle bells. I sounded like Santa's reindeer every time I rounded a corner.**


	11. Complications

**A/N - I was going through YouTube and I found this video of a dance off between two tap dancers and three Irish step dancers, and one of the Irish step dancers looked like Patrick Dempsey. He was wearing a pair of black pants with a button down, long-sleeved white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and it just got me imagining Patrick Dempsey Irish step dancing. WOULDN'T THAT BE AMAZING?**

**Anyways...on with the story.**

**Chapter 11**

"I should talk to him about it, right?" I asked in frantic nervousness. I was pacing in my room, my white-knuckled hand tightly gripping the phone that was currently pressed against my ear. "I mean, he told me he loved me. The usual response to that is 'I love you too', right?"

"Generally," replied the uninterested voice of Cristina Yang on the other end. "Meredith, stop pacing. You're going to wear a hole in the floor and fall right through the ceiling of your living room."

"I'm not pacing," I replied, not even slowing the strides of my legs. "And how do you know anyways? You can't even see me."

"I can hear the wind whooshing against the receiver," she replied. "You're pacing that fast."

"I should call him, right?" I asked for the millionth time.

"God, Mer, seriously," she burst out in frustration. "If this is bothering you so much, then maybe you should call him."

"But I don't love him!" I cried in despair. "I can't love him! I've only known him for two months!"

"What's your point?"

"My point is, love isn't supposed to be that fast."

I heard her sigh on the other end. "Okay. Does…" she trailed off, searching for the right words, "…does he make you feel giddy every time you see him?"

I thought carefully. "No. I'm pretty calm."

"Do you like kissing him?"

"Yes." It _was_ nice.

"Do you keep watching him every time he gets near?"

"Yes."

"Do you think about him a lot?"

"What do you think I'm doing now?" I yelled in frustration.

"Does he drive you up the wall? Like if the two of you were walking down the hall and you see him eye some hot chick, would you go totally postal jealous bitch on him, or would you just not care?"

"I'd be pretty miffed."

"Would you be willing to push him out of the way of a moving van if you saw that it was about to run him over?"

"Is this before or after I caught him eyeing some slut in the hallway?"

"Um, he never eyed her to begin with."

Would I? "Yes," I replied with relative surety. Whether or not I loved him wouldn't be the case there; I didn't want him to die.

"Well then you love him to some degree," Cristina reasoned. "Because if you didn't, you would let him eye as many skanky who'es as he wanted and then let him get run over."

When she put it like that, it made sense.

"I guess. Should I call and tell him that?"

Cristina growled. "If it gets you to stop talking to me, then yes. By all means, call him and tell him that you love him."

"But do I really?"

"MEREDITH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm hanging up now. Sheesh."

But I didn't call him. Instead, I stared at the phone for the rest of the night, half hoping that he would call me and half hoping that he wouldn't.

I knew I was being stupid. I knew that I was making a mountain out of a molehill…but all of the relationships I had ever witnessed only fell apart in the end. It scared me. Were things going too fast? Were things supposed to go this fast? I didn't know.

I resolved to talk to him the next day. It was ridiculous for me to walk around in this weird state between sanity and reason. I couldn't keep dwelling on the things he said, otherwise I would drive myself (not to mention Cristina) insane.

I would talk to him tomorrow, I thought to myself determinedly. I'd tell him straight up that I didn't love him yet, and it was moving too fast. I'd tell him that I needed more time; I'd love him eventually. Just not now.

The next day I woke up extra early so I could shower and get my hair done and plan the little speech I was going to give Mark.

"Mark," I told my reflection as I was fixing my hair. "I think we're taking this too fast. Maybe we should slow down a little; I mean, I like you, a lot, but I don't love you. So give me a little time and I will, okay?"

I wasn't really satisfied with it by the time Mark showed up. It sounded a little bit in the beginning like I wanted to break up with him (which I did _not_ want), but I couldn't think of better words.

At promptly seven o'clock, I heard a sharp knocking on my door. Taking a deep breath, I answered the door and opened my mouth, but Mark cut me to the chase.

"We need to talk," he said in a very serious manner that freaked me out a little.

"Um, okay…" I trailed off as he let himself into my house. The next thing I knew, he grabbed me by the shoulders and planted a huge kiss on my lips. I kissed back a little, unsure of how to respond to such a welcome.

When he finally pulled away, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I love you. I love you and nothing is going to change that. And I know you've never been in a relationship before, so what I said yesterday might have freaked you out a bit. But I also meant what I said; I will do _anything_ to get you to love me back. I'll wait as long as you need."

What do you say to that? Nothing. So instead of responding with my clumsy words, I wrapped my hand around his neck and brought his face to mine, enjoying the startled look on his face as I pressed my lips against his.

* * *

The next week, Mark was extra gentle with me. He held my hand loosely in the hallways, talking to me and smiling the whole time. We were the picture of a perfectly happy couple. We weren't nauseating with the public displays of affection, and we weren't attached at the hip, but everyone could tell that we were happy. 

The Friday before homecoming week, Addison handed us all sheets of paper at lunch. "These are you voting ballots for homecoming prince, princess, king and queen," she explained. "Just fill them out and give them to me when you're finished."

I looked down the list of the nominees. The candidates for prince and princess were all juniors while the candidates for king and queen were seniors. Unsurprisingly, Burke, Derek, Mark, and Addison were all nominated.

"Who are you voting for?" Cristina asked, peeking over my shoulder at my ballot. "I don't know any of the juniors."

"Neither do I," I replied with a frown.

"Vote for Catherine Samson and Vic Tomkins," Mark told me. "They're really nice, and everyone else on here is just bitchy."

Izzie, George, Cristina and I all looked at each other, shrugged, and circled their names. It didn't really matter to the rest of us; we didn't really know them.

For homecoming queen, we all voted for Addison. I doubted anyone else had much of a chance anyways. Homecoming king, however, was a bit more difficult to choose.

"So Grey, who are you voting for?" Mark asked, trying and failing to be nonchalant.

I smiled at him playfully. "Burke."

He grimaced at me and I giggled. "Come on, Mark, who else do you think I'd vote for?" I showed him my ballot just in case and kissed him on the lips. "Don't worry about it, you'll get homecoming king."

"Um, sorry to burst your bubble, Mer," Addison informed me in a tone that didn't sound very sorry at all, "but Mark is not going to win. Derek is."

Cristina snorted next to me. The both of us glared at her and she glared straight back. There was no doubt in anyone's mind of who she was voting for. The boys glanced at each other nervously, unsure if they wanted to win the title after all.

"Oh Ge-orge," Addison sang, drawing the name out in two syllables. "Who are _you_ voting for?"

His eyes flashed the terror he was feeling. "I'm v-voting for B-Burke," he stammered nervously. Cristina flashed him a diplomatic smile, while Addison and I glared at him.

"What about you, Izzie?" I asked casually. "Who are you voting for?"

"Glen Thomas," she said simply. The three of us glared at her and she scoffed. "It's obvious one of you three is going to win, so I might as well give the soon-to-be loser a leg up."

She had a point, so we really couldn't rag on her about it.

As Mark walked me home, I looked him straight in the eye and smiled. "I really hope you win homecoming king," I told him.

He grinned back at me. "Just so you tell everyone that you're going out with homecoming king, huh?"

I laughed. "I'm already telling them I'm going out with the star quarterback, salutatorian, and hottest guy in school," I said coyly as I tipped forward on my toes and kissed him on the cheek. "I _guess_ I could add homecoming king to the résumé."

He laughed and kissed me back on the lips. "And I get to say that I'm dating the most beautiful girl in school."

It was a really good thing that my friends weren't there; they thought Mark and I were mushy enough as it was.

* * *

"So, just how big a deal _is_ homecoming king and queen, anyway?" I asked Joe the next day as I helped him trim the hedges of the memorial garden. Since the dissection incident, I didn't go near another scalpel, but for some reason I didn't feel whole without sharp and pointy objects in my hands. 

"It's a semi-big deal," he replied. "Not as big a deal as the mums and winning against Seattle Bay, but it's kind of up there. Everyone knows it's just a big popularity contest, though."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Mark, Derek, and Burke were all nominated."

Joe snorted. "Unsurprisingly. Addison was on there too, wasn't she?"

I nodded again. "Everyone knows that she's going to win, no contest. She's going out with Derek and has the most popular best friends. Seriously."

"Yeah, she's pretty much perfect for the role."

"Who do you think will win?" I asked.

He thought about it for a moment. "Well if it's up to pure popularity, then probably Burke just because everyone likes him. If kids vote on looks, then it's really a toss-up between Mark and Derek. I haven't met a single girl who doesn't think either of them are amazingly attractive."

Discussions on homecoming politics added to the general homecoming hubbub. Everyone already knew without a doubt that Addison was going to win; if I didn't like Addison so much, I would have felt sorry for the other girls in the running. But my fellow classmates also realized that the true competition was between Burke, Derek, and Mark. The freshman class was split between both Derek and Mark. Most of the girls voted for Derek just because they didn't like me, but some voted for Mark just to get on my good side. The guys generally voted for Mark, though, because he was an amazing quarterback. Not many voted for Burke because he wasn't quite as well known as the others, and many of them were scared of his homecoming date. I couldn't really blame them: Cristina came off as _very_ imposing.

Derek and I didn't talk again until the Wednesday before the game. I was, yet again, waiting for Mark's football practice to end, and Derek was waiting for Addison's student council meeting to be over. We sat on the wall in an awkward silence, both of us refusing to talk. After a half hour, I realized how stupid the two of us were acting, so I broke the silence.

"I'm sorry for overreacting the other day," I muttered. "It was wrong of me and I shouldn't have."

I saw him turn to me from the corner of my eye, but I refused to look back. I didn't think I could face that smile. "No, I'm the one that should be sorry," he confessed. "You're right, it's none of my business. It's just…" he trailed off and sighed.

"What?" I asked curiously.

I turned to meet his eyes and saw the unbearable sadness hidden in their blue depths. "Addison and I are having some trouble," he admitted. "We've been getting into a lot of fights lately and…it's just weird. I just didn't want you and Mark to have the issues Addison and I are having. Does that make any sense?"

I nodded. "What issues are you guys having?"

He didn't answer at first. He looked down at the ground, tracing patterns in the dirt with his toe. "She keeps saying that I'm being inattentive, and I keep telling her that she's just controlling," he explained quietly. "But I guess the real reason is that we're graduating this year, and we're both planning on going to different colleges. We've changed so much over the past two years that…I guess that we're only holding on because it's safe."

I glanced at him in surprise. I always thought that they would be that one couple in high school that managed to stick through all the way. I always imagined them getting married, working together, having beautiful, red-haired, blue-eyed children and growing old together. And every time I pictured it, I felt the tiniest pang of regret. Hearing Derek admit all of this changed my view of things entirely.

"I'm sorry," I said simply, unable to offer anything else.

He shrugged. "It's okay. It's not really your fault. But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone else. Mark kind of knows what's happening, but he doesn't know why."

"I promise."

We sat there in a silence considerably more comfortable than the earlier quiet. I sympathized with Derek; his situation with Addison was similar to mine with my mother. The two of them were drifting apart, and they were only holding on for old time's sake. I felt his pain, but a deep part of me was silently rejoicing.

**A/N - Uh-oh. Derek and Addison are having problems. What does this mean? I'd really love to hear ya'lls opinion.**

**aLayna - Unfortunately, I am still in high school, but that's about to change come May.**

**The Funny Freak - Yeah, I'm in band. I played flute my freshman year, then I switched to baritone/euphonium. I'm currently second chair, but if you ask me I should be first because our current first chair is a dick that never practices.**

**merbelle007 - Oh my gosh, seriously? What a jerk! That really sucks, I'm sorry. It kind of makes me hate Mark. Just a little.**

**CSI3Lyra - Yes, homecoming chapter is soon. In fact, homecoming game is in next chapter and homecoming dance is in chapter thirteen.**


	12. Go team!

**A/N - I think I might have forgotten to mention this in the story, but on homecoming Friday, it's free dress day (they don't have to wear their uniforms), so they usually dress up in school spirit colors. And they also wear the mums and garters to the game. Just keep that in mind.**

**Chapter 12**

"Mer?" Addison waved her hand in front of my eyes. "Mer, are you listening?"

I shook my head and my eyes unglazed as Addison's beautiful face came swimming into view. "Sorry," I smiled sheepishly. "What were you saying?"

She rolled her eyes. "I _was_ saying that I scheduled a beautifying appointment at my favorite salon on Saturday at four o'clock. We're having our hair, nails and make-up done, and trust me, they're fantastic."

I nodded, simply taking her word for it. Addison had taken over the homecoming planning; she was the one that made reservations at the Château de Marie, the one that made orders for the corsages and boutonnières (it was better that she did this; she knew the colors of everyone's dresses), and the one that picked out exactly what all the guys were wearing, down to the color of their ties.

"Are you okay, Mer?" she asked concernedly. "You've been zoning out a lot lately."

I nodded. "I'm fine."

Well, actually she was right. I had been zoning out a lot, ever since Derek told me about his relationship problems with Addison. It's like when you're in the middle of an amazing dream, and then your alarm clock goes off, waking you up and effectively smashing the delicate illusion in a million pieces.

Addison and Derek were slowly drifting apart…the delicate illusion was shattering.

I watched the two of them carefully the day after he told me about it. They weren't the type to eat each other in the hallways, but they rarely held hands. If some random person off the street saw them, he probably wouldn't think they were going out. And hey, that was okay, they just weren't into PDA. But whenever you saw them, it was almost as if they were keeping their distance on purpose. Not to mention, they had so many excuses to be apart: Addison always had to take care of some student council issue and Derek never could get away from grading something or other for Dr. Bailey (he was her teacher's assistant).

True to my word, I didn't say anything to anyone, not even Cristina. But I continued to watch their relationship in silence.

Derek and I only talked about it once since he admitted it to me.

"I feel that we're drifting apart," he said one day after school. "I feel it, but…it's weird. Everyone expects us to be together forever, you know? We're the 'it' couple or whatever, and the 'it' couple can't break up. It's socially unacceptable."

"Does she feel the same way about the relationship as you do?" I asked.

He sighed. "That's the thing," he began. "We don't communicate like we used to, so I don't know how she feels about anything. The only time we _really_ ever talk now is whenever we get in a fight."

"Then just talk to her," I urged. "All relationships are based on communication, and I'm sure the two of you could work out your problems if you just talked."

He shook his head sadly. "I don't think we can, Mer," he whispered. "We've changed…we've become two completely different people."

"But still," I protested. "There's gotta be something you can do. You can't just give up after two years. You're in love."

He eyed me curiously. "Why are you so passionate about this?" he asked. "Why does this matter to you at all? Do you really want to see Addison and me fix our problems _that_ badly?"

I went home asking myself the exact same thing.

* * *

"You…have _got_…to be _kidding me_," I said very slowly and very quietly as I stared at the mass of glittery, silvery ribbons and flowers in Mark's hand. My mum was humongous; the flower portion was made of _five_ fake chrysanthemums glued together framed with blue and white ribbons; right in the middle was a huge teddy bear, holding tiny roses with a crown around its head. Attached to the head of the mum looked to be about five hundred streamers in all, several bearing the words "Homecoming '07" and our names. There were all sorts of plastic charms glued on the ends and beads and candy and…it was just insane. 

"What do you think?" he asked with a big grin.

I stared at it in horror. "Seriously? Mark, that thing's bigger than I am!"

He kissed me on the lips. "That's your fault. You should eat more."

I glared at him and whipped out his garter from behind my back. Garters were smaller than mums with (usually) single-flowered heads and shorter streamers. I knew how much he hated really big garters, so I did my best to make him a moderately sized. It had the essentials, but still managed to look festive and school spirit-y without being annoying.

"Wow!" he cried in appreciation. "This is awesome! It's way smaller than my one last year."

"You're welcome," I shot at him. He grinned sheepishly and, after slipping his garter over his large bicep, he helped me pin my mum to the front of my shirt. Unsurprisingly, my shirt sagged under the weight of it, showing a considerable amount of skin.

"I don't think I can walk to school like this," I admitted to him.

"No problem," he said as he took my backpack from me. "I'll just drive us. Come on."

I climbed into his car, taking care to sweep the streamers in with me. The two minutes to school was spent in silence as I contemplated, in horror, the reaction my mum would illicit from my friends.

When we pulled into the school parking lot, I saw in relief that I wasn't the only one with a gigantic mum. Some girls were walking around with huge heart shaped mums, and masses and masses of streamers loaded with everything. Mark helped me out of the car, taking care not to step on the ribbons.

As usual, I met George, Izzie, and Cristina in the commons that morning. George was wearing his blue and white garter with pride, and Izzie was displaying the double mum pinned to a pair of spiritedly decorated overalls. Cristina was holding Burke's garter on a hanger, looking surprisingly normal in a blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Wow, Meredith!" Izzie exclaimed when she saw me. "Your mum is huge!"

I smiled wryly. "Trust me, I know."

Mark stopped to quickly peck me on the cheek. "I have to go make up a Calculus test. I'll see you later okay?" I nodded and with one last squeeze of the hand, he walked off.

"Seriously, Mer, that thing is ridiculous," Cristina said as she eyed the thing with disgust.

"Where's Burke?" I asked, not bothering to respond.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I told him to meet me here so he could get his garter."

"You're gonna look pretty stupid walking around with a garter on a hanger if he doesn't show up soon," George declared, voicing very bluntly what the rest of us had been thinking.

"Shut up, Bambi, I know," Cristina growled.

"Maybe you should wear it if he doesn't show up," he said, ignoring the slight at his apparent innocence.

Izzie, Cristina and I just turned to stare at him and he shrugged. "Just a suggestion."

A few minutes later, Burke strolled into the commons with a double mum attached to a hanger. "Hello, Cristina," he said pleasantly as he handed her the hanger.

"Hi," she replied shortly. They exchanged hangers and Cristina held out her closed fist. "Oh, and I remembered you complaining about keeping garters on and stuff, so I got you some safety pins. You know, just in case."

Burke gave her a very white smile that contrasted handsomely against his dark skin. "Thank you." He took the pins from her and slipped them in his pocket.

"You're welcome."

After he slipped his garter on and she managed to pin her mum to her shirt, they exchanged an awkward hug (slightly blocked by her mum) and parted ways.

The rest of the morning was hectic; people were looking everywhere for their dates, hoping to give them their mum/garter before the bell rang. Some were already beginning to fall apart, and some were already shedding ribbons and plastic charms on the ground. Joe wouldn't like cleaning this up, I thought to myself with a smile.

I walked into English class that morning, the jingling of the huge cowbell on one of the ribbons announcing my arrival. Alex lifted his head and smirked when he saw me.

"Nice mum," he commented.

"Shut up," I retorted. After I sat down (rather awkwardly, because the mum head jutted out about a foot from my chest and pressed against the desk) I turned to him. "I notice you don't have a garter."

"That's because there wasn't really anyone worth me asking," he said confidently.

I rolled my eyes. "Sure. Whatever."

Lunch that day was fun. By that time, my mum had started to grow on me (there were so many cool little things on it) and Izzie, Cristina, Addison and I were comparing them. George was having trouble keeping his garter attached to his sleeve (Izzie made his really rather large) and Mark kept blowing the whistle I attached on one of the streamers.

"What do you think of the garter I made Derek?" Addison asked us as she gestured proudly to the collection of ribbons and flowers on Derek's arm. He sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.

"Wow, it's huge," Izzie said in awe. "I love it."

"Isn't it?" Addison declared excitedly. "I really outdid myself this year."

"I'll say," Derek mumbled under his breath. I caught it, but I doubted anyone else at the table had. I glanced at him worriedly. He saw me and shrugged, as if to say, "It's her thing."

* * *

Mark couldn't leave the school grounds before the game, so he kissed me before going off to practice, promising that he would look for me in the stands during the game. 

When I got home, Mom was sitting at the kitchen table with her newspaper and her cup of tea, as usual. "Hi, Mom," I said cautiously as I entered the kitchen.

She took one look at me, then burst into hysterical laughter. I stood there in the entrance to the kitchen in confusion, wondering why she was laughing so hard. "Is that your mum?" she managed to gasp between laughs.

I nodded, feeling a smile tug at the corners of my lips. Her laughter was contagious. "Yeah," I replied sheepishly. "Mark went a little overboard, I guess…"

Her laughs finally died down, but there was still a smile in her eyes. "Wow, I remember my mum my freshman year," she said reminiscently. "Of course, it was nowhere as big as yours," she said, eyeing my mum with amusement, "but it was nice."

"Who did you go with?" I asked curiously. I had never heard my mother talk the social aspect of her high school experience.

"I went with a boy named Austin Schaefli," she said, her eyes glazing over. I had the feeling that she no longer remembered I was in the room. "I thought he was the cutest boy in school, too. So when he asked me to homecoming, I was so excited. He made me the nicest mum…"

I watched my mother in fascination. "Then what happened?"

She sighed. "I found out he was real nerd," she said disappointedly. "We didn't share any of the same interests."

"Oh," I said. A contemplative silence descended over us.

Cristina's mother came by later that night to pick me up to take Izzie, Cristina, George and me to the game. We left Izzie and George to chatter with Mrs. Yang while Cristina and I talked quietly in the backseat.

"So are you meeting with Burke at the game?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yeah, he said it would be easier that way."

"What did you mother think of your mum?"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "She loved it, so I couldn't see it the same way anymore."

I chuckled. "You know, you're mother's really not all that bad," I told her and she stared at me with incredulous disbelief. "Seriously. At least she cares."

When we got to the game, we flashed our IDs to the ticket stands and entered the stadium. Izzie and George wanted to mill around and talk to the friends they found around the huge hill overlooking the football field. Cristina and I made our way to the stands and found seats right in the middle, with a great vantage point of the field.

"Cristina! Meredith!" We looked up and found Addison, Derek, and Burke making their way to sit with us. Burke took the seat next to Cristina and I made room for Addison and Derek. "How are you two?" she asked as she ducked in to give us a quick hug.

"Good," we replied simultaneously.

We talked a little while, until Addison decided to get up and get some hot chocolate. Cristina and Burke started talking about something political which didn't really interest me, leaving me to talk with Derek.

"How are you, tonight?" I asked him pleasantly.

He shrugged with a small smile. "Okay, I guess."

I recognized the sound in his voice. "Uh-oh. You and Addison got in a fight, didn't you?"

He sighed. "It was over something so stupid too! She asked me if I liked my garter, and I told her very plainly that I didn't because I don't like really big garters. Then she got all defensive and then one thing led to another…ugh. I wasn't going to _lie_ to her, because she _knew_ that I—whatever. It was stupid."

I smiled sympathetically and rubbed his back. "It's okay. She should have listened to you."

He returned the smile. "Thanks."

Something unspoken, yet powerful passed between us in that moment. In that demonstration of companionship and silent understanding, I grew closer to him than I ever thought possible.

"You know," he said, his eyes shining with a seriousness that made my heart pound, "it really means a lot to me. Being able to confide in you and all. It's nice."

I nodded, ignoring the pink flush I knew had spread across my cheeks. "I'll always be here for you, Derek. After all," I added with a wink, "we are friends, right?"

He nodded with a smile. He shifted imperceptibly closer and I shivered. "Are you cold?" he asked in concern.

No, I thought to myself as he draped the sweater he had been carrying over my shoulders. I'm very, very warm.

**A/N - There were several concerns raised about Mark's fidelity to Meredith, and I would like to address those now. Mark will not be cheating on Meredith. Believe it or not, he actually does love her and he wants her to know that, so he will not be cheating on Meredith with Addison. ADDISON AND MARK ARE JUST FRIENDS. Thank you. And for those of you who hate either Mark or Addison (or both) just bear with me. You will be very happy semi-sometime soon.**

**Next chapter is the dance, and I'm so excited. I bet you guys are too.**

**merbelle007 - Ugh, amen sister friend. I am so over the high school drama. But it's fun to write about.**

**mcobssessed - Nah, fish aren't on the ballot. At my school, they don't really count for much, and as you've probably already realized, I'm basing this story off of my own high school experiences. So unfortunately, Meredith can't be homecoming queen.**

**Alayna - Being an incoming freshman once myself, I will impart a bit of knowledge to you. Everyone's going to tell you that high school will the be the best years of your life, and I will tell you right now that they're not. You'll have a fun time and all, but there's a bigger world than high school, I promise. Just focus on surviving and you should be fine.**


	13. Words Unsaid part I

**A/N - While you're reading, I'm just gonna get an umbrella right quick...**

**Chapter 13**

I heard a loud honk outside of the house. My mother looked up at me. "Are those your friends?" she asked and I nodded. I had told her last minute about the whole getting ready for the homecoming dance thing, but surprisingly, she didn't mind. She only shrugged and said that I had to be home by one. Not like she would have been at home to see if I made curfew or not, but it was the principle of the thing.

"Do you have everything you need?" she asked. I glanced at her, surprised by her concern.

"Yeah, I have everything," I told her, holding up the bag my dress was in and my purse and shoes. "Do you want me to call you when I get home or…?"

She shook her head. "No, that's fine. I might be in the middle of surgery or something."

I nodded. "Okay, Mom. See you tomorrow then."

"Bye. Have a nice time."

I rushed out the door without a backward glance. Izzie was sticking her head out of the passenger's side window and waving like crazy. "Come on Mer! We'll be late for our appointment!"

I laughed and slid into the backseat next to Cristina. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere else than on the way to some beauty boutique to get her hair, nails, and makeup done, but Addison refused to let her out of this. I felt her pain; I wasn't quite sure what to expect and whether or not I'd like it when it happened.

"So after we get all of this done, we're going to my house to change. The boys will pick us up there, the parentals will do the whole picture thing, then we'll go to the restaurant," Addison told us. "Sound good?"

"Yup," we all replied.

The ride to the boutique wasn't very long, and when we got there, Izzie's, Cristina's, and my jaws dropped simultaneously. Addison laughed at the looks on our faces. "I know it looks imposing, but it's the best place ever."

Imposing was an understatement. The minute I entered the place, I wished I had worn my dress inside after all. The décor was sophisticated chic; the countertops were made of black granite, the floor was tiled with black and white checkered patterns, and mirrors lined every single inch of wall space. The beauticians were dressed to match in white shirts, black dress slacks, and shiny black waterproof aprons.

"Addison!" one of them squealed when she spotted our friend. Addison's face lit up in glee.

"Haley!" she cried back with arms wide open. The two of them hugged each other tightly for about a minute before pulling away.

"So, what's the occasion?" Haley asked, eyeing the rest of us. Izzie looked friendly and inviting as usual, and Cristina looked adamant and disgusted. I just felt shy.

"Homecoming," Addison replied.

Haley winked at her. "No problem, babe. We've got ya'll covered." She raised her arm in the air and made a little gesture. Three other beauticians appeared out of thin air, took us each by the arm, and carted us off somewhere.

I glanced at the pale, pixie-like creature that had claimed me. "Hi," she said enthusiastically. "My name is Emily. Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

I tried my hardest to smile back at her, but it was difficult. Her hair was short, spiky, and bubblegum pink and her makeup was extremely dark. She laughed when she saw my horrified face. "Don't worry, I won't make you look like me if, unless that's what you want."

I shook my head slowly and let her lead me into a backroom.

It turned out, Emily was a nice girl. A little too enthusiastic for my taste, but pretty nice. She French manicured my nails and toes (which I had to admit felt really nice), pinned my hair up in an elegant up-do, and carefully painted my face to bring out my eyes.

When she was finished, she turned the chair around so I could see myself in the mirror. My eyes widened at the affect. Emily brushed a dark gray shade over my eyelids to bring out tint in my blue-green eyes, and my cheeks seemed brighter, and more colorful. The finishing touch was my painted pink lips with shimmering gold sparkles.

"Wow," I breathed. "Thanks, Emily."

She winked at me. "No problem, sweetie. You go and knock 'em dead."

Apparently I had taken the longest. When I walked out into the lobby, Addison, Izzie, and Cristina were already standing there waiting for me. All of them were sporting fresh French manicures and beautifully enhanced faces. "Finally!" Addison exclaimed. "What took so long?"

I shrugged. Addison handed the register girl her credit card and we left, careful not to let our hair get messed up by the wind.

Twenty minutes later we stopped right in front of a mansion, not quite as big as Derek's, but still nothing to sneeze at. Cristina and I exchanged glances and sighed. We should have known they were rich; they were just too perfect for their own good.

With our dresses draped over our arms, Addison introduced us to her parents and led us upstairs to her room. We had approximately thirty minutes until the boys showed up, and some of the zippers and snaps were complicated. It took us a while to figure out how to get Addison's dress on, but when we finally did, the effect was amazing. When our dresses were all on, Addison went through her jewelry collection and managed to find us each something to wear.

"Ooh, what about this for you, Mer?" Izzie asked as she held up the finest gold chain in the world, with a tiny diamond pendant hanging from it. She held it up against my neck and I tilted my head to examine the effect. The chain was miniscule, almost invisible; the diamond pendant glinted against the base of my throat and complemented my dress and my makeup quite nicely.

Addison coughed. "Um, I would actually appreciate it if you didn't wear that one," she said quietly as she gently pried the pendant from Izzie's hands.

"Oh, of course," Izzie said quickly. "Really expensive?"

"Uh, no. Derek gave this one to me on our anniversary," Addison replied, quietly.

I felt a pang tug at my heartstrings. Derek gave it to her…

She still loved him. But they were drifting away.

I wasn't given much time to examine the pained look on her face. Several moments later, the doorbell rang and Izzie jumped. "Omigosh, they're here!" she cried in excitement. Quickly, she rushed to the pile of shoeboxes next to Addison's door, found hers, and strapped them on. The rest of us followed her lead and carefully descended down the stairs, pretending like we could walk in these killer heels and pretending like we didn't care that they finally showed up. In reality, my heart was pounding a disjointed rhythm, unable to slow down.

We heard a low whistle and looked into the foyer. The boys were all looking at us in appreciation and wonder. Mark was smiling at me, seemingly oblivious to everyone else in the room. I wished I could have been the same, but Derek's blue eyes flickered my way and sent my heart into overdrive.

When I reached the base of the stairs, Mark approached me and took my hands in his. "You look amazing," he breathed. I flushed at his compliment.

"Thank you," I replied. "You look pretty incredible yourself."

We all voiced our compliments to each other: Izzie and George gushed, Burke and Cristina nodded at each other with faint smiles playing on their lips, and Addison and Derek admired each other's appearance very politely. Mark didn't say another word, just kissed me lightly on the tip of my nose.

"Alright kids! Let's get some pictures!" Mr. Montgomery announced as he walked in with a digital camera in his hands.

We all gathered around, standing next to our respective dates. Addison's parents took several group shots, then a few couple shots. Burke and Cristina went first; they stood on the very lowest stair with Burke's left hand around Cristina's waist and his right hand holding hers. She would never admit it in a million years, but his touch triggered a deep flush to spread across her cheeks and the smile she gave the camera was completely genuine. I felt so happy for her in that moment.

After Addison complained that they were taking too many pictures, we grabbed our purses and coats and headed out the door. George and Izzie rode with Burke and Cristina, while Addison headed out to her boyfriend's car and Mark led me to his.

"You all took separate cars?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

He smiled. "I wanted some alone time with my beautiful girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?"

Dinner was amusing; it was just like any other lunch at school, only in formal attire and with better food. Burke and Cristina stayed away from all subjects of political controversy, and Izzie and George restrained themselves from throwing food at each other. Addison and Derek didn't really look like they were talking at all. I wanted to reach out to Derek and start a conversation with him, but Mark had all my attention. At that moment, he was telling me his college options.

"What do you want to major in?" I asked, trying my hardest to keep my gaze on Mark.

"Medicine, hopefully," he told me. "I've always done well in math and science, so I thought that maybe I should be a doctor. Particularly a surgeon, like on all those TV dramas."

"Why?" I asked. He now fully had my attention.

He shrugged. "I like the rush, you know? The adrenaline pumping in my veins, living in that prolonged moment, and in that moment alone is the single greatest feeling in the world. I've only felt it in football, but surgery's gotta be the same thing. You're saving someone's _life_. It must be amazing."

"My mother's a surgeon," I supplied. "If you want, you could ask her what it's like and if she could write you a recommendation or something. She's pretty well known in the surgical community, so they'd listen to her opinion."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up. "You'd really do that?"

I smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. "Of course. You're my boyfriend."

After dinner, we headed back to school for the dance. It was being held in the old gym, but there was this huge long line leading into it. We talked all the while we waited in line. At one point, the cold night air got to be too much for my tiny little shawl, so Mark shrugged off his coat and draped it across my shoulders. It forcefully reminded me of Derek doing the exact same thing the night before, and I shivered again at the memory.

The music was already blaring through the larger-than-life speakers set up at the front of the gym when we got in. Addison immediately pulled us onto the dance floor and we all started dancing to the heavy hip hop. Izzie jumped into it immediately, bringing George with her. It took longer for Cristina to loosen up, but when she did, she lit up the dance floor. Burke was surprised at her obvious display of rhythm, but didn't let it throw him off. He danced right along with her, a big grin gracing his face the entire time.

I was a little self conscious as first about my dancing, but after I saw Cristina completely let loose, I decided to do the same. I danced my heart out and laughed the whole time. Mark had his arms wrapped around me most of the time, his face nuzzling the crook of my neck and my shoulder.

Two hours into the dance, the DJ announced, "If the homecoming court would please step onto the stage! If the homecoming court would please step onto the stage!" Mark squeezed my hand tightly before walking to the front of the gym with Burke, Derek, and Addison.

The homecoming court stood there under the bright spotlights, smiling and waving at the rest of us peons. Mark sought my face in the crowd and smiled that special smile he reserved just for me. I smiled widely back, but I caught Derek watching us from the corner of my eye. I tried to shove this little piece of information in the back of my mind.

Mrs. Suarez, the vice Principal, walked onto the stage with a big envelope in her hands. "Your homecoming prince is Vic Tompkins, and your homecoming princess is Catherine Samson!"

We applauded politely as their friends whooped and hollered as Mrs. Suarez continued. "And your homecoming king and queen…Derek Shepherd and Addison Montgomery!"

Izzie, George, Cristina and I cheered the loudest out of everyone. The losers on the stage clapped politely as Derek and Addison were crowned and handed their scepter and bouquet. "And now it's time for the homecoming court dance!" the DJ announced. The two of them stepped off the stage and made their way to the center. He took her in his arms protectively and she rested her head against his shoulder as the opening notes of _Stairway to Heaven_ began playing.

Mark found me and wordlessly took me in his arms. We danced silently, him resting his head in my hair and me resting my cheek against his chest. We rotated slowly as we swayed back and forth and for the briefest moment Derek's blue eyes met my gaze and we couldn't look away.

It felt wrong…it felt wrong that he was dancing with another woman, and I was in the arms of another man.

I tried to shake such thoughts from my head. I had a boyfriend…a very sweet, kind and caring boyfriend who loved me. He _loved_ me. I told him I would love him back eventually, and that was what I planned to do.

I closed my eyes and eventually lost myself in the moment. It felt nice, dancing with Mark; it was safe. Unfortunately, the peace couldn't last.

"Damn it, Derek, what is wrong with you!" Addison exclaimed angrily. "Why do you _always_ have to act like this?" Tears were dangerously close to spilling over her eyelids.

"There is nothing wrong with me, Addison, and you're making a scene," he replied tiredly. "Come one, let's just—"

"No! Derek, no! I'm done trying to make you care! I'm leaving!" I only realized that Mark and I had stopped dancing when she walked up to the two of us. "I'm really sorry, Meredith, but I have to leave right now. Do you mind if Mark drove me home?"

Her eyes were riddled with pain and her smile was completely gone. There was no way in the world I could refuse. "Of course, go ahead." Mark nodded, kissed me on the forehead and took Addison out to the parking lot after promising to call me later.

When they left the gym, I turned around only to catch Derek walking swiftly out the exit. Every voice in my head told me not to follow him, not to go after him…but I didn't listen. I followed him quickly out to the parking lot in my precariously high heels.

"Derek!" I called. "Derek, wait!"

He stopped right next to his car. He was hunched over, trying to breathe. "I can't do this anymore, Meredith," he whispered in a broken voice. "I can't do this with her. We're just not the same…we're not what we used to be."

I reached out to touch his shoulder, but he jerked away.

"I need to get home," he declared. "I need to clear my head." And before I could say anything, he unlocked his car and climbed in. My heart broke as he shifted his car into reverse and backed out of the parking spot.

Then, time itself stopped.

As Derek was turning into the intersection right at the entrance of the school, a speeding pick up truck came out of nowhere, ignored the red light, and drove faster and faster…

…right into Derek's car.

**A/N - Okay, now before I open this umbrella and you start hurling tomatoes at me, I would just like to say that this is the worst of the cliffhangers I have in store. I will try and update as qucikly as I can, but that requires cooperation on your part (i.e. loads and loads of reviews). So please, tell me what you think.**

**You may now commence with the tomato throwing. Or you could just be nice and review.**


	14. Words Unsaid part II

**Chapter 14**

My heart stopped beating in that moment. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe…

"Oh my God," I whispered in horror. All other thoughts were wiped from my mind as I ripped my shoes off and ran as fast as I could to the intersection. "Derek!" I shouted hysterically. "Derek, oh my God, please…"

With trembling hands, I reached into my purse and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed nine-one-one as fast as I could and pressed the receiver against my ear. The front of the truck was smashed against the driver's side of Derek's car, right in between the front and backseat.

"Hello?" a cool, polite female voice answered on the other end.

"Nine-one-one? I need an ambulance here immediately," I demanded in a breathless rush. "Someone just crashed into my friend's car, and…he's unconscious, he's unconscious. I need an ambulance, please!"

"Calm down," the voice said in an infuriatingly slow way. Why wasn't she sending an ambulance? Derek was bleeding, damn it! "Where are you?"

"I'm at Seattle Grace Prepatory High School," I replied, trembling. "Right in the intersection of the school's entrance."

"Okay, we're sending an ambulance your way."

"Thank you," I said shortly as I closed my phone and stuffed it in my purse. I looked at the scene in helpless, terrified jitters. I couldn't leave him in there. He might have been suffocating under the airbag. Without really thinking the situation through, I reached into the open window of the truck, unlocked the driver's side door, shoved the unconscious driver into the passenger's seat, and climbed in. I had never driven a car before, but I knew the basics. After shifting the thing into reverse, I backed the truck off Derek's car and put it in park.

I looked into the driver's side window and felt my eyes well up in tears at Derek's bleeding body. The airbag had kept his back pressed against the chair, but several shards of glass were piercing the skin on his face, and I hadn't even seen the damage to the rest of his body.

"Oh my God," I gasped in horror. The door was already barely hanging on its hinges, so I pushed the metal frame aside and, with a strength I hadn't known I possessed, carried his wounded body out of the car seat. He wasn't breathing.

"Derek," I whispered. "Oh, Derek, please don't, please don't…" I couldn't finish my plea. I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

Quickly, I checked for neck and head injuries. He was bleeding from several piercing wounds in the head, but they seemed pretty shallow and his neck seemed perfectly intact. So, I spread him gently over the ground and began CPR. I heard my mother's voice the day she took me to get my CPR certification in my head. She directed my movements and my actions clearly and decisively and I performed them as best as I could with shaking hands.

After two rounds, I heard him faintly breathing and watched his chest rise and fall. A cold sweat of relief swept over my body as I felt his faint pulse. He was alive and breathing…oh thank God.

Not long afterwards, two ambulances equipped with two paramedics each came. A pair of them jumped out of the back of one of the vans and pulled out a stretcher. "What happened?" one of them asked as he approached me.

"The truck crashed into his car," I explained. "I pulled him out and he wasn't breathing, so I did CPR. He's breathing now, and I can feel a pulse."

The two paramedics nodded. "What about the other guy? The truck driver?"

"He's still in there," I pointed. "In the passenger's seat."

The other two paramedics nodded then headed to the truck. My paramedics gently lifted Derek onto the stretcher and strapped him in. "Do you want to come?" one of them asked me and I nodded emphatically, no longer able to speak.

I climbed into the ambulance and the two paramedics wheeled Derek in as well. The female climbed into the driver's seat and the male stayed in the back with Derek.

"He's breathing very faintly," he informed me. "The wounds to his head are minor, but there might be more head trauma than that. He also has a really bad side piercing," he added as he pointed to it. I nodded, trying to keep the tears in.

"It looks like he's broken a couple of ribs too. And his leg…" as the paramedic ran his hand over the swelling Derek groaned.

I brought my hand to his forehead and swept the blood drenched hair from his face. "Shh, I'm here, Derek," I whispered as soothingly as I could. "I'm here for you. Hang in there."

"It hurts," he whimpered. My heart broke at the pain in his voice.

"I know," I replied, in a husky, stammering tone. "I know, but we're getting you to the hospital, okay? You're going to be just fine, I promise." I looked up at the paramedic sitting across from me. "You're taking us to Mercy West, right?"

The paramedic nodded.

"Can you page surgeons?"

He nodded again in bewilderment.

"Page Dr. Grey," I said, the urgency ringing in my voice. "Tell her there's a nine-one-one in the pit."

When we got to the hospital, my mother was standing out there, waiting for us. Her eyes widened when she saw me. "Meredith?" she asked in horror. "What happened? Did you get in an accident?"

"We've got a teenage boy, car crash victim," the paramedic informed her as he unloaded the stretcher from the ambulance. "Caught by an oncoming vehicle. He's sustained several broken ribs, a broken leg, a side piercing and possible head trauma."

My mom glanced down at Derek. "This isn't Mark."

"No, it's Derek," I said hurriedly as she and I rolled the gurney into the ICU. "He's my friend. You have to help him."

She nodded. "Did anything else happen?"

"He wasn't breathing when I pulled him out of the car, so I administered CPR."

She nodded again. "Alright, Meredith, I've got it from here. We have to run a couple of tests. If he needs surgery, I'll tell you. In the meantime, I want you to get in contact with his family and tell them what's happened to their son."

I felt a surge of instant gratitude toward my mother. I loved her so much right then and there, and I knew from that moment on that Derek was in the safest hands on the west coast; if anyone could save his life, it was Ellis Grey.

When I got to the waiting room, my trembling knees collapsed into the nearest chair. I couldn't hold myself up anymore. Not long after I closed my eyes, my phone rang in my purse. It jolted me out of the severity of the situation and reminded me of where exactly I was. "Hello?" I answered.

"Meredith?" Cristina's worried voice asked on the other end. "Where are you? Mark's with me right now and he's flipping out—"

"Derek got in a car crash," I informed her, letting the exhaustion creep into my voice. The sudden adrenaline rush had left me completely worn-out. "I called the ambulance and they brought him here to Mercy West."

"Oh my gosh, are you serious?" Cristina asked in awe. "What happened? Are you alright? Is Derek alright?"

"I'm fine, but Derek's not," I told her. "He was in his car when a truck ran the red light and slammed into the side of his car." I heard Mark's worried voice in the background. I could have only imagined what Cristina's side of the conversation sounded like right then. "Let me talk to Mark."

I heard several raised voices as she passed the phone to my boyfriend. "Meredith? Are you okay?" he demanded. "What happened? Where are you?"

"Calm down," I sighed. "I'm at Mercy West Hospital right now. Derek got in a car crash and I rode the ambulance here with him. Is Addison okay?"

He completely ignored my question. "Oh my God, Derek got in a car crash? What happened? Are you okay?"

I sighed. "I'm fine, Mark. Derek's really beaten up, but my mom's working on him, so he'll be fine too. Is Addison okay?"

"Yeah," he replied breathlessly, still too shocked to believe it. "She's really upset. She was crying the whole way home and I couldn't even ask her what happened. Did Derek tell you anything?"

"No," I sighed.

"Should I call her and tell her what happened to Derek?"

"No," I said firmly. "She needs her rest, so let her sleep. She'll end up feeling really guilty about it if you tell her now. Wait until tomorrow, okay? You should probably be getting some sleep too."

"What about you?" he asked. "Will you get home safely?"

"Yeah," I replied. "My mom's here, so I'll be okay. Oh, do you know how I can reach his parents?" I added the question as an afterthought.

"Yeah," he said and he waited for me to borrow a pen from someone who was sitting next to me. He recited the number as I wrote it down on my hand.

"Thanks," I told him gratefully. It spared me a lot of time trying to find out his parents' number.

"No problem," he replied. "So, first thing in the morning, I'm going to go over there and visit him, and then tell Addison later in the afternoon so she can digest it."

"Sounds good."

"Alright then. Be safe, okay? I love you."

I hung up. I couldn't say those words back to him. Not tonight.

Glancing up, I realized I was getting really strange looks from the rest of the people in the waiting room. I must look really weird, I thought to myself with an exhausted sigh. Here I am, sitting in a beautiful homecoming gown, holding my shoes and a purse, covered in blood.

Deciding to disregard their raised eyebrows, I flipped my phone open and dialed the number Mark gave me. The line rang three times before someone picked up. "Hello?" a muffled voice asked warily.

"Um, hello. Is this Mr. Shepherd?"

"Yes…?"

I took a deep breath. I didn't want to do this, but I was the one there at the crash site. If anyone was going to do this, it had to be me. "Mr. Shepherd, I'm Meredith Grey, one of Derek's friends. Your son got into an accident when he tried to leave the dance tonight." I winced at my phraseology. It was so callous and blunt, but it could hardly be helped.

I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end. "Is he alright?" Mr. Shepherd choked out on the other end.

"He's in rough shape," I admitted softly. "An ambulance brought him here to Mercy West. The doctors are running some tests on him now to see exactly how bad the damage is and how to proceed."

"He's at Mercy West?" the terrified voice asked. "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can. What did you say your name was again?"

"Meredith Grey," I replied, a little uncomfortable.

"Thank you so much, Meredith. I'll be there soon." A dry click told me he had hung up.

Taking in a deep, tired sigh, I rested my elbows on my knees and my forehead on the heels of my hands. How did tonight turn out to be such a disaster? It was ironic, really; instead of dancing the night away with my friends like I had expected to do, I was sitting in a hospital waiting room, holding my breath for any news of Derek and his condition.

A half hour later, a harassed looking man with shadowed cheeks and a rumpled, just-jumped-out-of-bed appearance ran out of the elevators and to the nurse's station. "Um, I'm James Shepherd. My son got in an accident, his name is Derek Shepherd. Do you know where he is?"

The bored looking nurse just glanced at him. "Yeah, they admitted him here an hour ago. They're running some tests on him to assess the damage. Please have a seat."

Mr. Shepherd turned to face the waiting room and I offered him a nervous smile and waved. "Hello, Mr. Shepherd."

"Meredith Grey?" he asked anxiously. "Where is he? Where's my son?"

I got up and helped him into the seat next to me. "It's okay, Mr. Shepherd," I said as soothingly as I could. "The doctors just took him to get a few CT scans to see the extent of his injuries. My mother should be coming back any moment now to tell us."

"Your mother?" he asked. "Your mother is a doctor?"

"She's the chief resident here," I replied informing him of her title to help calm him down a bit. "She'll do everything she can."

He turned to me and I was suddenly struck by the similarities in their looks. He had the same deep blue eyes as his son, only with more laugh lines crinkling the corners. "Were you there?" he demanded. "Did you see it happen?"

I swallowed with difficulty and nodded. "Yes," I replied quietly. "I was there."

"Were you the one that called the ambulance?"

I nodded again, unable to reply.

Then, without warning, he spread his arms and enveloped me in a warm, grateful hug. I blushed, unable to shoulder his gratitude. "Thank you so much," he whispered brokenly in my ear. "Thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you."

"You don't have to," I mumbled, awkwardly. "Derek's my friend."

At that moment, my mother walked into the waiting room. I pulled myself gently out of Mr. Shepherd's thankful embrace. "Are you Mr. Shepherd?" my mother asked, a gentleness creeping into her voice that I had never heard before.

"Yes," he replied hurriedly. "How is Derek?"

"He's got a piercing wound in the side, ripping several of his organs. We also ran a CT scan to check for head injuries and found some bleeding in the brain. We'll need to perform surgery quickly to solve the problem."

Mr. Shepherd's face visibly blanched. "Will he be okay?" he managed to choke out.

She offered him a sympathetic smile. "There's always a risk when performing any surgery, but we do have the best surgical staff in Washington, so we will do everything we can. You'll need to fill out some paperwork while you wait. Meredith will keep you updated on his progress." Then she turned to me and gestured for me to follow her.

**A/N - You know, I thought about being a total bitch and not updating for weeks, but I decided to be nice after all. :-P Consider yourselves lucky.**

**I'm sad to say I didn't really do very thorough research, so some of the scenarios in this chapter might not seem realistic. I'm sorry, but I hope you'll overlook some of the factual errors. This chapter was sort of like the middle, I guess. Last chapter, this chapter and next chapter is probably equivalent to a three episode story arch on Grey's, so there'll kind of be a more satisfying conclusion. Not necessrily the end of the story, just more like the end of an interstory. I really need this chapter and next to sort of resolve the rift between Meredith and her mother. That was another thing I wanted to accomplish with this fic; a resolution of conflicting views between mother and daughter. Thanks for all of your wonderful reviews! It's good to know you guys were so concerned for Derek. :)**

**merbelle007 - I come from a school full of ridiculously rich kids too, and we always have our homecoming in our gym. It's tradition, I guess, but it's really nice. And honestly, I don't think anyone was expecting that ending.**

**Allie616 - I got the name Haley from a really good friend of mine, but she spells it differently. And _Stairway to Heaven_ is a famous song by Led Zeppelin that they always play as the last song at every single dance at my school.**

**CSI3Lyra - Haha, the shoes will not be necessary. -takes cookie- Thank you!**

**mcobsessed - Yeah, usually the homecoming game is on Friday night and the dance is on Saturday night the next day.**


	15. Words Unsaid part III

**Chapter 15 **

I followed my mother through the labyrinth of hallways that was Mercy West Hospital. "I want you to watch in the gallery," she informed me as I ran to keep up with her. "I'll be communicating with you through that intercom. I also want you to tell Mr. Shepherd of his son's condition every hour."

"Even if…" my throat closed up, "…even if he isn't doing so well?"

She nodded quietly when we got into the elevator. After a short pause, she said, "There really isn't anything to worry about, Meredith. We have the best neurologists in the nation working on him. We'll do everything we can."

I nodded, unable to say anything. The thought of Derek's skull cracked open in the middle of a surgical table haunted me. I tried my hardest to keep my tears at bay.

Without another word, I followed my mother into the scrub room adjacent to the OR. She pointed to a set of stairs and I climbed them into the gallery. Already seated with bags of stale popcorn and Styrofoam cups of cold coffee were several other surgeons, excitedly waiting for another amazing surgery performed by the famous Ellis Grey.

One of them spotted me. "Hey, what are you doing here? No unauthorized personnel allowed anywhere near the OR."

I took the empty seat in the middle of the front row, not bothering to glance back at the curious surgeons. "My mom told me to watch up here," I replied simply.

"Who's your mom?"

"Ellis Grey."

I heard them whisper to each other and saw them shoot me curious glances, but I tried my hardest to ignore them. The only people in the world that mattered to me at that moment were all in that OR, standing over Derek's wounded and sedated body.

"Meredith?" the speaker in the gallery crackled. "Can you hear me? Press the red button and speak into the intercom if you can."

I walked next to it and held down the little red button as I replied, "Yes, Mom. I can hear you."

"Good," she replied. "Just sit down and watch for now. I'll tell you when to update Mr. Shepherd and what to tell him."

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. I sat back down, trying to ignore the important surgeons, staring at me with a newfound respect I didn't deserve. Instead, I focused on my mother.

The surgery lasted fourteen hours straight. I watched in amazement as my mother fixed the wound in his side and set the broken ribs and leg. Dr. Hamilton, the head of neurology, spoke calmly and rationally as he drilled into Derek's head to drain the blood. I didn't feel as queasy as I expected to, but it was still hard to stomach. Derek, however, pulled through like a true fighter and I breathed a sigh of relief when Dr. Hamilton announced he was going to make it through.

I reported to Mr. Shepherd hourly, informing him of his son's progress. Halfway through the surgery, Mrs. Shepherd joined him along with what seemed like half the senior class. When I told them that he had made it through and that the doctors expected him to make a full recovery, Mrs. Shepherd, like her husband before her, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me.

"Thank you," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks and into my hair. "Thank you so much for saving my boy."

I patted her on the back awkwardly. I didn't do well with people thanking me. It was weird.

When she finally pulled away, Burk, Cristina, Izzie, and George stepped forward from the throng of people. "Omigosh, Mer, are you okay?" Izzie asked, taking in my rumpled appearance.

I nodded, suddenly feeling the effects of extreme exhaustion. "What time is it?"

"Two p.m.," Burke replied.

"Where's Mark?" I asked, remembering his promise to come first thing in the morning.

"He was here this morning," George told me. "Then around noon he tried calling Addison but she wasn't picking up her phone, so he decided to go over there."

"He said he would come back as soon as he knew that she was okay," Cristina finished.

I felt a little miffed. His best friend got in a car crash and he was worried about _Addison_? I knew she was feeling weird and she probably wasn't taking the news of Derek's almost death very well, but they were _best_ friends. Derek needed Mark now more than ever.

I stayed with the huge crowd in the waiting room for a little while, answering their questions with as few words and descriptions as I could. It was bad enough that I had to live through the experience once; I couldn't do it again.

Two hours later, my mom walked into the waiting room and informed us that Derek woke up. Everyone stood up hopefully, wanting to get a quick glance at him and bombard him with millions of questions, but my mom held her hand up and announced firmly, "Please, immediate family only at this point. It's too soon for so many visitors."

Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd stood up and followed my mom to his hospital room when Mrs. Shepherd doubled back and grabbed me by the hand. "I'm sure he'd want to see you too, sweetie," she told me.

"Oh, no," I said quickly. "You should go in first, you're his parents—"

"Nonsense," Mr. Shepherd said, looking at me with a fond smile. "You saved his life. We insist."

I reluctantly followed them into Derek's room. My eyes welled over and my throat closed up at the sight of him in a bed, his beautiful blue eyes slightly clouded and a bandage wrapped around his head.

"Mom?" he whispered hoarsely. "Dad?"

"Hey, kid," Mr. Shepherd said tenderly as he stood at his son's bedside. I shrank out of sight on the couch right next to the door, feeling like an outsider. I shouldn't have been there.

"You gave us a real scare back there, sweetie," Mrs. Shepherd said, her voice trembling with relief.

"I'm sorry," he said, a lazy grin spreading across his face. "I didn't mean to."

"Shh," his mother insisted as she tucked the blankets snugly around his body. "It wasn't your fault. And besides, you're alive and that's all that matters."

"How did I get out?" Derek asked.

"Your friend, Meredith, pulled you out and called the ambulance," Mr. Shepherd answered with a chuckle as he gestured to me sitting on the couch. "You're lucky you have such good friends."

"Come on, sweetie," Mrs. Shepherd coaxed, walking over to the couch to get me to stand next to her and her husband. "You are so lucky she was there to help you out, Derek," she informed her son.

"Yeah," Derek said quietly. "I know."

I blushed bright red, unable to shoulder their gratitude. I didn't want them to thank me; any one of Derek's friends would have done the same thing.

"Mom? Dad? Can I speak to Meredith alone for a little while?" he asked, his sedated blue eyes never leaving my face.

"Of course, son," Mr. Shepherd said as he wrapped his hand around his wife's.

She nodded her agreement. "We'll see you a bit, okay?" Then they turned and walked out of the room, leaving me Derek and me completely alone.

Unable to meet his eyes, I began fussing with his beddings and making sure everything was in his reach. "Do you need anything?" I blurted out. "I could go to the nurse's station and ask—"

"Mer," Derek cut across my voice with his weaker, huskier one. "Shut up and listen."

My mouth snapped shut automatically.

"Thank you," he said, unexpected tears welling in the bottom of his eyelids, causing the tears I had been straining to hold back to cascade down my cheeks. "I was so scared in that ambulance and you…you…"

I walked swiftly to his bedside and wiped his forehead affectionately. "Shh," I soothed. "It's okay now. You're fine. You're going to live."

He reached up to grasp my other hand in his. "Thanks to you," he said in a voice thick and trembling with emotion. "If you weren't there, I wouldn't have…" he couldn't finish the sentence, and my heart swelled with this undefined feeling, overwhelming and threatening to suffocate me. "I don't know how to thank you, how to repay you."

"You don't have to," I whispered, my hands trembling in his cold touch. "I said I'd always be there for you, Derek. We're friends. That's what friends do."

"This is above and beyond the call of duty, Mer," he rasped back.

We were silent for a few more moments, just holding hands and looking into each other's eyes; I saw immense gratitude in his blue depths, and I knew he saw relief in mine. I registered vaguely in my mind that it was harder for me to breathe properly and my heart rate was steadily speeding up. My flush grew darker, but neither of us could look away; we were under some kind of spell, unspoken and silent and unwilling to break it.

A few minutes later, Addison burst into the room. "Oh my God, Derek!" she shouted, effectively breaking the connection. I quickly withdrew my hand and turned around to find Addison in complete disarray; her normally impeccable appearance was disheveled instead. Her red hair was tangled and messy, her eyes were swollen and makeup-less, and her clothes were wrinkled and unkempt. She was a mess.

"Addison?" Derek asked in incredulity as she launched herself at him. I slowly backed out of the room, hoping to give the two of them their privacy. Hopefully they could work out their problems, I thought to myself.

But do you really want that? a colder, more rational voice in my head asked. I shoved it aside, refusing to acknowledge its presence.

"Meredith?" I looked up and found Mark rushing towards me and wrapping me in his arms. His face was completely white and his voice was trembling in anxiety, but his arms were warm and safe. I welcomed the comfort gladly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded into his chest, not allowing myself to open my eyes. All traces of adrenaline in my veins were completely gone and all that was left was an overpowering sense of exhaustion. "I'm so tired," I murmured.

I felt more than heard his chuckle as he lifted me in his arms and carried me down the hall. "Come on. Let me take you home."

I was too tired to argue, so I snuggled into his arms and kept my eyes closed, my cheeks still moist with the tears I had shed.

* * *

Several hours later, I awoke to complete darkness. I sat up and sighed when I realized my beautiful homecoming dress was ruined by dark bloodstains. Not really wanting to throw it away, I took it off and hung it up in the very back of my closet, hoping to escape the horrible images of that night. 

I changed, wiped off all traces of makeup, and pulled the uncomfortable bobby pins from out of my hair. Then, I descended down the stairs into the kitchen in search of something to eat. My mother was already there, sitting at the kitchen table with her usual mug of steaming hot tea.

"Meredith," she said quietly as I entered.

"Mom," I replied. We stared at each other for a little while, neither of us moving. Then I made a move for the refrigerator, hoping to find something to eat. "How's Derek?" I asked, trying and failing to be nonchalant.

"He's doing really well," she replied from behind me.

I nodded and made myself a sandwich to keep my hands occupied. When I was finished, I sat down next to my mother to eat it.

The silence remained unbroken for ten minutes, but unlike past incidents, this silence was contemplative and comfortable. It gave us time to think about what to say, what we were feeling in that moment and how to express it to the other in a language she could understand.

"Was Mark the one that took me home?" I asked finally.

She nodded. "He asked my permission if he could bring you home and put you to bed." I nodded back, steadily eating my sandwich. Then she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for making you stay up like that, but you were really the only one for the responsibility."

I shook my head. "No, that's okay. I understand."

We were silent for a few more moments. Then, she said very quietly, "I'm proud of you, Meredith. You didn't freak out; you stayed completely calm and cool."

I snorted and shook my head again. "I wasn't calm, and I definitely was cool. I was completely freaking out at the crash site."

"But you didn't let that overwhelm you," she pointed out. "Honestly, Meredith, you handled that much better than most medical school students. Heck, I still know several interns that just freeze up at the sight of trauma."

I sighed and looked my mother in the eye. "I guess. But you were really impressive, mom," I said as my throat swelled. "Really, it was amazing. Just the way you knew what to do, when to do it…it was so cool. If anyone was calm and collected, it was you."

She shrugged. "That's my job, Meredith. It's what I do."

"But I didn't know that," I pointed out. Those damned tears returned and threatened to spill over my cheeks. "I've never seen you at work, and it was just amazing...watching the concentration, listening to all that medical jargon…it was so intense. Much better than _ER_."

She chuckled. "Well then maybe you should come and watch me at work a little more often. If you think it's so interesting, then you should consider being a surgeon." She eyed me carefully at this point. "You said you enjoyed dissections, in Biology, right?"

I swallowed hard as I looked my mother in the eye. My throat closed up, and I couldn't say anything so I simply nodded. What she said at that moment meant so much more to me than anything else she could have done for me. It meant more than I could explain.

When neither of us said anything after a while, she asked, "What happened last night, exactly?"

And I gave her the play-by-play, every single detail of the night. She listened with surprising interest and agreed to talk to Mark about being a surgeon. She even considered writing him a recommendation if she liked him.

Then I told her about the crash site and my hands started shaking and trembling as I described it for her. While I gave everyone else the Reader's Digest version, I told my mom every little detail I could remember. By the end of the story, I had dissolved into tears. "I was so scared, Mom," I whimpered. "I was so scared."

She stood from her chair and walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my head and holding her to me like I was a little child all over again. "I know you were, Meredith," she whispered soothingly as she kissed my hair. "I know you were."

**A/N - So...this is the semi-conclusion. I hope you liked the bit of Mer/Der I threw in. I didn't want anything serious to happen, but at the same time I wanted to show you the conflicting emotions the two of them are feeling. Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! (We passed the three hundred mark!) You guys are beyond awesome.**

**I also came out with another Grey's story. It's called This Heart and it's a little more angsty than this one. I would greatly, greatly appreciate it if you read it and reviewed. I promise, you won't be sorry.**

**mcobsessed - Yeah, Mercy West is the Seattle Grace of this story, considering that Meredith and her friends all go to Seattle Grace Prep.**

**CSI3Lyra - OMIGOSH, I'M TOTALLY USING "savingful" THE NEXT TIME I GET THE CHANCE! THAT WAS AMAZING! And thank you for the marshmallows. : )**


	16. The Invalid

**Chapter 16**

The next day I went to the hospital with my mother. She was working her shift, but I wanted to visit Derek before I had to go to school the next day and face six hundred other teenagers desperate for answers and details.

When I got to Derek's room, I saw Mark sitting with him at his bedside. I decided to give the two of them a few moments alone, to bond as men. They needed this time before I interrupted them. As I turned to leave, though, I caught a bit of their conversation.

"You've got yourself a good girlfriend, man." It was Derek's voice.

I heard Mark's chuckle. "Yeah, you don't come across many girls that can lift a guy out of a completely totaled car."

"Seriously, though," Derek said in a dead calm voice that sent shivers up and down my spine. "She's really special."

"I know," I could hear the surprised tone in Mark's voice. "Dude, are you okay? Why are you glaring at me like that?"

Derek sighed. "She's really, really special. And I love you like a brother, but if you hurt her, I swear to God—"

Mark laughed. "Is this what this is about? Look, Derek, I love her. I mean, I _really love_ her. She makes me feel things that I've never felt before, you know? I know it sounds really cheesy and stuff, but I'm serious. She makes me want to be a better person, just to impress her. I really do love her. And I know I don't deserve her, at all, but I promise I'll treat her like the treasure she is."

I wanted so badly to turn around and see Derek's face. Instead, I forced my legs to move forward and find the cafeteria before I was caught eavesdropping. As I walked, I asked myself, why was he so concerned? Why did it matter to him if Mark broke my heart? Granted, I didn't want Mark to break my heart and I was grateful that Derek was so worried, but honestly: why did he care?

I grabbed a bowl of Jell-o from the hospital cafeteria and forced it down as I waited for Mark and Derek to finish their "guy time". When I was certain that they must have been finished, I made my way back to Derek's room. Instead of Mark sitting at his bedside, this time, it was his parents. I turned on my heel and walked away as fast as I could. I wanted to avoid the parents at all costs.

My mother spotted me in the waiting room, wringing my hands nervously a half hour later. "Meredith?" my mother asked incredulously. "What are you doing in the waiting room? I thought you wanted to visit Derek."

"His parents are in there," I told her quietly. She understood what I meant.

After all, I certainly didn't get my intimacy issues from my nonexistent father.

An hour later, I saw Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd walk down the hall and into the elevators. I was about to run into his room before anyone else could, just so I could have some alone time with him, but after careful thought, I decided I should wait. I didn't want to overwhelm him.

I waited a half hour more, then stood up to walk to his room. I bit back a scream of frustration when I saw Addison sitting there, holding his hand and whispering comforting words to him. But before I could turn away and run, she had already spotted me.

"Meredith!" she cried. Jumping out of her seat, she ran to me and wrapped me in a fierce hug that knocked the breath out of my lungs. "Thank you so much," she whispered in my ear. I felt something wet run down my neck; she was crying. "Thank you so much for saving him."

I reluctantly reciprocated the hug, rubbing her back in comforting circles. "It's okay, Addison. He's alive, you shouldn't cry."

"I know," she replied tremblingly. "I just can't help it…I could never forgive myself if…if…" she couldn't finish. After giving me one more squeeze, pulled away and rested her hands on my shoulders, her eyes red and puffy and her smile weak and wavering. "Anyways, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you saved him and now we have a second chance. I never would have had this second chance if it weren't for you."

I was completely speechless, so I opted for a little smile instead and nodded. There wasn't anything I could say to that. Words were completely useless.

"You know what? I'm going to leave you two alone," she said as she headed out the door of his room. "I need to go find some food and I'm sure you'll want to thank her, Derek, so I'll go now." She smiled at the two of us, then exited the room, striding down the hall.

When she was gone, I turned to Derek and found the strangest expression on his face…almost like a grimace.

"Sorry you had to go through that," he said apologetically. "I know how hard she can hug."

I chuckled in spite of myself. "No, don't worry about it. Your parents hug pretty hard too."

I took the seat at his bedside and glanced down at his arm. There was an IV needle in the crook of his elbow, along with several other wires attached to various monitors meant to keep track of his vital signs. "How are you feeling?" I asked as I brought my eyes back to his. They seemed a little less clouded than they had the last time I looked into them, which concerned me. Was he in a lot of pain?

He shrugged. "As good as you can expect," he replied. "I can feel the pain a little bit, but my mind's a lot clearer than it was the other day."

Unconsciously, my hand found its way inside his. I squeezed his hand tightly and he squeezed back. That feeling of rightness returned.

You can't do this, Meredith, a little voice in my head screamed. He's got a girlfriend! Think of Addison!

"So did you and Addison fix your issues?" I asked in what I hoped was an optimistic voice. I didn't want to let the disappointment bleed through.

He sighed. "She seems to think so…" he trailed off. "And I guess if we're both willing to flesh it out, then we can make it through. As long as we're willing to talk to each other."

"That's good," I said with forced cheerfulness. "Addison loves you. No matter how angry she gets with you, she'll still love you."

"Thanks," he said, that same strange look passing over his eyes. Then, he changed the subject. "Mark was here a while ago."

"I know. I saw you two talking earlier, and I didn't want to interrupt."

"Really?" he asked in surprise. "You were here this morning? How come I didn't see you until now?"

I shrugged. "I came in here again after I was sure Mark left, but your parents were here and I didn't want to interrupt them either. Then after your parents left, Addison came, and now…yeah."

He smiled. "And now we're alone."

My breath hitched in my throat and I felt that familiar tinge of pink spread over my cheeks. He was looking at me with those blue eyes and his smile was the same as it was the first day of school.

I can't do this, I thought. I've got a boyfriend, a wonderful boyfriend who loves me. And Derek's got a girlfriend who loves him. But none of that seemed to matter when he was looking at me like that.

The moment was broken when my Mom walked into the room. I gently pulled my hand out of his and faced her.

"Hello, Derek," she said pleasantly as she checked his IV drip and vitals. She took note of them in the chart in her hands. "How are you feeling today?"

"A lot more coherent," he replied.

My mother chuckled. "That's good. Well the good news, as you already know, is that we expect you to make a full recovery. Unfortunately, we'll have to hold you here in the hospital a little while longer until we know for sure that there won't be any further complications. I've already talked to your parents, and they know that you'll probably be staying her for a maximum of two weeks."

Derek's face fell, and I squeezed his hand again. "Two weeks?" he asked sadly.

"We'll try and make the stay here as comfortable as possible. And, considering the amount of people in the waiting room yesterday morning, you'll never be without a steady flow of visitors, I'm sure."

He sighed and shrugged. "I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?"

My mother smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm afraid you don't." Then she turned to me and said, "Meredith, if his IV bag starts to run out, just call one of the nurses and they'll replace it, okay?" I nodded and she closed her chart. "Okay then. If you need anything else, be sure to ring for one of the nurses, or I'm sure Meredith will help."

When she left, I caught Derek looking at me strangely. "You know the doctor?"

I gave him a bewildered look. "Yeah, that's Dr. Grey. She's my mother."

He groaned. "I should have realized that."

I chuckled and smoothed the hair out of his face. "You have an excuse. They've put you on pretty heavy levels of morphine."

His eyes turned serious as he turned his gaze back to my face. "You called your mother to help, didn't you?"

I nodded. "I didn't want you to die, Derek," I whispered softly. "My mom's the chief resident in this hospital, and I knew she would take care of you."

It looked like he was unable to speak for several moments. "Thank you," he said thickly. "Thank you so much."

I grimaced at him. "If you say thank you one more time, you'll have to stay in this hospital a lot longer than two more weeks."

He smiled apologetically. "Okay then."

So instead of talking about his near death experience, I told him how badly I didn't want to go to school the next day and he told me how badly he wanted to go with me.

After a half hour, I checked his IV bag and called the nurse when it was running low. "I should probably go," I told him after the nurse replaced it.

The pleading look in his eyes tugged at my heart. "No, please. Stay with me."

I wanted to, but I knew in my mind that Addison would come back, and I needed to get away before she got there. I shook my head and squeezed his hand one last time. "I really have to go. I'll visit you later, okay?"

He nodded sadly. "Bye."

I waved goodbye to him and rushed out of that confining hospital room before I could turn back around and stay by his side.

I went to the nurse's station and told them if my mother started looking for me to tell her that I took the bus home. They gave me their reassurances that they would tell her and with that, I eagerly and reluctantly left the hospital, confused as hell the whole ride home.

When I got home, I called Cristina. I needed to talk to someone who wouldn't "ohmigosh" and "seriously" me after every word and would actually listen and reciprocate her thoughts candidly.

"Meredith?" she asked after the first ring. "Finally, I've been waiting for you to call forever. What's up?"

"I just came back from the hospital."

"Visiting Derek?"

"Yeah."

"How is he?"

"He's doing fine," I replied. "They have to keep him in the hospital a little while longer to make sure that there aren't any complications or anything, but other than that, he'll be okay."

"That's good." She paused a little bit, then continued. "What about you? How are you?"

It was a billion times worse when Cristina asked that question. With everyone else, I could shrug it off and pretend like Derek's almost death didn't really affect me. I could just say that I was fine and that nothing was wrong and I wasn't tearing myself up on the inside and that I wasn't shaken from seeing all that blood and watching and listening him writhe and moan in pain. I could pretend that I was totally fine with watching my mother poke around in his stomach and Dr. Hamilton drill holes into his skull. But with Cristina, I couldn't.

"I don't know how I am," I admitted, my voice wavering in emotion. "I was so scared, Cristina. I was so damn scared."

Cristina didn't say anything for a little while, then she said really quietly, "Meredith, you did something that not many of us could ever pull off. I know you were scared and I know you were freaking out. But he _survived_. Because of you. You shouldn't be so damn scared. You should be damn proud."

Hearing Cristina, Queen of Dark and Twisty, say that helped the flashing, horrifying images slowly dim away. "Thanks," I whispered.

"We were so scared when you didn't come back," she went on. "At the dance, when you and Derek didn't come back, we were so scared. Mark came back almost an hour later completely freaking out because he saw the crash and the tow trucks and he recognized Derek's car and you weren't there and we told him what happened—and—and—" she was starting to get a little hysterical. She stopped talking abruptly, swallowed, and said, "If you ever disappear on me like that again, Mer, I swear I will kill you."

"Sorry," I said sarcastically. "I'll keep that in mind the next time one of you almost dies."

We remained quiet a little while longer, letting the silence say the words that we could never bring ourselves to speak.

"I wonder what's going to happen on Monday when we get back," I said, finally dispelling the silence.

"Probably a billion kids are going to go up to you and ask you what happened this weekend," Cristina said. I could hear the smile bleeding through her voice. "You know…the usual."

I laughed.

"So, guess what Burke asked me during the dance?" she asked excitedly. I suddenly had the feeling that she had been waiting impatiently all weekend to tell me.

"What?"

Deep breath. "He asked me to be his girlfriend."

My jaw dropped. "Oh my God! What did you say?"

"I told him if he attempted to feel me up, I would shove something very long and painful up his ass," she replied primly. "Then we did that weird thing where he smiled then I smiled and then we went back to dancing."

I grinned widely. It was good to know that life would go on.

**A/N - So for those of you who were confused, I'm not finished updating this story yet. Meredith and Derek still have a few more chances to be completely stupid and push away from each other. I'm so far beyond done, so just wait okay? And for those of you looking forward to a happy MerDer ending, you'll get one. Eventually.**

**Also of further note, I have a blog, that's listed as my homepage on my personal bio. I usually post reflections on my chapters and the updating schedules, how my WiP stories are coming along, etc. I've also decided to move all answers to questions on my blog, so please check it out!**


	17. Startling Realizations

**Chapter 17**

I absolutely dreaded going to school the next day. I didn't want to face all the looks, all the questions, all the praises…but most especially, I didn't want to face Addison's gratitude.

"Hey, my little heroine," Mark said with a smile when I opened the front door that morning.

I grimaced at him. "I hope you're in reference to the drug and not my little adventure at homecoming."

He chuckled and bent forward to kiss me on the lips. "I suppose you could take it either way." But he understood that I did _not_ want to talk about homecoming, so he didn't say anything about it and we instead discussed the weird relationship between Burke and Cristina.

"I give them three months," Mark declared. "At most."

I rolled my eyes. "You know, he's your friend. You should be happy that he found someone he likes. You were the one that convinced him to take her to homecoming, remember?"

He sighed. "I was just making a joke, Grey. Sheesh, lighten up."

Getting annoyed with Mark was not a good start to my day, so I was already in a foul mood by the time I reached school. It didn't get any better when Izzie wouldn't stop asking me questions about what happened and what it was like to ride the ambulance and what Derek said and what the surgery was like and what watching the crash happen was like. Cristina realized I was about to snap and quickly told her to shut up because Izzie was annoying her. I shot her a grateful look and she nodded in response.

Of course, Mark and Izzie was just the _beginning_ of the crap that I had to go through. The ambulances had to tell the administration that they were on the school property because of legal reasons, so all of my teachers knew. They were congratulating me, admiring me, forcing me to stand up in the middle of class to the appreciative and awed applause of my peers. Dr. Bailey was the only one who didn't do that. Instead, she caught me after class and said, "So I heard you got to watch the surgery from the gallery."

I nodded, shocked. How did she know?

As if she read my mind, she replied with a very, very rare smile, "Several of my colleagues are surgeons at Mercy West, and they also happened to be in the gallery with you. They were surprised by how calmly you watched. You didn't freak out or anything. Have you considered being a surgeon, Grey? The hospitals could use a capable, level-headed person like you. You'd be a brilliant one, if you're anything like your mother. Think about it."

Needless to say, I had a newfound respect for Dr. Bailey.

But it still didn't put me in a good enough mood to handle the annoying questions and rumors, and the rumors were absolutely ridiculous, all of them placing me on a pedestal and blaming Addison for Derek's tragedy. The most popular ones included me lifting the truck off Derek's car and carrying him to the hospital myself and Addison driving the truck and crashing into him on purpose.

I was surprised to see Addison handling it so well, considering she seemed to be everyone's favorite villain. Several students went up to us in the middle of lunch to declare their admiration for me and my amazing deeds, blatantly ignoring Addison and sometimes "accidentally" managing to kick her. One of them had the audacity to spill milk all over her, under the pretense of letting the carton "slip" from her hands.

"Look," I told the freshman girl angrily. "Thank you for telling me that I was a hero and all, but I'm not. And I would appreciate it if you didn't spill milk all over my friends." Then without another backward glance, I helped Addison to her feet and accompanied her to the bathroom.

"You don't have to stick up for me, Mer," Addison said quietly as I ripped out a handful of paper towels from the dispenser. "I deserve it."

"No, you do not," I said fiercely. "No one deserves to have milk poured all over her." I helped her dry her clothes, hoping to get the milk out before her plaid skirt was saturated with it. "Why on earth do you think you deserve it?"

She sighed. "Because, I yelled at him before…before…"

I brought my angry eyes up to look into hers. "Addison, no. You told him how you felt, and that is something neither of you have done in a long time."

Her hand froze. "How did you know?"

I rolled my eyes impatiently. Why did everyone have pick today to be a complete idiot? "Because Derek told me."

"He told you about our relationship issues?" she said, her face turning uncharacteristically red.

"It doesn't matter now," I said as I threw the used paper towels away. "Everyone knows about your relationship issues after you stormed out during your dance at homecoming."

"I just can't believe he told you instead of trying to work it out with me," she mumbled. "What did he tell you?"

I sighed. "I am not going to be your mediator. If you want to find out, ask him."

I was about to walk out of the bathroom and leave Addison to groom herself, but she grabbed me by the arm. "What's going on between you and Derek?" she demanded.

My heart pounded in my chest at her words and I struggled to keep the quaver out of my voice. "Nothing, Addison," I told her. "We're just friends."

She scanned my face for anything that gave me away, but I stared bravely back, challenging her. Besides, I wasn't lying; there was nothing going on between us.

Absolutely nothing.

Whatever she was looking for in my eyes, she seemed to find it because she didn't question me again. So I left the bathroom with a flushed face and a pounding heart. And it was then that I realized it: I wasn't in love with Mark.

I was in love with Derek.

* * *

"Cristina, what I am about to tell you can_not_ leave this conversation, do you understand?" I said over the phone later that night. "You cannot tell _anyone_: not Izzie, not George, not Burke, _no one_."

"I'm getting the strangest sense of déjà vu," she said in typical Cristina bored-ness. "Okay, I won't tell anyone. What is it?"

I took in a deep breath. "Okay. I think I am in love with McDreamy."

"Is that all?" Cristina scoffed. "Geez, I already knew that. I thought you were going to tell me that Mark was secretly gay or something."

My jaw dropped. "What? What do you mean you already knew that?"

"Um, okay, I'll say it again: I already knew that you were in love with him. It was kind of obvious, whenever you and Derek got into that fight and you couldn't tell McSteamy that you loved him back. It's 'cause you loved McDreamy."

"Okay, this is the part when you say, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, I feel for your pain, and that really sucks'," I informed her dryly. "What kind of friend are you?"

"Oh, sorry," she amended. "Let me try again." I heard her clear her throat. "Oh my gosh, but you're going out with Mark! What are you going to do?"

"I don't know!" I wailed in despair. "I don't know what I'm going to freaking do!"

"Well, let's think this through logically," Cristina reasoned. "Why exactly do you love Derek?"

"Because…" I said fruitlessly. "Because his eyes are so blue."

"'Because his eyes are so blue'?" Cristina quoted back slowly. Incredulity was dripping from her voice. "Seriously?"

"They just—it's like…he can see right through me," I explained helplessly. "Every time he looks at me with those eyes, I just feels like he knows exactly what I'm thinking, exactly what I'm feeling."

"And that makes you love him?" she asked. "That doesn't creep you out the slightest bit?"

"It's more than that," I explained. "I love him because he's beautiful and perfect and whenever he smiles at me, my heart starts pounding and my knees start trembling. And he's concerned for me. And he confides in me. And every time I see him, I get this funny feeling in my stomach."

"Indigestion?" she suggested.

"Cristina!"

"Okay, okay," she conceded grudgingly. "Alright, so those are all the reasons you love Derek. How come you don't love Mark?"

"Because…" I tried in frustration.

"Okay, I'm not sure if I can do this whole friend thing if you're going to do that every time I ask you a question," she said irritably. "Seriously, the guy does everything for you and you don't love him. What the hell is up with that?"

"Sorry. I don't love him because I love Derek," I finished lamely. "I guess…I guess maybe if I hadn't met Derek first, then maybe it would have been different or something. Maybe it would have been the other way around…" I trailed off doubtfully.

"That is absolutely pathetic."

"I get that!" I cried. "You're not making this any easier, you know!"

"Oh, okay, um…so what are you going to do?"

I sighed. "What is there to do? I'm going to stay with Mark and hope that I fall in love with him and get over Derek."

"Um, here's a thought: why don't you break up with McSteamy and go out with McDreamy instead? Aren't Addison and Derek going through relationship issues anyways?"

"Yeah, but Addison wants to work it out," I answered dejectedly. "Not to mention, Derek doesn't like me that way."

"Ookaay…so you're going to try and _force_ yourself to love Mark back, correct?"

"Correct."

"And you'll do this how…?"

I shrugged, but she couldn't see me over the phone. "I don't know…stop thinking about Derek and focus on Mark?"

"But you love Derek."

"I know."

"I know you know."

"I know you know I know. You said that you already knew."

"Okay, why are we going in circles about this? There is clearly only one solution to your problem."

"And that would be…?"

"You have to break up with Mark and get Derek to fall in love with you."

"No, I don't want to do that."

"And why not?"

"I don't want to be the dirty mistress. I don't want to be the home wrecker."

"Meredith, there was never a home to begin with. And you'd only be considered a dirty mistress if you slept with him. Unless you're planning…?"

"No!" I all but shouted. "God, no! I-I couldn't! Not when I'm still going out with Mark and he's still going out with Addison."

"Oh ho, but if you _weren't_ going out with Mark and he _wasn't_ going out with Addison? Would you do it then?"

I was turning extremely red at this point. "I don't know," I snapped defensively. "I've never really given it much thought."

"Did you ever think about sleeping with Mark?"

"No," I replied. Sex wasn't ever really on my mind.

"God, Mer, you are _such_ a goody-two-shoes."

"What about you?" I shot back. "Would you sleep with Burke?"

I could almost hear the blood rush to her face. "Maybe," she side-stepped the question. "It would depend if our relationship was ready for that step. And I really don't appreciate you prying into my personal business with Burke like that."

"Fine," I sniffed. "I won't talk about you and Burke doing it if you don't talk about Mark and me doing it."

"Fine."

"Fine."

We were silent for a little while longer. "But seriously, Mer, what are you going to do about this? You're not in love with the guy you're dating. You're in love with someone else who's dating your friend."

"I know," I said miserably. "The only solution I can think of is to stay with Mark and hope things work out with him."

"That's ridiculous," she cried in exasperation. "If he's not making you happy, then you should leave him! You can't force something that was never there."

"You never know," I said defensively. "Something could happen."

"Yeah, something _will_ happen. You'll make yourself completely miserable. Not like you aren't already, but whatever."

"Cristina, I know you don't like this decision, but it's all I've got. It's the only choice that doesn't hurt everyone."

"Yeah. Just you, right?"

"Right."

"You're a sick masochist, you know that?"

"I figured."

We didn't say anything for a little while. Then, she asked, "What if he loved you back?"

I snorted. "Yeah, right. Like that could ever happen."

**A/N - Uh-oh. So she's finally acknowledged it. What's going to happen? Review and you might find out. :-P**


	18. Making it Worse

**Chapter 18**

The next day after school, Mark drove me to the hospital to visit him. When we walked into the room, Derek's face immediately brightened. "Mark! Meredith! Thank God!"

Mark chuckled. "Wanted to see us that badly, huh?"

He nodded. "I'm bored out of my _mind_. There's nothing good on television and the food here is horrible."

"You don't really need the food, you know," I said as I checked his IV bag.

Derek grimaced at me. "Aren't you a know-it-all."

I grinned sweetly back at him. "Why, yes. I am."

Mark pulled the backpack off of his shoulders, unzipped it, and dumped its contents on the foot of Derek's bed. "Well, this should keep you interested of a while. I brought you all your homework 'cause I know how freaked out you get when you miss school."

"Thanks," Derek said as he rummaged through the books. He stopped when he spotted something in the scattered pile. "Wait a—what is this?" he asked as he unearthed a copy of Playboy.

I turned bright red as I looked away. Mark simply grinned. "I heard porn releases endorphins in the brain that help you deal with the pain."

"Thanks," he said enthusiastically. I heard him flipping through the pages. "Holy—"

"That is enough," I said firmly as I grabbed the thing from his hands and threw it away in the trash.

"Hey!" the both of them cried in indignation.

"You are on enough morphine to help you deal with the pain," I glared at him and he cowered further into the bed. "You don't need the porn. And you," I turned on Mark and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "You shouldn't be encouraging him."

Mark flashed me that innocent smile. "I couldn't help it."

"God, seriously! The two of you!" I cried in frustration. I glared at Mark and he grinned helplessly. "Why do I put up with you?"

"Because you love me," he said cavalierly as he leaned down to plant a kiss on my lips.

My heart stopped as he did so. I felt like such a hypocrite, standing there, kissing him in front of Derek.

It felt wrong.

"That's gross!" Derek shouted. He threw a cup at us and it hit Mark on the head.

Mark pulled away and glared at his friend. "Hey, that was uncalled for."

"Yeah, so was kissing right in front of me," he shot back petulantly, but there was something more behind those blue eyes. A mix of anger and despair. "Save the PDA for the bedroom."

Mark smirked. "Why? Are you jealous?"

It was as if someone had lit my face on fire and took a hammer to my heart. He and I exchanged glances, and the both of us knew that it wasn't just a simple, innocent question. "Yes," he replied, his eyes never leaving my face.

Mark, completely oblivious the sudden tension in the air, walked to his friend's side and slapped him roughly on the back. "Don't worry, dude. Addison will be here soon."

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there. "Um, I need to go to the little ladies room," I declared, purposely avoiding Derek's eyes.

Mark nodded and I turned on my heel and ran down the hallway to find the bathroom. This is ridiculous, I thought to myself. I had a boyfriend. Even if I did love Derek, it didn't change the fact that Mark loved me. And I couldn't leave him; he changed his playboy habits for me. He's been so selfless and so considerate for me. The least I could do is return the favor.

When I came back from the bathroom, I was no longer scared and ashamed. I was angry at Derek. He had no right to be looking at me like that. I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend, and they loved us. They loved us more than they probably should.

I walked into Derek's room to find him alone. "Where's Mark?" I asked.

"He went to get me some actual food," he replied. "He asked me to tell you that he'd be back in a few."

I nodded and took a seat on the couch, carefully keeping my distance. Derek noticed, but didn't say anything about it.

"So what's been going on at school?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nonstop rumors. It's absolutely ridiculous."

"Really?" he asked, his eyes flashing I interest. "What kind of rumors?"

"Well for one, everyone seems to think I saved your life."

"Because you did."

"And no one will shut up about it."

"Unsurprisingly."

"Not to mention, everyone thinks Addison was the one that ran you over."

He winced at that one. "I should have known," he sighed.

"So now everyone hates Addison," I said sadly as I remembered that stupid little freshman girl that had spilled milk all over her. "And she's just taking it like she deserves it or something."

I saw the pain flash in his eyes. "She doesn't."

"I know."

We were silent for a little while.

"So, did you guys flesh out all your relationship issues?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant about it. Like I didn't care.

He didn't answer for a while. When I thought he hadn't heard the question, he replied very quietly, "She thinks we have."

"What does that mean?" I asked curiously.

He was starting to get annoyed. "Why do you care so much, Meredith? What does it matter to you?"

I was shocked by his abrupt change in mood. "I just—I just thought that you might want to talk about it or something."

"Yeah, well I don't," he said angrily. "Why don't you mind your own business for once, Meredith? Just butt out."

I felt something well up in my chest. "Fine, Derek." To my absolute horror, tears gathered in the bottoms of my eyes and spilled over before I could stop them. "I guess I'll just butt out then. But don't you dare come back to me, complaining about how she doesn't listen to what you say."

"Shut up," he growled. "Shut up about the shit you don't understand. Go back to your perfect boyfriend and your perfect life."

"Fine!" I shouted. I turned around and was about to leave the room when I ran into Mark's very solid chest.

"Whoa," he said in bewilderment as he stared down into my tear-stained face. "What's wrong?" he asked gently.

I shook my head emphatically. "Nothing."

"Nothing? Meredith, why are you crying?"

The tears streamed down faster. "Nothing, Mark. Take me home. Please."

"God, how pathetic," Derek murmured from behind me.

Mark looked up at him, his dark eyes smoldering dangerously. "What was that?"

"It's pathetic. You say that she loves you and she won't even tell you why she's crying. You two are a complete joke."

"Shut up, dude," Mark said in a quiet, foreboding voice. I held my breath, waiting for one of them to speak.

"I'm just saying, she doesn't even trust you enough to tell you what's going on." He smirked. "Aren't you two supposed to be in a trusting relationship or something?"

"Hey, at least we didn't make a huge scene right in the middle of the dance floor at homecoming," he growled. "You just love making girls cry, don't you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Mark let go of me and walked towards Derek's bed. "Addison couldn't stop crying the entire time I drove her home. The entire world doesn't revolve around you, Derek. There are other people out there who matter too."

"Shut up," Derek growled.

"Man, if you weren't in a hospital bed, I'd totally kick your ass," Mark said very calmly, considering what was happening. "If you _ever_ make Meredith cry again, I will make you regret it for the rest of your life. Do you understand?" Then, without another word, he turned around, placed a hand gently, but firmly in the small of my back and walked out of the hospital room to take me home.

* * *

I told Cristina about the fight later that night. She was sufficiently shocked and called him "McBastard" several times through the conversation. I know she said it to make me feel better, but it didn't. I still loved him, and it pained me to hear someone call him names. 

I didn't visit him again after the incident in the hospital. Addison was vaguely aware that the two of us weren't on speaking terms, but she wasn't sure why. Mark acted like it never happened, but held my hand protectively whenever his name was brought up in conversation.

The next few weeks were miserable for me. The kids at school continued to put me up on a pedestal and worship me. I was more popular than ever and it was driving me insane. Mark knew enough about me to know that I hated the attention and would try to take the most private routes to my classes with me and shield me from the masses whenever we had to cut through the crowds. I was eternally grateful to him for it. But the thing that made life absolutely wretched was the fact that I still loved Derek.

If anything, that fight should have made me love him less and hate him a lot more, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Something deep down told me that that wasn't Derek. Derek would never yell at me for being concerned; something else was going on, but he wouldn't tell me. Nevertheless, I was miserable because Mark loved me, I loved him, and Addison did too.

Since when did my life get to be so convoluted?

Two weeks later, the entire school was buzzing about Derek's return. He was supposed to come back the next day and everyone was more than a little excited. Addison was slowly becoming the bubbly, energetic girl she was before homecoming and for that I was glad. 

"I'm so excited!" Addison exclaimed for the millionth time that lunch period.

Burke grinned. "We know, Addison."

Mark's anger had slowly faded away over the next few weeks. He was still vaguely cool whenever Derek's name was brought up, but he was happy that his friend was well enough to return to school. "Let's throw him a party," he said as he squeezed my hand gently underneath the table.

"Yes!" Addison shouted excitedly. She immediately pulled a notebook out of her backpack and started planning.

Cristina glanced at me. She was the only one who truly knew how I was feeling. I shook my head imperceptibly, telling her that I was okay. I could get through this. She didn't look completely convinced, but then again, I wasn't either.

The next day found me in the memorial garden, quietly trimming the hedges with Joe. After a half hour of complete silence, he lets out an exasperated sigh. "Okay, something's wrong. You're never this quiet around me, ever. What happened? Did something happen between you and Mark?"

I hesitated. "No," I said slowly.

"Then what? What happened?"

I decided to tell him. Not about me falling in love with Derek, that was just too much information, but I could tell him how he treated me like crap after I saved his life. That was fine.

"Derek and I got in a fight."

"Oh," Joe nodded understandingly. "When?"

"Two weeks ago," I said quietly.

"Right after you saved his life?"

"Yeah."

"What did you fight about?"

I sighed. "It's stupid, really. I asked him if everything going on between him and Addison was okay, and then he completely flips out on me. Then it sort of escalated from there and…yeah."

"Whoa," Joe whistled. "Sounds pretty intense."

"It was," I admitted, clipping the branches a little harder than was necessary. "It ended with me crying and Mark threatening to kick his ass if he ever did that again."

We continued to clip in silence. Then he said, "You know, I'm just a spectator in this whole thing, but it doesn't seem to me that you really love Mark as much as he loves you."

I sighed. "I don't."

"Then why go out with him?"

"Because he loves me," I replied dejectedly. "I couldn't break his heart like that."

"But you seem like you're in a lot of pain," he observed. "I think it's really nice that you don't want to break his heart or anything, but you're not happy. If you keep going on like this, you'll end up hating each other."

"Or, I could fall in love with him."

"Unlikely."

I shrugged. "Well that's all I've got."

**A/N - So I'm typing this right in the middle of Visual Basic class...because my band director is subbing and he doesn't give a crap. What did you guys think about this chapter? I was going through this phase when I was kindasorta angry with Derek, so I made him and Meredith get into this huge fight. Remember: drama. This story is supposed to be ridiculously dramatic.**

**Only three more chapters to go! Be sure to check my blog for the schedule. And maybe, (MAYBE) previews for next chapter...? (Because honestly...next chapter is pretty amazing. By my standards.) And leave comments! I like comments.**

**merbelle007 - Haha, so which one is more frustrating? This chapter or last chapter?**

**CSI3Lyra - I love writing the Cristina/Meredith telephone moments. I think that's the best part.**

**The Funny Freak - Well, you have to give Meredith some credit. She's just a freshman after all and she's friends with a bunch of the most popular seniors in school, but she's still unsure of herself. She doesn't want to make everyone upset. And thank you so much for the ice cream! I definitely didn't need it...but then again, I did. :)**


	19. Confusion

**Chapter 19**

The next day, Mark came to pick me up as usual. He noticed the grimace on my face and asked concernedly, "Are you ready?"

I sighed and nodded. There wasn't much I could say or do at this point, except to just do it. As much as I didn't want to, I had to. I was going to have to face him sooner or later.

The day went on better than I had expected. Instead of people focusing their attention on me, everyone was excited to talk to Derek. They all wanted to know what it was like, what he had to go through, if he had any scars that he wanted to show us. He was hobbling around on a pair of crutches and was always accompanied by Addison carrying his books for him. It seemed that hostile attitudes toward her had started to simmer down to nothing but cool indifference. Heck, that was a lot better than people spilling milk all over her.

Lunch was less awkward than I expected, but only because I didn't glance his way once the entire time. I instead kept my focus on my food and on Mark. I knew he was looking at me, trying to get my attention, but I didn't look back.

The rest of the week passed by in much the same fashion. I completely ignored Derek and focused most of my attention on Mark, desperately hoping that I could fall in love with him. Before any of this got worse. Addison was blissfully oblivious to all of this and utilized her impressive organizational skills to plan Derek's Welcome Back Party in one week. Since Mark was his best friend and I was Mark's girlfriend, I was expected to make an appearance. That, coupled with the fact that I saved his life and everything meant that I had to go, whether I wanted to or not.

This time Cristina was over at my house as we helped each other get ready for the party. Izzie was with George because he was totally helpless when it came to this kind of thing and Addison was at her house, making sure everything for the party was there. We were actually kind of lucky that she wasn't there; she had been on a crabby rampage for the past few days.

"What did she say the dress code was?" Cristina asked as she tore my closet apart, looking for something for me to wear.

"Dressy casual, I think," I replied as I helped her. I was a lot less enthusiastic but just as nervous about this party than I was with the party thrown in Burke's honor. Cristina was the only one who truly knew how horrifying this was going to be for me, and was therefore the one that was helping me with this.

"Okay, do you want to look plain, or do you want to look nice, or do you want to look stunning?" she asked as she pulled three separate outfits from my closet.

I would have settled for plain if I knew Addison and Izzie would have let me get away with it. Unfortunately, being them, that wasn't allowed, so I sighed and replied, "Nice."

Cristina nodded, picked out my clothes. She chose a black skirt that stopped mid-calf and a light blue silk camisole with lace on the neckline and edging the bottom. The last touches were a dark blue bolero jacket and black wedges with a rose on the toe. I did my makeup as she pinned my hair up in the way only Cristina Yang could do. She was pretty amazing with hair.

She decided to wear gray dress slacks with a simple, white wrap-around top and four inch black stilettos. I did her makeup and she hated putting her hair up, so she let her curly midnight locks down, framing her face.

The moment we gathered our things, the doorbell rang. My mother, who knew about the party, answered the door and greeted our boys very politely. After making sure we had everything we needed, we left my room and descended the stairs.

Cristina immediately attracted Burke's attention while Mark looked up and smiled at me. "God, you just keep looking prettier and prettier."

I smiled shyly at him. Then I turned to my mother and hugged her. "We're leaving. I promise I'll be home by twelve."

She nodded and hugged back. "Okay. Call me if you need anything, alright?" I nodded and she waved as the four of us walked out the door.

Like homecoming, Burke and Mark had taken different cars, which suited me just fine. I didn't want to be witness to Burke and Cristina mushiness, because they had been known to do it, even though it was _very_ rare. When I got to his car, Mark opened my door for me and I climbed in as gracefully as I could.

"So," Mark began as he turned the ignition. "I can tell from the look on your face that you're not really looking forward to this."

I sighed. "Yeah, well…you were there that day."

"You're still not talking?"

I shook my head. He leaned over to my side and kissed me on the temple. "I know that you want to avoid him right now, but he's my best friend. Do it for me?"

I sighed again and nodded. "Okay."

The rest of the ride, he steered away from all topics concerning Derek, and I gratefully followed his lead. Instead we laughed about Addison's continuing irritability and Burke's and Cristina's growing mushiness which was disturbing on so many levels. "You know, Burke actually wanted to tell me about how well Cristina _kisses_," Mark shivered.

"Eww…" I whined. "That's gross, Mark."

"You weren't the one he described it to," he complained. "I had to sit there and listen to him and the whole time, I'm thinking _I don't want to hear this, I don't want to hear this_ over and over again in my head."

I was less anxious when I got to Addison's house. He helped me out of the car and squeezed my hand reassuringly as we made our way to the front door. Burke and Cristina followed closely behind us, their hands loosely intertwined.

We didn't even ring the doorbell before Addison ripped open the front door and attacked us. "Meredith! Mark! Cristina! Burke! You made it!"

"Like we had a choice," Mark whispered out of the corner of his mouth. I suppressed a giggle.

The moment we stepped into the house, we were assaulted by the sight of Addison's foyer completely decked out in balloons, confetti, and bright, festive streamers. It looked more like a child's birthday party than a teenager's thank-God-you're-still-alive party. But I guess it was better than everything being black.

The party was actually pleasant in the beginning. It mostly consisted of Mark and me dancing very slowly in the ballroom to the band on the stage, while he whispered soothing words in my ear. It was peaceful, and at times funny, whenever he made a remark and I would laugh.

Then halfway through the night I had to go to the bathroom. So I kissed Mark on the cheek, told him I'd be back soon, and ran off to find it. As I turned a corner, I felt a strong hand grasp my arm and pull me into an empty office. I turned in shock and saw Derek glaring at me with a force that might have killed a lesser woman.

"You've been ignoring me," he said as he closed the door behind me. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" I asked in a voice as cold as I could make it. It was difficult to even get the words out, considering my heart was beating at a million miles a minute.

"That's not an excuse," he argued. "I've been trying to get you to talk to me all week and I have to drag you in here to get you to even look me in the eye. We sit at the same table everyday at lunch and we haven't said a word to each other in three weeks."

I was angry now. "What do you want, Derek?" I demanded. "First you're yelling at me for _caring_ about you and Addison and now you're yelling at me for not talking to you. Make up your mind."

"I've already made it," he said and with an agility that no man on crutches should possess, he closed the vast distance between the two of us and captured my lips with his.

And all of a sudden, it didn't matter that we weren't supposed to be talking.

It didn't matter that I didn't love my boyfriend.

It didn't matter that he had a girlfriend that still loved him.

All that mattered was making sure his lips never parted from mine.

This kiss was so much more than I had ever dreamed. As his soft lips moved over mine, he brought his solid arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him, and I brought my hands around his neck, twirling my fingers in his curly, dark hair, savoring the feel of his body pressed against mine, the warmth his fingers trailed as he held the small of my back, the way our lips melded together. "Meredith," he whispered against my lips and a shiver trailed its way down my spine.

Mark never kissed me like that.

Oh my God…

"Mark," I gasped as I abruptly pulled away from Derek, leaving several feet of space between the two of us.

"What?" he asked confusedly. The door to the office was still closed, and there were no windows through which people could peek through. "Meredith, what's wrong?"

"Everything," I said, as I realized in horror what I had just done. "I can't do this with you, Derek. It's wrong, it's absolutely wrong."

He crossed the gap and wrapped me in his arms again. A haze of warmth spread through my limbs and I struggled to regain control of my thoughts. "Then why does it feel so right?" he whispered softly in my ear.

As much as it killed me to do it, I pushed away gently. "Derek, you have a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend. We can't do this." I made a move for the door, but he slammed his palm to keep it closed before I could even open it.

"Meredith, you don't love him," he declared. "You don't love him and you know it. That, right there, when we kissed, that was _passion_. That was heat and fireworks, and it was amazing." He cupped my chin with my hand and pulled my face to look him in the eye. He must have known that those blue irises made me weak, especially when they smoldered at me like that. That was the only explanation for why he wanted me to look him in the eyes. "You can't deny that there's something _there_."

I couldn't. So I didn't.

"Meredith, please…"

"What?" I whispered.

His lips were dangerously close again, and I wasn't sure if I had the strength to resist them a second time. "What do you want, Derek?"

"I want you."

I grasped at the doorknob desperately. I had to get out of there. "You can't, Derek. You can't have me. I'm not yours."

"So, what, you belong to Mark?" he asked, his blue eyes blazing.

"I don't belong to anyone, Derek," I said quietly. "But you belong to Addison." And without another word, I twisted the doorknob and flew down the hallway, needing to go to the bathroom more badly than ever.

I didn't manage to stop the tears from falling before I got to the bathroom. I kept my head down to make sure no one say them, but it was too late. Izzie, who was just walking out of the bathroom, saw the tears welling up in the bottoms of my eyes.

"Meredith?" she asked in alarm.

I shook my head. "No, Izzie. Leave me alone." I pushed my way past her and went straight into the bathroom. Unfortunately, she followed me.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub, letting the tears fall freely now. After closing the door and locking it securely behind her, Izzie asked, "Meredith, what happened? What's wrong?"

I hadn't meant to say it. I wanted to keep it bottled up, I wanted to keep it quiet. But I couldn't help myself; it all came, flowing out with a tidal wave of tears that, try as I might, wouldn't stop. I told her everything; about not loving Mark, about Derek and Addison's issues, and about the kiss. When I was finished, I looked up at her. It might just have been my tear filled eyes, but she didn't look surprised.

"Oh, Meredith," she whispered sympathetically as she rubbed my back. "It's okay. It's okay, you'll be fine."

"How will I be fine?" I wailed. "How will any of this turn out to be fine?"

She sighed. "Listen to me, Meredith. You know what you have to do, right?"

I shook my head. "No."

"You have to break up with Mark." I scowled at her, but she took me by the shoulders and shook me a little. "Meredith, I know that you don't want to hurt him. But you'll end up hurting him anyways if you keep lying. And besides, if he really loves you, he'll let you go."

I sighed. "Even if I did break up with him, where would that leave Derek?"

"You can't make him do anything, Meredith. This is about you. If he does break up with Addison and starts to go out with you, then that's great. But if he doesn't, then he's a dumbass and you shouldn't have loved him to begin with. You just have to stop this lie with Mark before it gets worse."

She was right and she knew it.

After I pulled myself together, Izzie helped me walk out of the bathroom. My makeup was gone, my eyes were red, and my nose was clogged up, but my face was relatively dry. With as much confidence as I could muster, I marched into the ballroom and saw Mark next to the punch table, talking with George.

"Mark," I said quietly as I held onto his arm. "I really want to go home. Please?"

He took one look at me and knew that something was wrong. "Okay," he nodded. He turned to George and Izzie. "Tell Addison and Derek we had to leave early." They nodded in reply and he walked me out the door with his hand resting in the small of my back. I was forcefully reminded of when Derek held me there just a few moments ago and shivered unconsciously.

When we got into the car, he turned to me with concerned eyes. "Mer, what's wrong?"

I didn't answer him immediately. Instead, I watched the dark outlines of the trees pass us by as he drove, trying to think of the words. "Mark," I began, "remember when you told me that you loved me and I told you that if you gave me time I'd love you back?"

He nodded, a soft smile spreading across his lips. The pit in my stomach deepened as I realized how much this would hurt. "Yeah. I remember."

I breathed in deeply. "I lied."

The smile slowly melted away into a confused frown. "You lied? Meredith, I don't understand…what do you mean?"

"Mark, I tried," I started. "I tried, I swear I did. I tried to love you. I wanted to so badly, but…but…"

"You don't," he finished in a voice that was barely a whisper. He wasn't looking at me; he kept his gaze trained on the road ahead.

"I don't love you, Mark," I confessed. It felt strangely satisfied, despite the situation. "I can't love you, because…because…"

"You love someone else," he finished for me.

**A/N - I really hate to leave you guy on such a cliffie, but this is really where I have to stop. I'm going to Breckinridge for the next five days on a band trip (as in, I'm updating right in the middle of Visual Basic right now and I'm leaving the moment school lets out), but if you want to see my reasoning behind this chapter, be sure to check out my blog. And I absolutely _love_ coming home to an inbox overflowing with reviews. So, please review!**

**merbelle007 - lol, that's awesome! Prom's pretty close for us too...but it's all drama right now and that's pretty much ruining the prospects. Ugh...**

**CSI3Lyra - lol, so what do you think of this chapter? I'm not entirely sure if one kiss can be considered cheating. Can it? But thanks for the cupcakes!**


	20. Emergency

**Chapter 20**

"You know," I whispered.

He sighed. "It's kind of obvious. The way he looks at you, the way you look back…I'd have to be an idiot if I didn't realize it."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"I was waiting for you." He glanced my way briefly, then brought his eyes back to the road. "I didn't want to believe it was over until you told me it was over. I thought I still had a chance with you if you didn't say anything."

Before I knew it, I was already back home. Neither of us moved; instead, we stayed there in an unbroken silence, waiting for the other to stay something.

"He'll only hurt you, you know," he said quietly.

"This wasn't about him," I replied, repeating the words Izzie spoke to me before we left. "It was about you and me. It wasn't fair to you. It wasn't fair that you loved me so much and I couldn't give you anything back." I brought my hand to his cheek, gently caressing his face. "You deserve so much better."

His eyes softened. "I'm really going to miss you, Mer."

"I'm not dying."

"It feels like it."

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Just for the record, Derek's a jerk."

I chuckled. "I know."

He helped me out of the car and walked me to my front door. "Take care of yourself, okay Meredith?"

"Of course."

He squeezed my hand one last time as he stepped off my front porch and I unlocked the door to my house. I entered and closed the door behind me, leaning against the heavy oak panels while listening to his car drive away.

I kissed Derek.

I broke up with Mark.

I was crying before I hit the pillows.

* * *

I had been planning to call Cristina the moment I woke up the next day. It turned out that I didn't have to.

"What is this I hear about you breaking up with McSteamy?" she demanded the moment I answered the phone.

"Good morning to you too, Cristina," I mumbled as I fell out of bed.

"When the hell did this happen?"

"Last night, right after we left the party."

"Why?"

I tried glaring at her through the phone. It didn't work. "Why do you think, Cristina? Seriously, you're smarter than that."

"Oh my God," Cristina muttered, completely impressed. "I can't believe it. You finally grew the balls to dump Mark."

"Well, Izzie helped me out," I admitted.

"What did she say?"

"She said it wasn't fair to either of us," I said as I shuffled out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen to look for something to eat.

"That's what I've been telling you for the past week!" she cried out indignantly. "Why the hell do you listen to her and not me? Especially since I was the first one who said it!"

"You said it before Derek kissed me."

Pause. Then, "WHAT?"

I winced. "Oh. Right."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'OH, RIGHT'? MEREDITH GREY, YOU KISSED MCDREAMY AND YOU NEGLECTED TO TELL ME?"

"…sorry?"

"What happened?" she demanded.

I didn't really want to tell her. Telling her meant I would have to relive the whole moment again, and while the mere memory of the kiss made me warm and shiver all over, it was still too painful to dwell on.

"He got me alone in an empty office," I began.

"How did he pull that off?"

"I was going to the bathroom and then out of nowhere he just grabs me by the arm and pulls me in there. It's not like I _willingly_ walked into his arms. I'm not stupid you know."

"I beg to differ," she scoffed. "So anyway, the two of you are in an empty office. Then what?"

"Then he starts talking about how I'd been avoiding him which was completely ridiculous because he was the one that picked the fight with me to begin with and made me cry. So then I told him that he needed to make up his mind, and then he told me that he already did. And that's when…you know…"

"Oh…my…God…" Cristina murmured very slowly. "What happened after that?"

"I remembered that we both had significant others, so I pulled away and ran. Izzie saw that I was crying and she led me to the bathroom and listened to me and told me to break up with him. That's when I realized it was really pointless, lying to Mark like this. I was being a bitch."

"You're telling me."

I stuck my tongue out at her, but she couldn't see it. Then the cordless phone pressed against my ear started beeping, telling me that someone was on the other line. "Hang on, Cristina. I have to call you back."

"Fine. But I want more details."

After she hung up, I pressed flash and brought the receiver against my ear. "Hello?"

"Is this Ms. Meredith Grey?" a matronly voice asked. It was polite and calming—the kind of voice you heard before you were about to get bad news.

"Yes," I replied, feeling suspicious. "Who is this?"

"This is Laura, a nurse from the hospital. I'm afraid I have some bad news about your mother."

* * *

"Mark?"

"Meredith?" the voice on the other end asked in surprise. "Are you crying? What happened? What's going on?"

"Mark, I need you to drive me to the hospital right now," I demanded breathlessly.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down—"

"I can't calm down!" I shouted hysterically. "I need to get to the hospital right now!"

"Okay," he said soothingly. "I'll be there in a moment."

He was there five minutes after we hung up. I rushed out of the door the moment the car stopped and climbed into the front seat. "My mother got shot," I said, my voice wavering as the tears I had been holding in had been on the edge of my eyelids threatening to spill over. "She's in the ICU and she's all alone."

"Oh my God," he whispered. Without another word, he floored the gas pedal and we were speeding down the street.

Mark parked haphazardly and we jumped out of the car the moment he turned off the ignition. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe as I ran to the entrance of the hospital and ripped open the door.

Pictures of my mother, lying on the ground and bleeding filled my mind's eye. My lungs were burning, the muscles in my legs were begging for me to stop, but I couldn't. I had to get to her as quickly as possible.

I didn't bother waiting for an elevator. I couldn't stand in a metal box, standing there in complete silence as my mother lay in a hospital bed, so I took the stairs. I needed to keep moving. It was the only thing that could stop the images.

When I finally reached the fourth floor, I ran to the nurse's station. "Meredith Grey," I gasped. "Where's my mother?"

A dark surgeon in navy colored scrubs stopped at my name. "Meredith Grey? Daughter of Ellis Grey?"

I nodded.

"I'm Dr. Webber. Your mother's in surgery and we need you right now. Come with me."

I followed him through the maze of hallways in Mercy West, struggling to breathe. "She got shot in the shoulder," he explained to me as we flew through the halls. "We had to operate on her immediately to save her nerves. Dr. Hamilton is operating on her right now."

"What do you need me for?" I asked. I had seen Derek's operation and that in itself was hard enough to stomach. I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing my mother open and on an operating table.

"We're about to take her off of anesthesia," he explained. "She needs to be conscious for a part of the surgery, and that means she will be in a lot of pain. We need a comforting face for her to calm down enough for us to operate."

We stopped right in front of a closed door and he handed me a mask. "You need to put this on before you walk in there." With fumbling fingers, I tied the strings around my face and followed him into the room. "We've got Meredith," he announced to the rest of the surgeons in the room.

Dr. Hamilton looked up at me. "Okay, Meredith. We're going to take your mother off anesthesia. We need you to calm her down enough so that we can fix her nerves, okay?"

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and nodded. "Okay."

Dr. Hamilton nodded at someone else and a guy in the corner began fiddling with very large machine. My mother began to stir as Dr. Webber took me firmly by the arm and planted me right next to my mother. "Any moment now," he murmured in my ear.

Then, all of a sudden, my mother let out this ear-splitting, guttural scream. She began thrashing against the doctors with all her strength. "It hurts!" she shrieked. "Make it stop, make it stop!"

"Now, Meredith!" Dr. Hamilton shouted.

I swallowed and raised my hands to grasp my mother's face. "Mom, mom, calm down!" I shouted over her screams. "Mom! I'm right here, calm down!"

"Meredith!" she cried when she recognized me. "Make it stop, make it stop!"

"Mom!" I shouted, holding her face firmly in my hands. "Mom, look at me! Look me in the eyes, look me in the eyes!"

She brought her blue eyes to mine. "Mom, I love you, okay? I love you, so please, calm down and let these people do their jobs. I know it hurts, but I need you to pull through the pain. I need you to calm down and ignore the pain."

I watched as she started to take slower, deeper breaths. Her limbs had stopped twitching enough for Dr. Hamilton to do whatever he needed to do. After he finished, he nodded to the anesthesiologist, but not before telling my mother, "You were great, Ellis. The worst is over."

She nodded slothfully as she went under once again. The tears that hadn't managed to fall finally trailed down my cheeks. "Will she be okay now, Dr. Hamilton?" I asked as I turned to him.

He smiled at me through his mask. "Thanks to you, she'll be just fine."

"Meredith, you're welcome to watch in the gallery if you want," Dr. Webber offered. I nodded, not taking my eyes off my mother's peacefully sedated face. He glanced at one of the scrub nurses, who led me to the scrub room and up the stairs into the gallery.

"That was pretty amazing," one of the surgeons told me as I sat down. "The way you got _Ellis Grey_ to calm down like that…that takes skill."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Despite Dr. Hamilton's reassurances, I was still nervous. I knew too well that not all surgeries were success stories, and that the smallest complication could result in death.

I held my breath and didn't blink for what seemed like a year. In reality, the surgery only lasted about ten hours, but when your mother is in surgery, it doesn't feel like ten hours. I heard Dr. Hamilton's voice through the gallery intercom announce that she was finished and she was going to be just fine before he set down his surgical tools and walked out of the OR. The scrub nurses behind him started to stitch my mother back up.

Dr. Webber came into the gallery and smiled gently, almost paternally at me. "Meredith?"

I looked up, my eyes still red, though no tears were falling. "What happened? Why did she get shot?"

He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he gestured for me to follow him.

"There was a shooting at a restaurant," he began as he navigated the halls. "The victims were brought here to the hospital, but the shooter didn't kill anyone. He came back to finish the job, and your mother got caught in the crossfire."

My stomach twisted as the images that were held at bay during the surgery came flooding back. "Oh my God," I choked out.

"You know, I thought it would be next to impossible to find someone that could calm her down," Dr. Webber said very thoughtfully as he watched me. "You probably know better than I do, but she's a raging fire sometimes. I was almost certain that Dr. Hamilton wouldn't be able to fix her nerves."

"How can you talk about it so calmly?" I whispered in horror. Even if the relationship between us hadn't always been the best, I still couldn't imagine life without her. She was my _mother_.

"I'm a surgeon, Meredith," he said quietly. "It's my job."

He walked me to the hospital room and my mother's gurney was rolled in a few moments after I arrived. After promising to get one of the nurses to page him when my mother woke up, I sat down on the couch, my swollen eyes never leaving my mother's still form.

**A/N - I'm back! Sorry I didn't have this up sooner. School's been driving me insane. Anyways, after this, I have one more chapter left and an epilogue. I'm excited to reach the end.**


	21. It Leads Back To You

**Chapter 21**

I had drifted asleep long ago when I was startled by the vibrating phone in my pocket. Taking it out and holding it to my ear, I whispered in a slurred voice, "Hello?"

"Meredith?" a concerned voice on the other end asked.

"Mark," I groaned. I had totally forgotten that he had driven me here. "I'm so sorry, I forgot."

"No, I understand," he said in a voice that bore no ill-will. "You're still at the hospital, right?"

"Yeah," I said, glancing at my mother sleeping peacefully in her bed. "What about you? Are you at home?"

"Yeah," he said. "When you didn't come back, I figured that you probably didn't want to go home and I was afraid to call you, just in case you were somewhere where they didn't allow cell phones or something."

"That's good," I said. "Thank you so much for driving me."

"No problem. Your mother's going to be fine, right?"

"Yeah, she's gonna be fine."

"Good to hear."

"Yeah."

"Well, I need to go," he said. "I just wanted to call and check up on you."

"Thanks, Mark," I said gratefully. "It really meant a lot to me."

"I'm glad. Bye, Mer."

"Bye, Mark."

After he hung up, I stood up and stretched a little bit. A quick glance at the dark sky outside the window told me that night had already come. I was contemplating going to the cafeteria for something to eat when I heard a soft knock on the door behind me. It was Dr. Webber.

"Meredith?" he asked. He walked into the room with a bag of fast food. "I figured you hadn't had anything to eat yet, so I went and took the liberty of getting you something. Are you hungry?"

I nodded emphatically. He chuckled and sat down on the couch next to me, handing me the bag. "So, how are you holding up?"

"Pretty well, considering my mother was shot this morning," I replied, the tiredness managing to bleed through my voice.

"You seem to be spending a lot of time in this hospital lately," he observed as I unwrapped the chicken sandwich. "Your friend was in here a week ago, wasn't he? Derek Shepherd?"

I nodded, unable to speak because of the sudden painful twinge his name brought. I took a bite of the sandwich as a distraction.

We were silent for a while before he asked, "Meredith? Have you ever considered being a surgeon?"

I glanced up at him, into his dark, chocolate colored eyes. I swallowed and said very quietly, "I've thought about it. My mother's suggested it a few times."

"I think you'd make a very good one," he told me. "Not many people have the ability to stay calm when their loved ones are in danger. Imagine what you could do if you were surgically trained with people you _didn't_ know in danger."

"I've thought about it," I repeated. "I mean, I liked dissections in Biology, but becoming a doctor, earning that degree and going through medical school…it's just so much work. I don't even know if I'm really committed enough."

He nodded. "That's understandable. I'm just saying that you should probably think about it. If you're anything like your mother, you'd be a brilliant surgeon," he said, with a small twinkle in his eye.

Right then, his pager went off. He sighed, patted me comfortingly on the shoulder, and strolled out of the room, leaving me with my fast food and my sleeping mother.

I thought carefully on his words as I shoved fry after fry in my mouth. People had been telling me for a while now that being a surgeon wasn't a bad idea…even my mother said something about it, and she didn't say that to just anyone.

I called the school the next day and informed them that I wouldn't be showing up to class because my mother was in the hospital. Since I was the daughter of larger-than-life Ellis Grey and I had saved the most popular senior from imminent death, I probably could have told them that I didn't want to show up to school ever again and they would have just passed me for all my classes. So they gave me their best wishes for my mother, even though I told them over and over again that she would be fine.

My mother woke up later in the afternoon, very happy to see me.

"Meredith," she murmured, a soft smile playing on the corners of her mouth.

"Mom," I sighed in relief.

"How long have I been out?" she asked groggily, the morphine still affecting her.

"Only a day," I said, knowing that my mother wouldn't simply view it as 'only a day'. "You really scared me there for a minute, Mom."

Her eyes softened and I approached her. Never had she seemed so gentle. "I'm sorry, Meredith. How long have you been here?"

"I got here the moment I heard you got shot," I said, taking a seat at the foot of her bed. "You probably don't remember, but they took you off anesthesia, and you needed to calm down enough for Dr. Hamilton to fix your nerves."

"You're right," she sighed. "I don't remember."

I held her hand in mine and squeezed tightly. "It doesn't matter. I'm just so glad that you're alive."

"Me too."

Then we talked like we never had before; she told me stories about her patients, her internship, and her current residency, which was never without its excitement. I finally got the courage to tell her about my convoluted love life, including all the gory details with Mark, Derek, and Addison. She listened very intently, asking appropriate, non-mother-like questions, and I answered them truthfully, not leaving anything out. We had both learned that life could end too suddenly for censorship.

"Well, you did the right thing by breaking up with him, Meredith," she said when I was finished with my story. "It was unfair to lead him on like that."

I hung my head. "I know."

"But I'm proud of you," she declared as she ran her hand through my blonde hair, greasy from not having showered in more than twenty-four hours. "You had enough sense to stay away from this Derek boy."

I sighed. It was ridiculous, the fact that the mere _mention_ of his name would send my heart racing, but it couldn't be helped. "I love him," I admitted to her. "I love him and I don't know what to do."

"Oh, honey," she said, the pet name rolling off her tongue a little awkwardly comforted me more than she could have imagined. "If he's worth it, then he'll come around. If he loves you back, then he'd be a fool to let you go."

"Are guys always this stupid?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes and nodded. "They'll never outgrow it."

"Hey," a voice interjected from the open doorway. "I resent that."

The two of us looked up and saw Dr. Webber standing there with another bag of food, this time from Eddie's Eats. My face immediately lit up when I remembered their mouthwatering burgers.

"Ellis," Dr. Webber said, relief written all over his face.

I turned to my mother and found a strange twinkle in her eye as she smiled back at him with a radiance that was almost painful to watch. "Richard."

Then it clicked. That was what Mark looked like whenever he saw me.

"I'm going to leave the two of you alone," I said cheekily. The bed springs groaned as I lifted myself off the bed and winked at Richard who seemed completely shocked. "Thanks for the food," I added as I grabbed the bag from his frozen hands and ventured off to the cafeteria.

I smiled to myself, contemplating the look between the two of them. Richard would take some getting used to, but he was a nice guy. He brought me fries when I needed it, which was definitely a plus. They also had the same job, so he would understand the crazy hours she had to work. Not to mention, she seemed to like him.

I ate my lunch at a small, circular table under the protection of a gigantic umbrella with a book opened in front of me. For once in the past insane, whirlwind three months, my life seemed like it was finally pulling itself together. The only untied ends were the ones Derek left behind.

I sighed and put my book down as my thoughts turned back to that unwanted direction. It had been three days since my kiss with Derek and I tried my hardest to keep the thoughts from overwhelming me. I wanted him so badly, but at the same time, I didn't want Addison to get hurt. He was her first high school friend, she admitted to me, what seemed like so long ago.

After finishing my burger, I threw the bag away and made my way back to my mother's room. Just as I rounded the corner, Richard Webber walked out of the room, a huge smile plastered to his face.

"Meredith," he said in a booming, joyful voice. "I wanted to speak with you for a moment."

I raised my eyebrows. "Okay."

He took in a deep breath. "I want to ask your permission to take your mother out on a date."

I laughed at first. Then I stopped when I saw in his face that he was perfectly serious. "Oh my gosh, you're really asking me for permission," I said, quickly getting over my initial denial.

"If that's alright with you," he said quickly. "We don't want to do anything that's too sudden, but I thought it would be best if I consulted with you first."

I watched him carefully. "Does my opinion really matter?"

"To your mother, it does," he said. "And to me too. I wouldn't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable, but I won't ask her out if you don't want me to."

I looked him over with appraising eyes. "How old are you?"

"Forty-three."

"Do you have any children?"

"One daughter."

"Do you have a wife?"

He chuckled. "No, I have an ex-wife. Her name's Adele, but she left me for another man."

"You're not still bitter about it, are you?"

"No, not really. It was sort of a mutual thing."

"Do you smoke?"

He raised his eyebrows at me. "I'm a surgeon."

A slow, genuine smile spread across my lips. "Well, then Dr. Webber. I think you'll do fine for my mother." Then I tried to look my fiercest. "But if you break her heart, I swear to God—"

"Don't worry," he interrupted with a grin of his own. "I give you complete permission to beat me to a bloody pulp after I kill myself."

I stuck my hand out to him and he shook it with surprising affability. "I think we're going to get along just fine, Dr. Webber."

Afterwards, he went back into my mother's room to tell her that I approved, so I decided to give them the time they needed in the waiting room. While I was flipping through some of the outdated magazines, a voice interrupted my inner commentary. "Wow, Cosmo Girl? Seriously, Meredith?"

I looked up and to my utter surprise, I found Derek standing there in his crutches, a smile spread across his shadowed cheeks. "Derek?" I asked stupidly as I stood up. "What are you doing here?"

His face instantly sobered. "I heard your mother was in the hospital, and that was why you weren't in school for the past two days. How is she? What happened?"

"She got shot by some psycho," I said airily, as if that sort of thing happened everyday. "She's fine now, and she'll be back to work after some therapy. Did you really notice I was gone?"

The smile came back as he took my hands in his. "Of course I noticed." And without another word, he pressed his lips against mine.

I allowed myself the luxury for about two minutes before pulling away. "What about Addison, Derek?"

He sighed and took the seat next to me while I sat down. "We broke up, Meredith. Like I told you before, we just weren't the same people when we went into the relationship. I mean, we're going to different colleges and we've both grown up and—we couldn't hold on to something that was barely there. Besides," he added, a twinkle playing in his bright blue eyes, "she knew me well enough to realize that I was in love with someone else."

"Who?" I asked as my heart beat against my ribcage.

He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Mer?" Again, our lips met and I felt the familiar thrill racing its way up my spine. He loved me back…it was the most amazing feeling in the world.

But I still had more questions. "Are you sure she's okay with this?" I asked as I pulled away again. "She loved you so much."

He shook his head. "She was in love with the past, the way we used to be. She had a hard time letting go."

I watched him in confusion. I still didn't get it. "But why? Why do you love _me_? I'm just an insignificant little freshman."

He smiled so brightly, I couldn't help but believe him. "You saved me. Figuratively and literally." Before I could ask any more stupid questions, he captured my lips with his once more. And this time, I didn't pull back.

**A/N - That was the last chapter! I still have an epilogue left, so don't worry. That's mostly just to tie up any loose ends and is just full of some random MerDer fluff. Everything will work itself out in the Epilogue.**

**Please don't forget to review!**


	22. Epilogue: In the End

**Epilogue—Three Years Later**

"Meredith!" my mother shouted. "I can't find the ring! Oh my God, I think I lost the ring!"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry, Mom. I have it," I said as I held up the thin, white gold band to calm her down.

She slumped back in relief. "Oh my God…" she muttered, her eyes wide in shock. "What am I doing? I'm marrying him!"

I rushed towards my mother and placed my hands firmly on her shoulders. "No, Mom," I declared clearly. "You are _not_ chickening out on me. Not today. You love him, right?"

Her eyes softened in the way only thoughts of Richard could make them. "Yes."

"You want to be with him, right?"

"Yes."

"Then stop freaking out. You are getting married today and you're going to be damn happy about it."

Tears started to well in the bottoms of her eyelids. "Thank you, Meredith," she whispered as she pulled me into a tight hug. I squeezed her back, trying not to show that I was just as nervous as she was.

"Okay," I said as I pulled away and handed her a tissue. "You need to wipe those tears away and put it together. The beauticians are coming in ten minutes and I'm going to get your veil. You stay here and think happy thoughts, okay?" She nodded and I strolled out of the room to find Cristina and Izzie standing next to the door.

"How's she doing?" they asked eagerly.

"She was freaking out for a little while, but she's calmer now," I told them. "I need to find her dress and mine, and then you two need to go to the gas station, Wal-Mart or whatever and get as many tissues as you can. I have a feeling we're going to need them."

They nodded and ran off to find the tissues. I, in turn, ran out to the car and started pulling out random garment bags, looking for my mother's veil.

When I finally found it, I pulled it out of the backseat and started running back into the church. As I rounded the corner to the room where my mother was getting ready, I felt a hand shoot out of nowhere and drag me into a darkened closet. Before I knew it, a pair of lips smashed against mine in a needy force that took me by surprise.

"Derek," I whispered against his lips. I could feel him smirk.

"Yes?" he asked, as he moved his lips over mine in a way that he knew would drive me insane.

"I have…to give…this veil to…my mother," I stammered in between gasps. Three years later, he still knew how to take my breath away. Literally.

"Can't she wait?" he whined, running his nose from my ear to the tip of my chin in one smooth, sensual motion. His breath tickled my neck and it was taking everything I had to remember to breathe. "I haven't seen you since Christmas."

"Well she's in full freaking bridal mode," I told him, gently pulling away. "I really have to go. I'll see you later, okay?"

He sighed and opened the closet door to let the light flood through. His expression was forlorn, but his eyes were dancing. "Alright. But I'm holding you to that."

I kissed him on the cheek. "Of course," I said before bounding out of the closet.

* * *

"Do you, Richard Webber, take Ellis Grey to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" 

My soon-to-be stepfather smiled softly at my mother that made my heart race for her. Tears began to spring to my eyes, but I held them at bay. I refused to be one of those sniveling maids-of-honor. "I do," he said. I saw him squeeze my mother's hands tighter.

"And do you, Ellis Grey, take Richard Webber to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

My mother's bright blue eyes were swimming in tears. I had been right to ask Izzie and Cristina to get those tissues…even if Izzie had used up half of them already. "I do," she said in a voice quivering with emotion.

I looked up and my eyes met with a pair of ocean blue ones that were dancing in happiness and excitement. My heart lurched as I smiled back.

At that point, my mother turned to me and I offered her the ring. She turned back to Richard and they exchanged rings. "I now pronounce you husband and wife," the priest announced. Then he turned to Richard with a smile. "You may now kiss the bride."

With twinkling eyes, he took my mother in his arms and kissed her for God and the whole world to see. The tears were now freely flowing down my face as I saw the two of them kiss. It was so good to see my mother finally happy, finally in love with someone who loved her back.

After the ceremony and loads of pictures, we made it to the plaza for the reception. I helped my mother change out of her cumbersome wedding gown and pulled her carefully placed veil out of her honey colored hair.

"Mom, you look so happy right now," I told her, my eyes swimming in tears.

"You know what?" she said brightly. "I feel amazing."

She _looked_ amazing as she danced the night away with her new husband. I sat at the wedding party table, watching her laugh, twist and twirl in Richard's arms and couldn't help but sigh in satisfaction. In the far, darkened corner of the dance floor, Addison was swaying with Mark, George was dancing with the girl he brought (Callie something), Cristina and Burke were arguing about something new while dancing, and Izzie was talking spiritedly with Alex Karev.

Everyone found their happy ending.

"Now what's a pretty girl like you doing all by yourself?" I heard a voice next to me ask. I looked up and smiled, already knowing who it is.

"Well, my boyfriend doesn't like dancing," I admitted. "Which isn't hard to see why because every time he's on the dance floor, I feel like hiding in embarrassment."

"Hey!" he cried indignantly. "I can slow dance!"

"Slow dancing does not count as dancing," I scoffed. "It's groping and swaying to music. There's a difference."

"Come on," he tugged on my hand as he rolled his eyes.

When we hit the dance floor, he wrapped his arms around my waist and I reached up behind his neck to twirl my fingers in his glossy, silken black locks. "I really missed you," he admitted to me as we swayed.

"I know," I said patiently, despite the grin tugging at the corners of my lips. "You've told me that every day when you called me."

"I know you know," he replied. "And it's a pretty big deal that I miss you so much, considering how many pretty girls there are at NYU."

My eyes narrowed while his grinned widened. "Kidding, kidding," he reassured me as his grip on my waist tightened. "Mark would kill me if I did."

"Good," I declared firmly. "At least he's keeping you in line when I'm not there."

He rolled his eyes. "You know, exes aren't usually so friendly."

I shrugged. "We're happy exes."

He sighed happily as he gazed into my eyes. "You just get more and more beautiful every time I see you, Mer."

It amazed me that after three years, he could still make me blush. "Thank you."

"So," he began playfully, "that earns brownie points, right? That has to earn brownie points."

"Well," I said as I brought my lips tantalizingly close to his. They were a hair's width from touching. "It depends."

"On what?" he breathed.

"How well you take the news I have to tell you," I replied. I moved my lips to his cheek and gently ran them over the stubble on his cheek. I felt, with great satisfaction, the shiver that coursed through his body.

"And what exactly is this news?" he asked, his voice shaky.

"Oh, nothing," I said flippantly. "Just that I got accepted into NYU's medical program."

If it was possible, his grin widened until it threatened to crack his face. "That's great!" he cried jubilantly. He tightened his grip around my waist, lifted me a few inches off the ground and twirled me around as I laughed exuberantly. Everyone turned and gave us strange looks, but we didn't care.

When he put me down, he looked me in the eye and tried to give me his most severe look. "You're going right?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just weighing my—of course I'm going! Geez, Derek! Seriously!"

Before I could say another word, he crushed his lips against mine in a passion fueled daze. "I love you."

I clung to him, holding onto him for dear life, my face expressing the true happiness I felt. "I know." And I pressed my lips against his, content with knowing that wherever my life led me, Derek would always be at my side, and I would always be at his.

**IMPORTANT A/N PLEASE READ!**

**A/N - Yay! The end. It's been a pretty amazing journey and I just want to thank all of my reviewers. I was really nervous about my very first Grey's Anatomy fanfic and you were just about the awesomest group of readers ever. This is my longest story ever to date, so thank you for sharing this milestone with me.**

**Now, a couple of things about a very _tentative_ sequel:**

**One, I don't even know if I'm doing a sequel. If I'm doing a sequel, the updating won't be as frequent as this was and it will have to take a backseat to _This Heart_ and some of the other story ideas I'm tossing around. _But_, if I get enough requests, I will very seriously consider writing one.**

**Two, if I do a sequel, it won't necessarily be a _sequel_ per se. More like the storyline of _SGPHS_ in Derek's point of view (with a different ending), because I absolutely refuse writing about these characters in the future because A: I don't know anything about college yet becasue I haven't been and B: I'm not at all familiar with hospitals in general, much less working in one. All I know is what I've actually learned in hospital dramas and Discovery channel. But I think that it would be really interesting to see what Derek's been thinking through this entire story.**

**So now that you know what the MAYBE plans are, go ahead and review and tell me whether you want a sequel or not.**


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